Dating a Japanese Girl

[Vladimir]

Yes I know I'm asking for dating advice from a gaming forum full of pubescent males who've had naught but the scent of a woman. So I'd like to appeal specifically to the older members, and it can't hurt. I'm thinking of something along the lines of Sinian's "Line 'em up and knock 'em down" thread (maybe that was backroom ).

In a week or so I'll be having dinner (sushi, of course) with a beautiful Japanese grad student (yes, as in from Japan). It has been a while and I usually default to Mr. Niceguy as I try to be a generous host and make the woman feel comfortable. However this approach doesn't exactly get the egg roll in the duck sauce if you know what I mean.

What kind of information do you need from me on this girl, and what kind of experience/knowledge does anyone here have of Japanese girls (and I don't men teh pr0n!)?

Hopefully this thread will eventually be placed in the backroom, once it progresses.

please.

[Proletariat]

Did she choose sushi? If not, maybe you wanna pick a cuisine she's not already an expert on. Other than that, I don't know enough about dating Japanese chicks to contribute. Where's soly when you need him?

Good luck, Vlad!

[Caius]

Good luck.

I can't even date a girl from my city, so I give you luck. That's all I've got for you.

[Mouzafphaerre]

.

Dating a Japanese Girl

You lucky ! I'm envious jealous!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Joke! Good kuck mate!

.

[Sigurd]

I think Pindar has a japaneese wife and I think he used to live in Japan. If he was still around he could give you advice.
I can only advice those who dates Scandinavians.

[Husar]

My personal opinion is that when you are Mr. Niceguy and don't want to be Mr. Niceguy(which I actually think is a bad idea, but if you really want...) then you have to change yourself, not act on some sort of recipe that isn't really you because then I'd always suspect something you're not prepared for to happen and that's when you fail because you're missing a recipe for that situation.

Thus wishing you good luck might actually be appropriate here.

[Peasant Phill]

I fully agree with proletariat. Surprise her, possibly by chosing something that she didn't know was so great (doesn't have to be a cuisine). That wow-effect is just the thing you need to get her in the right mood for a great date.

[Husar]

Or she was right and she'll hate it.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Oh wait, I should support that...

Anyway, I might suggest Italian, always tastes good.

[Peasant Phill]

But Italian is also widely known.

Chose something like Greek, Mexican or African, ...

Of course you have to make sure that it's up to standard. And of course that the girl is open for that particular new experience (without spoiling the surprise).

[Zim]

My brief relationship with a girl from Japan ended badly, partly because I suffered from niceguy-itis, I think.

Not sure I can offer much advice. I wouldn't reccommend changing your behavior too much, unless you'd want to change it even aside from trying to make a good impression. Any permanant characteristics (like your niceness) are likely to come out eventually anyway, best for her to figure out if she likes you know than get to like a you that doesn't reeally exist.

That said, it's easy to make mistakes in the name of being nice or a good host. I ruined things with that girl by coming on too strongly, and way overdoing my first Valentine's Gift for her. I can only imagine how creepy it seemed.

Then again, I overdid my first Valentine's Day gift to the next girl I dated as well, and now we're married!

[LeftEyeNine]

There should be a great difference between a native and traditional Japanese and another one with Japanese origins.

Being Mr. Niceguy would definitely somehow fail at the second kind. However it will fail at all girls if you only be Mr. Niceguy. My advice on women is "make an impact, no matter how. Don't push it along the lines of rudeness though. But don't avoid having fun of her if need be"

I think this is mostly about a girl than being Japanese. But as long as I've seen here and there, the native and traditional ones would count you out if you behave like a college "gazelle hunter".

As long as she likes you, she'd even like it two of you shopping from a greengrocery's. But going to some place which would provide you with ideas to open chats would serve you well, rather than debating the size of the cucumbers.

Good luck.

P.S. Learn some basic Japanese. It wouldn't hurt at all.

[Vladimir]

There should be a great difference between a native and traditional Japanese and another one with Japanese origins.

Being Mr. Niceguy would definitely somehow fail at the second kind. However it will fail at all girls if you only be Mr. Niceguy. My advice on women is "make an impact, no matter how. Don't push it along the lines of rudeness though. But don't avoid having fun of her if need be"

I think this is mostly about a girl than being Japanese. But as long as I've seen here and there, the native and traditional ones would count you out if you behave like a college "gazelle hunter".

As long as she likes you, she'd even like it two of you shopping from a greengrocery's. But going to some place which would provide you with ideas to open chats would serve you well, rather than debating the size of the cucumbers.

Good luck.

P.S. Learn some basic Japanese. It wouldn't hurt at all.

I knew I'd see you here!

I, ah, may have made an impact when we first met. I think I made her a little nervous, hopefully in a good way.

I guess I'll have to learn more than "wassabi" and "no-dachi."

Did she choose sushi? If not, maybe you wanna pick a cuisine she's not already an expert on. Other than that, I don't know enough about dating Japanese chicks to contribute. Where's soly when you need him?

Good luck, Vlad!

Yes, thank you (and everyone else!). The hypothetical second date would be much different, something like Spanish tapas, third maybe something really Japanese. Thank you for your contribution, and being the first poster. However, I'm not quite in Soly's league yet .

[RoadKill]

What kind of information do you need from me on this girl, and what kind of experience/knowledge does anyone here have of Japanese girls (and I don't men teh pr0n!)?

After saying that I can't help you.

[SwordsMaster]

Man, women are women, even if they are japanese. And men are men, in the same way, before i get jumped on by some overzealous PC watchers. So even thought their cultural backgrounds are different, they "work" in the same way. So whatever makes them tick in Greece will be valid in Laos, at a gut level. That is all that matters anyway. If she's attracted to you at a gut level, everything else is polish.

[drone]

Describe, in detail, your latest STW campaign, complete with a tabletop demonstration (using forks, chopsticks, saltshakers, etc.) of your latest victory. That ought to blow her away!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Sorry, can't help you, I've only dated boring Euro-descended women.

[Rodion Romanovich]

Man, women are women, even if they are japanese. And men are men, in the same way, before i get jumped on by some overzealous PC watchers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFBOQzSk14c

[Rodion Romanovich]

@OT:
Best tips:
- Choose your level on the scale arrogance-niceness appropriately. Neither too urgent to be liked, nor too arrogant and uncaring about what she thinks of you.
- Start out the evening comparatively stiff, reserved and close to hostile, but polite. It gives you respect and makes you appear mentally strong and high up in the sexual rank fight hierarchy, and when you then relax more during the evening you give her a sense of accomplishment, which makes her happy. This point doesn't apply if you have a relationship in which you're already very friendly towards each other.
- If you can find a chance where it is legitimate to make body contact: 1. don't hesitate!, 2. be confident when doing it, and 3. target neither too neutral nor too intimate areas

[Samurai Waki]

Not too sure about dating across the cultural barrier, the only non-American I've ever dated was Italian, and i'm not too sure it was really even...well dating. (more like a fling).

any who, my personal opinion is that you shouldn't feel pressured, chances are she doesn't want you to be anything else but you.

and if you're really, really concerned about the Japanese Women thing. I believe it would be more necessary to have Papewaio's input here.

[Kagemusha]

Date the girl, not the culture.

[Samurai Waki]

Date the girl, not the culture.

Completely agree. But I don't know if it is wise to dismiss her culture entirely, I mean don't be rigid. But curious is good. But, my perspective could also be entirely dismissed... I wouldn't know. apparently I'm not good with dating until I get myself into a lot of trouble.

[Kagemusha]

Completely agree. But I don't know if it is wise to dismiss her culture entirely, I mean don't be rigid. But curious is good. But, my perspective could also be entirely dismissed... I wouldn't know. apparently I'm not good with dating until I get myself into a lot of trouble.

I agree with your point and i admit that my advice sounds very black and white. What im trying to say is that the focus should be on the woman herself. Im sure women from any culture have dated men who know about their culture, mainly men from the same culture. If you will perform a Japanese tea ceremony to her, it doesnt necessarily do you any good. Ofcourse it could if you can give message to her that you did learn it just because of her.Show her that you are interested of her, mentally and physically, take her into consideration, without turning into a lapdog yourself. Show that you are a man and you appreciate her because of her character and also as a woman. Thats all i can pretty much advice. Technicalities are then ..well technicalities.

[Beirut]

Date the girl, not the culture.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Promise a Canadian woman you'll keep her warm through the winter and you've already got her down to her third level of thermal underwear.

[Caius]

Chose something like Greek, Mexican or African, ...

If she doesn't like hot food, then don't choose Mexican Food.

[Vladimir]

Oh, I don't know about that.

Promise a Canadian woman you'll keep her warm through the winter and you've already got her down to her third level of thermal underwear.

Third level?

That reminds me of the time where I was "encouraged" to go swimming in Ontario.

[Kagemusha]

Oh, I don't know about that.

Promise a Canadian woman you'll keep her warm through the winter and you've already got her down to her third level of thermal underwear.

That applies to Finland also, so it could be one of the many reasons id advice not to date the culture, or should i say thermal underwear.

[Beirut]

That applies to Finland also, so it could be one of the many reasons id advice not to date the culture, or should i say thermal underwear.

Yeah, but after Thermal Layer No. 8, when you hit the Victoria Secret stuff, it really is like Christmas all over again.

[RoadKill]

Anyways, I dont know if I can help you since I've never dated inter-racially. But I am Asian oriented myself. And seriously, honestly, and whole heartedly there isn't any diffrence between them and women of other race. They are all the same.

I've been to Japan numerous times. And oh boy! You won't see a girl without a miniskirt, high heel shoes, and all that stuff that make men drool. Fashion is very crazy in japan so don't dress up like Bill Gates. Be cool, dress fashionably. But I'm assuming that shes still very young.

Also pretend you don't know how to use chop sticks, fumble with it. Make her hold your hands to help you. That would be sure to start some magic.

Almost the most important. Manners man! Japanese people are the worlds most kind, generous, funny, polite people you will ever meet. At McDonalds in Japan they serve you like your're a God. And that's McDonalds for crying out loud. So remeber if shes a typical japanese she'll be very polite so use your manners. Don't be a slob.


Thats all i can think of right now. Hope it helps.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Promise a Canadian woman you'll keep her warm through the winter and you've already got her down to her third level of thermal underwear.

Whooaa.. Where in Canada do you live Beirut? We in ontario only have 2 levels of thermal underwear.

(I'm joking, please don't go running around telling your friends that Canadians wear thermal underwear.)

[Shahed]

....appeal specifically to the older members, and it can't hurt. I'm thinking of something along the lines of Sinian's "Line 'em up and knock 'em down" thread (maybe that was backroom ).

....What kind of information do you need from me on this girl, and what kind of experience/knowledge does anyone here have of Japanese girls (and I don't men teh pr0n!)?

Hopefully this thread will eventually be placed in the backroom, once it progresses.

please.

Backroom isn't really a place for dating or seduction advice. I posted my thread there because of (so called) 'mature' content. (link: https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?t=96723)

I dated a Japanese woman a while back. It was very easy, I just played the man and led every step of the way. She was an auditor, came in on her first day to the office, caught her giving the out of the corner of the eye look, looked back. Waited for her to settle in. Got up, looked at her, gestured to the kitchen with my eyes, and walked to the kitchen. She followed, started talking, asked if she'd like a Sangria after work, agreed, went to this nice Spanish place, told her stories about Pakistan (mainly), kept her listening and she talked some, but I held 90% of the conversation, ended the drink early after some tapas, went to my place coz I wanted to show her "some pictures of Pakistan". Got her feeling comfortable on the rug, pulled out some pics, got close, started touching, arm around real gentle, she said she's getting confused, I said so am I, I don't understand why and I don't understand what's happening (ofc I did understand why & what was happening, just had to tell her that I felt like she did and I wanted to say it in her language: womanese), kissed and ... no resistance. Was seeing her for about 3 months, this was back when I really made no effort to understand women. Looking back I would say the 90:10 rule was not a great idea BUT it did work, she just took it all in and accepted my dominance because of it. I did ask her what she likes etc (classical music), so I took her to some Beethoven etc, she loved it. She said she likes Thai... took her to the best Thai restaurant in town, loved it. ALWAYS a surprise I only told her how to dress and what time I will pick her up, NOTHING else. Later on when she wanted to reciprocate I let her decide where to go etc, but not in the beginning.

From her I could say GENERALLY they like to be asked questions about Japan, they are very happy that you are interested in their culture. You should be respectful but not supplicating. You ARE going to be dating her culture because she will act Japanese, so ofc you will be dating her culture, through her. You will score points if you are interested in her culture, she will also see you as relationship material and be more easily inclined to sleep with you. It might be banal to assume that she wants to go for sushi. She's an exchange student, so she will want homestyle warm Japanese meals to remind her of home, but at the same time she will probably be open to discover many new things, including men. It's definetly a plus to know something of her culture, language etc that you can recount, show you know stuff without showing off. Say you butt looks fat in that in Japanese. If she has any sense of humor she'll crack up, if she's a serious nun-ish type then she might take it seriously.

IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT KIND OF PERSON SHE IS, that determines what she will enjoy as a date. You'll need to tell us as much as possible if you want specific advice. If she's a good girl (wears nun undies, white bras, always dresses & behaves proper) she will react differently than is she's a bad girl (bright pink lipstick, loads of eye shadow, real tight mini shorts, tanks with a skimpy leather jacket with fur on the neck).

Personally I wouldn't sweat it, i.e think about it too much, that will just make you nervous.

Mr. Nice Guy, well be mr. gentleman AT THE RIGHT TIME. I've never yet once had a negative response from a woman on being gentlemanly with her AT THE RIGHT TIME i.e at the moment when she wants that. But don't do it all the time. I totally agree that even a negative reaction is far far better than indifference from a woman. Negative is delicate, you don't want her to think you are a total buttwipe, you want her to be attracted to you.

This is just one date, so don't get too hung up on it. In fact go out tomorrow and get another date for the next night. Yóu'll see how quickly this one will lose it's important. Women do this all the time, they always have options. So go get another date is defintely a good priority. Take the pressure off yourself by having another option, you can see clearer.

Asians will GENERALLY test you i.e they will throw crap at you to see if you're really worth it. If you fail i.e you react to their tests they will dump you, or use you then dump you. They will do this with the frequency of East Europeans. they will contest you. Japanese I've seen are reasonably docile compared to other Asians in this regard, but they will test you as well. For example she will drop something behind her and then get up bend over to pick it up, if she catches you gawking, you failed. She wil try to work you up into a rage, if you get angry, you fail. At times however, you WANT TO FAIL the test because AT THAT TIME you want to get an emotive response from her. e.g she's doing a strip tease for you and she bends over and waves the beaver around, now you want to be looking because otherwise she'll feel she's not doing a good job. A recent test I got was a girl who acted offended because I said I was getting bored and I'm going to get the bill, that hit her so hard she started acting really offended. I didn't apologise just said the joke was lost in translation and started talking about music from Madagascar (LOL!), she attentively followed and was impressed that I did not supplicate and bend over to get spanked. Anyway watch out for those tests. If she doesn't test you she's either not interested OR she's already yours for the taking.

You'll need to give a personality profile and/or more specific questions for more specific answers.

(lLanguage - Beirut))

Ooops ! Sorry Beirut.

[RoadKill]

Asians will GENERALLY test you i.e they will throw crap at you to see if you're really worth it. If you fail i.e you react to their tests they will dump you, or use you then dump you. They will do this with the frequency of East Europeans. they will contest you. Japanese I've seen are reasonably docile compared to other Asians in this regard, but they will test you as well. For example she will drop something behind her and then get up bend over to pick it up, if she catches you gawking, you failed. She wil try to work you up into a rage, if you get angry, you fail. At times however, you WANT TO FAIL the test because AT THAT TIME you want to get an emotive response from her. e.g she's doing a strip tease for you and she bends over and waves the beaver around, now you want to be looking because otherwise she'll feel she's not doing a good job. A recent test I got was a girl who acted offended because I said I was getting bored and I'm going to get the bill, that hit her so hard she started acting really offended. I didn't apologise just said the joke was lost in translation and started talking about music from Madagascar (LOL!), she attentively followed and was impressed that I did not supplicate and bend over to get spanked. Anyway watch out for those tests. If she doesn't test you she's either not interested OR she's already yours for the taking.

You'll need to give a personality profile and/or more specific questions for more specific answers.

Thats actually true, for some asians (I'm asian as well so). Espicially with Japanese and Korean women. (Not being sterotypical) I believe it's because of how strict asian parents are. They do all these "tests" to see if they should even bother with you. Just like sinan said. Don't go being a pervert (Unless she is a slut, then yes you have permission to eye hump her). Remeber she'll think lowly of you if you go gawking at her all the time. Act cool, make them want you. Don't make yourself want her. But don't go so far as to ignore her.

(Edit quoted text - Beirut)

[Vladimir]

I dated a Japanese woman a while back. It was very easy, I just played the man and led every step of the way....

LEARN from this man!