I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

[Strike For The South]

I most certainly do. If you're just jealous of my riches let me know, if you can scrape up 46.5, I'll go havsies with you on our own barrel of oil, with an option to buy my half on a generous payment plan.

I didn't know about the barrel, Kukri. Thanks for pointing this out.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Thanks to everyone for salvaging what I thought would be a hilarious thread, and then lost heart and gave up on it and hoped no one would read. Sometimes it takes some very deep digging to pump the funny from a thread but it's turned out that oil's well.

I have merley 2 pence