Dating a Japanese Girl

[Tachikaze]

I have dated a number of Japanese women and have been in two deep relationships with Japanese, one came within one month of marriage, the other has been a marriage since 2004.

Both went from holding hands to waking up in the morning together in one 12 hour period, though I had known each of them to varying degrees before.

I have found with most women (of the cultures I know) that they either like you early or they don't. You can't do a lot to alter it, short of deception or shooting yourself down. There is something to the chemistry cliche that is true and women might sense it first.

It seems that much of the time, Japanese women don't like someone who is overly nice, but shows interest in them. There are many who seem to prefer silent, tough guys who say little and have a lot of mystery about them. I'm not interested in that type of woman.

While Japanese women are indeed different from US women, it's really hard to type them all. I teach English and have met thousands, here and in Japan. They come in a huge variety.

But I have one tiny piece of advice. Leave at least a touch of mystery. Don't open up your whole life to her for quite a while. In fact, let her ask about you; you ask about her (i.e. major listener).