Reuniting the Tribes: A Getai AAR

[Europe]

Romani: behold! I can see your future!
Epeiros: really?! What is it, then?
Romani: um. You will stop attacking us because there is a harem full of single, hot women to the south of us… but hurry! If you don’t chase after them soon, they will all be taken!
Epeiros: REALLY?! SWEET! OK MEN! LETS DROP THIS SILLY SIEGE AND GET SOME WOMEN!!!
Clever Romans!

Hurry! hooahguy get those women before the Epeiros!!!

[||Lz3||]

great!!

and I second about macs...you can¿t play EB there... <.<

but I dont like my beloved romans being masacred battleafter battle by pesky barbarians

[Chirurgeon]

I am amazed that the romans didnt break the ceasefire like the next turn...they do alot of that backstabbing stuff...so much so I might start wearing my armor backwards

[Hooahguy]

i promised you an update.... i shall give you an update! even though its now technically thursday.....
ah well....

Chapter 37- A New Leader

Our northernmost outposts saw the re-appearance of that huge Romani army. This time, it headed north. Rhemaxos kept an eye out for them.


They took over a small town of not much importance.


But the winter that followed we saw the Romani army appear again- this time in our lands!
Rhemaxos called for help, for he didn't know how many other armies the Romani had hiding in the area, which could pop out for anytime.


The Romani camped out there for an entire year before anyone acted. All of our diplomats were either in Asia Minor or in South Hellas, and the only diplomat there died five years ago. For that year, we waited for them to make a move. We stayed in view of them all the time. Rhemaxos tried to confront them himself to talk to them, but they refused. They would have no talks with any man who was responsible for the shed of Romani blood, which Rhemaxos was guilty of.


When diplomats got to them, asking why they were there. What they were told shocked us: apparently, the Romani weren’t able to pass the word along to this army soon enough that there was a ceasefire in place. The original order was to defeat Rhemaxos then attack Buridava, and to kill every council member that they could get their hands on. In the end, we paid them a small amount for them to go away.


At the same time, an agent got a lucky knife throw at the Koinon Hellenon faction leader while he was at a public meeting in Athenai. The assassin escaped without a scratch.


Across the world, we got word that a faction we had no real knowledge of, the Saka Rauka, have been destroyed by the Baktrians, another Hellenic nation.


However, the most shocking thing that happened was that in the spring of 220, Koson per Drobeta, the last member of the Drobeta family that was alive when Oroles per Drobeta was Vasil, died from a sickness he acquired during the winter. The old, battle weary Vasil would never get to see the destruction of the Koinon Hellenon, who he swore to destroy, but he did get the satisfaction of crushing four large Koinon Hellenon armies.
It was the end of an era.


While we didn't acquire much land, we had grown into a superpower in the world.
The world at the time of his death:


Tarsa per Drobeta took the oath a few days later, and became our fifth Vasil.

The vow of the Vasil
With the will of the Council, I will take authority of this great nation, and I alone will bear responsibility should misfortune befall us. With Gebeleizis by my side, I will lead the armies of the Getai to greatness and fortune. With the help of Hero, no Getic city shall fall under my watch. I pray that Zalmoxis will keep the law of the land on my side, as well as Bendis, who will grant the mothers of the land fertility and prosperous crops. I will obey the will of the Council, who will in turn obey the will of the people whom I am trusted to protect. With the transfer of the Sword of the King, originally owned by Zalmodegikos per Buridava, our founder, I assume power of the kingship on my head. May Gebeleizis assist me in this great task which I am about to embark on. And so I swear on this day that all that I have attested to you now, I will do to the best of my ability. Amen.

With that, the new leader takes the sword and sacrifices a goat to Gebeleizis, regarded as the king of all the Getic and Thraikian gods.

Unfortunately, Tarsa is the last descendant of Oroles who still bears the name “Drobeta.”
The heir to the throne was named- it would be Antyros per Aedava, a cousin of Tarsa.


The first undertaking for Tarsa was to take over the rest of the Hellas.
The Koinon Hellenon was still mostly bottled up in Athenai, where they had retrained the remnants of the survivors of the battles which we crushed them in.


After we killed the Koinon Hellenon faction leader, we thought we had killed the Koinon Hellenon royal family. We hadn’t. Under cover in Rhodos and in Asia Minor were two more Koinon Hellenon family members, one of which was adopted.


They announced that the Koinon Hellenon were to make a new beginning in Asia Minor.


And when we did take over Athenai, we would have to deal with the Makedonians, who have grown very, very strong over the years.


How we would deal with them was unknown, but that was to be determined soon, for the 220’s have been a very violent year for us Getai. Sadly, it would only get more violent.

[General Appo]

You asked for it, but remember, I didn´t warn you.
This just isn´t my kind of AAR, it´s okay, but I just don´t find it extremely funny. If you find that offensive, well, first of all, you asked for comments, and second, you are more than welcome to go over to my AAR and say whatever you think.

[Hooahguy]

its ok. im not offended. everyone has thier different tastes of AAR. as for the funniness, i suppose the same thing applies here...

thanks for the input.

[Hooahguy]

last update for the summer, and maybe even for a long time.... school for me starts on the 18th.

Chapter 38- The Battle for Athenai

The world around us was a busy place.
Epeiros decided to attack Dalminion again.


Pontos besieged Nikaia, in an attempt to take it back.


In the fall of 220, in the months before winter and the supplies of Athenai dwindling because of our blockade of their port, they were forced into open combat with us.
For the first time ever, they outnumbered us.


It was a beautiful day for a massacre. We could see Athenai a mile or two away, and we could even Chalks across the channel.



The first enemy army, quite small, advanced.


We waited for them patiently, as our arrows whizzed to their targets.


Abruptly, Tarsa ordered our horse archers to stop firing at the small army.


When they inquired as to why, he told them that they should save their arrows for the main army, which was coming up the hill, like sheep’s for slaughter.


When they got in range, he let loose with the butchery.


At the same time, the smaller army, along with the cavalry elements of the larger one, crashed with our lines.


Then the bodyguards attacked our lines, but even with their heavy spears and armor, they did negligible damage.


Then the small army routed. The bodyguards followed.


We could not let the enemy general escape, so Tarsa told the horse archers to direct all their fire at him. They did, and he soon fell.


The captain of the main army from Athenai, advancing up the hill, soon followed, struck in the face by an arrow that bounced off a hoplite’s shield.


At that moment, all the horse archers, who had held their fire for a bit, unleashed a torrent of arrows upon the main enemy army.


All of a sudden, the Galatians, who were fidgeting like crazy to get in combat, burst away without orders and attacked the enemy hoplites.


The Thraikians assumed that the order had been given to advance, so they followed.


Tarsa, unable to recall the Galatians and Thraikians on the right side, sent the Thraikians and Galatians on the left side to flank the reformed hoplites that were advancing to our lines.


The effect was devastating.



They soon routed, and our men gave chase.



On the far left flank, way beyond the lines, a lone unit of Hellenic spearmen advanced slowly.
Our cavalry, spotting the threat, charged them, and quickly routed them.


Soon only a unit of Elite hoplites remained. We soon took care of them.


The entire enemy army was in confusion, and our entire army gave chase.




Soon there was only one man left, a mercenary.
We left him alive out of pity.


The victory highlighted all our previous victories. We had lost very, very, few men, but the most important thing was that we killed almost their entire army!


The Koinon Hellenon was so afraid of us that they capitulated as soon as we came to the gates of Athenai with our victorious army. Tarsa took a victory lap around the city, then ordered that all the Southern Hellenic Assembly members, all of whom had decided to stay in Athenai, were to be beheaded and their heads were sent to Rhodos, the new capital. Apparently, the Southern Hellenic Assembly had put too much faith in their armies, and had paid dearly for it.


Now the Koinon Hellenon was left with two provinces, both in Asia Minor. There they would regroup and lick their wounds.


All around the world, people heard of our victory over the Koinon Hellenon, and sent us congratulations on the victory. Even the Combined World Association, who gives out an award yearly to the strongest nation, gave us the award this year. For the past 50 or so years, the Arche Seleukia had won. The tables have turned on the Hellenic world.


But there was still work to be done, and our power in the region was about to be contested.

[Chaotix]

I come back from vacation, and I find no less than 3 updates! Nice job, and keep up the good work!

[Hooahguy]

well, becasue the tavern is closed, i just cant bring myself to continue this AAR in good faith. i know, its devastating, but i just cant play EB anymore once the EB team did what they did.
im so sorry, and i may continue this when my anger subsides, but for now, consider this AAR dead.


thanks so much for everyone reading!

[Tollheit]

Goodbye, and thanks for sharing your AAR.

[Chaotix]

Wh-What?!? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I loved this AAR so much....

As great as this AAR is though, I don't think stopping it is gonna make them re-open the Tavern...

[Hooahguy]

i know they wont re-open it, but im too depressed right now to continue it.....

[Chirurgeon]

Well I for one really liked your work. I hope you reconsider at one point. But if your heart is not in it than there is not much you can do. I hate to do this but why did they close down the tavern? too many drunks running around the village late at night?

[johnhughthom]

Check out the last post in the tavern thread, Foot explains why it was closed. It's on the second page of the main forum.

I'll be sorry to see this AAR go hooahguy, even if your mighty empire did have 10 times as many soldiers as my rather less mighty but honest, cheat free Getic Kingdom can sustain.

[Hooahguy]

Check out the last post in the tavern thread, Foot explains why it was closed. It's on the second page of the main forum.

I'll be sorry to see this AAR go hooahguy, even if your mighty empire did have 10 times as many soldiers as my rather less mighty but honest, cheat free Getic Kingdom can sustain.

ah, the wonders of role-playing......
lol

i will continue this AAR, for the tavern has re-opened somehwhere else (link to it in my sig), and will never close....
i think.

but school has started for me and i have a lot of HW, so no updates planned soon....
but keep faith!

[Hooahguy]

well, sorry for the delay in updates. ive been incredibly busy, and i hope to update within a month.. or two...

[Hooahguy]

well, i finally got around to updating. i will update in 2 or so hours.
but i dont feel so funny lately, b/c i found out recently a good friend of mine has the type of cancer that killed his father. only given a few months to live, so i dont feel too funny....
but hopefully you willl like the new update regardless.

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 39: Into the Black Abyss (literally)

After we took over Athenai in 220, we looked further to the island of Euboia, where the last stronghold of the Makedonians in Europa, Chalkis, was.
Opposing us were two very strong Makedonian armies, and a well-defended Chalkis.
Tarsa per Drobeta moved his army to face the first of the Makedonian armies, commanded by the arrogant captain Meleagros.


While that was going on, reports of a Koinon Hellenon colony over in the Iberian Peninsula came in. It seems as if our Carthaginian allies were having some fun with them as well.


Even though we were rooting for Carthage, we didn't want to get embroiled into another war with the Koinon Hellenon. So we sent a diplomat to make peace with the Koinon Hellenon, and ensure that we wouldn’t be attacked with the few forces they had in Asia Minor. We got it.


The first Koinon-Getic War was over.

Officially, our Getic armies lost 749 men to Koinon Hellenon arms. We lost far more to disease that bred in the dirty Hellenic wine that our men foolishly drank when we looted their cities.

On the other hand, Getic weapons killed 10,923 Hellenic soldiers and their allies in the various field battles. Our military advisors tell us that for every Getic solider slain, we killed almost 15 Hellenic soldiers.

An unknown number of Hellenic garrison members died in defense of their cities, but they number in the thousands.

In Asia Minor, the Makedonians decide to wage war on the Koinon Hellenon, which isn’t bad at all for us.


Back in Buridava, the Council called an emergency session. Instead of meeting in Buridava, they traveled to Demetrias, so Tarsa can react to any situation quicker.

Antyros per Aedava, the new Council leader, told the council of the situation. “Tarsa, our Vasil, is toe-to-toe with the Makedonian captain Meleagros and his army. Backing up Meleagros is another army under an unknown captain and the well-equipped garrison of Chalkis. My Vasil, can you confirm my summary?”

“Indeed. The situation is grave. The Makedonians are, as we speak, performing some maneuvers across the channel, and we can spot many boats that are being prepared. We assume that very soon the Makedonians will cross the channel and attack.”

Councilman Tauros, from Naissos (from chapter 28) spoke up.
“We should send the army under Rhemaxos that is stationed outside of Singidunum to the area to reinforce Tarsa. Rhemaxos isn’t doing anything there; only waiting for the Romani invasion hat will never come!”

Councilman Dapyx, from Singidunum, objected.
“Do you not remember what happened? We let our guard down in that area and my town almost paid the price! If it wasn’t for some emergency reserves rushed into the area, I wouldn’t be here today to object!”

Councilman Kazurus said,
“Why don’t we just save ourselves the trouble and attack immediately, and take what’s coming?”

“We can’t do that! We can’t be seen as the aggressors! It will ruin our already precarious reputation in the world!” said Antyros per Aedava.

Councilman Kazurus replied,
“With all due respect, Head of Council Antyros, we have a precarious reputation? I thought we were the most respected and powerful nation to date?”

“Negative, Councilman Kazurus, on the first part. While we are the most powerful nation to date, we are looked down upon by most of the Hellenic nations, especially Arche Seleukia, the biggest and most dominant Hellenic realm. We cannot afford to anger them.”

“Well then, do you have any suggestions? Anyone?”

Councilman Diales, also the intelligence chief, spoke up.
“I do. We send our best assassin, Skirtos per Zisnudava, to kill the well-liked captain Meleagros. With our luck, his death will provoke the Makedonian army to crossing the river and attacking us, and then we can defeat the Makedonian army. There will be no international criticism, since they attacked us and it will be seen as an act of defense on our part.”

Delighted, Antyros per Aedava, with the entire council, approved it immediately.
“Following the protocol for ordering an assassination, we must get the approval of the Vasil. So, my esteemed Vasil- do you approve of the assassination of Meleagros, the captain of the Makedonian army that threatens your army?”

Tarsa per Drobeta thought for a minute, smiled, and said:
“Kill him.”

[gamegeek2]

Short, but sweet. Again,

[penguinking]

I haven't commented on this AAR yet, but I've been following it.

It is hilarious. Keep it up!

[a completely inoffensive name]

Hooahguy! You're back! Yay!

[gamegeek2]

Just wondering, where do you get your money from? Your cities all seem to be in the pits, despite the overabundance of ridiculously profitable mines in the area.

[Hooahguy]

well, first of all, the mines are HUGELY helpful. 2nd, just because my cities show negatives, my conomy is doing very well. also, i RP that each city i take over gives me 20,000 mnai a turn, as an extra tax or s/t....
new update later today!

[gamegeek2]

Oh, that's cool. The mines are ridiculous in Pella, aren't they? :)

[Hooahguy]

sorry for the delay in updating. i got sidetracked while writing it and played a tense game of company of heroes.....
ill update a bit later. i promise.

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 40: The Start of the 2nd Makedonian-Getic War

Sure enough, the Makedonians declared war on us.


But the invasion never came.
For two whole years we waited tensely as we watched the Makedonians do maneuvers across the channel.


“They’d better be a worthy foe if they are doing all this practicing” remarked an aide of Tarsa per Drobeta, the Vasil and the general.
To that Tarsa replied, “Oh, they can’t be much worse than the Koinon Hellenon!”
“Do we know, my Vasil?”
“Know what?”
“If the Makedonians are good fighters.”
“I’m pretty sure they are.”
“Well, we will see in the next battle, if it ever comes.”
“We will see, we will see.”

Tarsa became fed up with the Makedonians. Under the cover of nightfall, he moved his entire army, by boat, to the northern end of Euboia, to provoke the Makedonians into a battle.


It worked.


The Makedonians were overly confident, or at least most of them, in victory.


It was a nice day, and we had a great view of our gallant navy, waiting offshore.


Our horse archers opened fire with deadly volleys of steel-tipped arrows.


But it didn't have much effect. The Makedonians learned from their mistakes, unlike the Koinon Hellenon, and rushed to close the lines as fast as they could.


A few minutes after the lines collided, our left wing of cavalry burst out of the nearby cornfield to attack the enemy archers, which were harassing our Galatians.


Speaking of Galatians, they got angry. For the first five minutes, the Galatians on the left flank were ordered to stand still, and wait for orders. In no time, they lost 30 men to the Makedonians harrowing waves of arrows.
Disobeying orders, they burst forth and went on a bloodbath, killing every Makedonian in sight. Not a single Galatian from the left flank fell after they burst forth from the lines.


On the other side of the battle, the Galatians saw their brothers charging, decided it was a good idea to follow their lead, and promptly routed a few units of Makedonian spearmen.


In the middle, our ranks were having a difficult time defeating the Makedonian phalanxes.


It required a cavalry charge to rout them, along with the rest of the Makedonian army.


Our lines then collapsed into confusion, everyone was rushing to chase after the routing Makedonians, and there was little order. Not even Tarsa could rein them.

It was a mass rout. Even our Vasil and his bodyguard, who usually stay out of the fight (after what happened to Zyraxes per Dokidava), took part in the chase.


It was around then that we killed the Makedonian captain.


Finally, only a few remained, and our horse archers ran them down.


The battle was over, and a great Getic victory, but at what cost?


Indeed, we had defeated a large Makedonian force, but lost a bit over a third of the amount of men we lost in the entire Koinon-Getic War.

It was distressing for men who have only seen light losses their entire military career. The Galatians were especially hurt, inn numbers and prestige. For the first time ever, they lost a third of their numbers. They came to Tarsa with a request.
“O most noble and esteemed Vasil, we have a request.”
“What is it, my revered Galatians?”
“We would like to go back to Greece, to replace our numbers. We simply cannot function with only 80-90 men in each unit.”
“That’s reasonable. The only problem is that we cannot function without you Galatians either, so per your request, we will head back to the mainland during nightfall.”
“Thank you, my honored Vasil.”

So they went back, in the summer of 217, much to the astonishment of another large Makedonian army that marched up as the last boats were leaving.


Tarsa sent for reinforcements, and soon, after a bit of rest, they would be off again to confront the Makedonians.


Back in Athenai, Tarsa was troubled.
“Oy gevalt, what have I done?”
“Sir, you did noting wrong. You led us without fail in the previous battle!” said his chief aide, Dizo.
“But I have ruined the reputation of the Galatians. I have failed them!”
“Sir, you did no such thing!”
“By forcing them to stand by and receive missile fire, and not send them out to close with the enemy early on, they hold me in low regard, as of now. This never happened under Koson, even Oroles!”
“My Vasil, maybe it is time for new tactics on the battlefield?”
“Yes, it is time for something new. Any suggestions?”
“Sir, I thought of one before the battle, and now I will present it to you.”

Dizo laid out a sheet of paper, detailing the plan.


“You see, my Vasil, no longer are the Thraikians and Galatians evenly distributed throughout. All of them are put on the far left flank. All our cavalry are put on the far right. Our phalanxes are put in a slight U-shape, and our Komatai Epilektoi are to defend their exposed flanks. Our steppe cavalry are to provide support from within the U-shape. You will be behind them, or amongst them, whichever is your choice.”
“I see, but how will this help?”
“When the enemy hit our lines, we send our cavalry and Galatians, along with the Thraikians, against the enemy all at once at the enemy’s flanks and rear, crushing them.”
“What if the Makedonians see our ploy and head for them instead of the main force?”
“We will play it by ear, my Vasil. If there are trees, we can hide them in there, until it is time to strike. Give it a try, my Vasil, and we will see if it works.”
“Against my better judgment, I will try it out. But if this plan fails, you will take responsibility, be arrested and tried for incompetence in battle. Do you understand?”
“Sir, what defines a failure? Defeat?”
“Defeat or more than 400 casualties on our side.”
“My Vasil…”
“Accept it, or the plan will not be tried. Too much to gamble in this plan. Our army is the finest in the world, not a group of guinea-pigs to be tested upon!”
“I understand, and I accept the responsibility.”
“Good luck, Dizo. For your own sake, I hope your plan succeeds. You are the best aide I have. Now this meeting is dismissed.”

[Pinkkiller]

hahaha ''never,never forget the meatballs'' omg that's funny

[Aemilius Paulus]

Very, very interesting and one-of-a-kind AAR. Sort of a comic relief after reading all of those serous AARs. You have excellent humour and you never seem to run out of jokes. Keep up the good work!

I still don't get how you earn all of your money. You probably have something like -30-40,000 mnai per turn. What's RP anyway? Do you just enslave and partially raze every city you take?

[Hooahguy]

Very, very interesting and one-of-a-kind AAR. Sort of a comic relief after reading all of those serous AARs. You have excellent humour and you never seem to run out of jokes. Keep up the good work!

I still don't get how you earn all of your money. You probably have something like -30-40,000 mnai per turn. What's RP anyway? Do you just enslave and partially raze every city you take?

RP=role-playing

i get my money from mines, and all my garriosns are levies, except the "hot" areas....

[Hooahguy]

ok, 2 new updates, coming riiiight up!