Across the Waters: A Story of the Migration

[Reverend Joe]

@Reverend Joe: I’m glad you felt the ending worked. I wasn’t exactly sure. Personally I’ve thought of Cadwalador as a hero all along. If you’ve ever been in some of these situations in real-life, you know staying loyal to a currently unpopular person or cause is one of the most truly heroic things you can ever do. But I wanted to end it with a dramatic last stand.
As for the second part of your comment, if you are suggesting that I should edit the “monotheism” out before I should try to get this story published, I would agree with you. With the benefit of hindsight, I can see that it just didn’t work in this story. Despite the truth of what I believe, the idea that the Aedui of 272 BC would have known of it was pushing the envelope, particularly with what Sarcasm said of their lack of written records. And, perhaps more importantly, it didn’t add much of anything to the plot. Cadwalador’s healthy skepticism of his native gods was already well established and I probably should have left it at that.
However, if you are saying that I should expunge the notion from all of my writing, then I will have to respectfully disagree. That would be to cut out a part of my character, and no writer can do that and survive with themselves, much less anyone else. Indeed, my regular writing, which is far more modern in nature, will be pitched toward the Christian publishing market. The difficulty I perceive there is that the said market has largely been taken over by pacifists and those who somehow believe a Christian is not permitted to kill in defense of his country. The Christian protagonist of the novel I’m currently working on is a paramilitary who happens to believe you can.
All the same, I appreciate your concern. As for people not being kind, well, I’ve already found that out. . .

I wasn't suggesting you eliminate it from everything, especially if you are writing for a Christian audience. I was just saying it doesn't jive with this story.

Also, I would leave out the epilogue as well when publishing. I know it provides more closure in a way, but to me it really weakens the dramatic end. Cadwalador's last brave stand just feels like a book slamming shut.

Edit: also, thanks for the excerpt, but it doesn't seem like the kind of thing I would be interested in. To be honest, a historical novel like this one seems much more original than the subject in the excerpt.

[Lysimachos]

Edit: also, thanks for the excerpt, but it doesn't seem like the kind of thing I would be interested in. To be honest, a historical novel like this one seems much more original than the subject in the excerpt.

Although a historical novel might be more original, I have to say that I'm not too fond of them. It's one thing to like an AAR about a game I play and that compulsorily has an alternative history and another thing with pseudo-historical books that make my accuracy-feelings hurt

[General Appo]

Very good AAR, and one of the few ones that have actually come to an natural end.

[Theodotos I]

I wasn't suggesting you eliminate it from everything, especially if you are writing for a Christian audience. I was just saying it doesn't jive with this story.

Also, I would leave out the epilogue as well when publishing. I know it provides more closure in a way, but to me it really weakens the dramatic end. Cadwalador's last brave stand just feels like a book slamming shut.

Edit: also, thanks for the excerpt, but it doesn't seem like the kind of thing I would be interested in. To be honest, a historical novel like this one seems much more original than the subject in the excerpt.

Well, I added the epilogue because I felt that my readers might like to know what happened in-game, i.e. that I truly was defeated. Since it is so dependent on the game, I wouldn't think of including it otherwise.
Also, as for the excerpt, there is nothing truly original in writing. And I think my stories will be dramatically different from others in the genre. I strive for realism. . .

@Lysimachos: So, you would be interested in a novel of the sort proposed in the excerpt?

@General Appo: Thanks for commenting. I was committed to following this through.

[Theodotos I]

Well, the time has come to bid a fare-thee-well to all my readers who have faithfully followed this AAR over the last six months. Thank you all. If I’ve missed anyone, please forgive me.

Chirurgeon: I guess by all rights the first thanks goes to you. It was your AARs which got me started in the first place, and after my rewrite of Chapter 27 of Iberia Rising, I decided I had better put up or shut up. Thanks for following and for your kind words of encouragement along the way.

Shylence: Your Casse finally vanquished me, but I left many of them dead in the field before I was overcome. If you still frequent the Guild, I trust you will read this. Good luck, mate.

Ludens: Your boost at the start was much welcome. I trust you were able to keep reading.

Keravnos: Thanks for your comment at the beginning and good luck with EB2. Maybe one day I will write an AAR based upon it.

Frodge: You asked for more and I did my dead-level best to supply it. Hope you stayed for the ride.

Brave: A comment at the beginning and never again. Thanks for the encouragement anyway and I hope you lurked along.

Hax: I’m still waiting to sign you on for the movie role of Berdic. Your imitation is just too good to pass up. Thanks for following.

Captain Black: Been a while since I’ve heard from you, but Cavarillos finally met his doom, just as you had hoped. The confrontation took place, just as you knew it would. I trust you’ve had the chance to read it.

Long lost Caesar: I kept it up and hope you read along. Good luck with your own writing.

Yossarian: The regular updates kept coming and I hope you stopped in for them. It’s been a long journey.

Chaotix27: Defeat. The first Total War campaign that ever ended with me being wiped out. But a good last stand. Thanks for reading.

Gamegeek2: Cadwalador didn’t survive, not in the long run. But he went out fighting. That counts for something.

Reality=Chaos: I think I blew quite a few people away with a number of these chapters. Hopefully not typical AAR fare. Thanks. And my novel is coming along. . .

Midnj: Yes, I tried for a path of at least semi-realism. Or plausibility.
Reverend Joe: You and I went round and round several times over all this, but your comments are always welcome. Thanks for following along and voicing your opinion freely. Always want to know what my readers are thinking.

Irishmafia2020: Haven’t heard from you in a while, my Navajo friend, but I trust you will be able to finish reading this story. Your support was invaluable over the months and your plug for the AAR over on TWC was golden. Thanks for the kind words.

Fenix3279: Thanks for following Defiant—er—Fenix. Keep up the good work on EB2.

MerclinusCDXX: Cadwalador just kept passing out, didn’t he? Thanks for all your lurking and for your vote over on TWC. It was much appreciated.

Sarcasm: Still trusting I didn’t throw you too far off-balance with the inclusion of monotheism, I was glad to have an EB team member reading. Wish you could have advised me a little more on my portrayal of culture. I didn’t know very much about the Aedui or Britonic tribes (which is pretty funny when you consider that this AAR will now come up in a Google search for the Dumnones)

Red Russian13: You only posted once, but your comment heartened me, as coming from a soldier. Whatever you’re doing now, wherever you’re located, take care of yourself. Your service to this great country is appreciated more than you can know. God bless.

Aaldaemon: I know you’re no longer active on these forums, but to leave you out would be an injustice. Things finally wound up with the tragic end you had desired, if not in the way you thought. Your own AAR was fabulous. Come back and finish it!

General Appo: Never become too predictable. That’s my motto.

Olaf the Great: Some people were drunk in this story. Cadwalador was never one of them. Thanks for reading.

Cadwalader: I still get a good chuckle every time I see your username. Your comments and help along the way were much appreciated, including your suggestion regarding the sword. The final dramatic touch I needed. Thanks.

Swordmaster: I’ve been so busy with this I’ve not commented on your Seleukid AAR. But please continue!

DaCrAzY: I doubt I will ever try to publish this particular story. It relies quite heavily on the game, and the ending would be hard for most readers to enjoy.

Ower: I tried to keep enough twists in to keep the story moving and keep people guessing. Glad to know I succeeded. Thanks for reading, man.

Hooahguy: You and I keep jockeying for third and fourth place in view count. If you hadn’t come back from the Tavern, I would have ruled supreme!!!

Tristrem: Aneirin is dead. As you wished, milord. But he died like the hero he truly was, and Cadwalador beside him. Thanks for your input.

Roka: Scotland. I’ve always wanted to go there, so it’s nice to have one of the Scots reads. (Notice, I’m smart enough to tell the difference between Scots and Scotch. Scots are the people. Scotch is the drink.) Many thanks for reading—I may be published one day.

Legosoldier: Thanks for the balloon, even though I’m not the Olympian you thought I was. If you knew me, you’d realize I’m hardly the athletic type. History, philosophy and literature have always been more my forte. As I delve back into my translation of Omar Khayyam. . .

Lysimachos: I prize comments from my fellow writers above all others, for they know first-hand the challenges that others can only imagine. And your Seleukid AAR is quite good, really. I’m pleased to know that this AAR is one of your two favorite of all time. Now if we can just get Aaldaemon back on the forums!

Aemilius Paullus: What’s your username over on TWC? This AAR is being entered in two more contests over there the end of this month, so keep an eye out if you want to support it. So far it is the only EB entry. Thanks for all of your help.

Penguinking: You were last new reader to comment before the end. Thanks for the encouragement. Let’s hear it from the lurkers!

Praxis: I am honored, my friend, to think that you joined the Guild to comment on my story. Now that you’re here, I hope you will stay and add your voice to the many and sundry discussions that take place here on a daily basis.

And above all, I need to thank the translators of the King James 1611 Bible. As strange as this may sound, it was only my familiarity with the sentence structure and grammatical phrasing of this sacred work that enabled me to convey the feeling of ancient times that I believe was portrayed in this AAR. Your work in translating the Word of God has never been surpassed, nay, not even equaled.
And please, if you’ve never commented, PLEASE COMMENT NOW!!!!!!!! You, as well as everyone mentioned above, will receive an excerpt from the manuscript I’m currently working on, just to give you an idea of my plans for the future. Thanks to all.


EDIT: Once again, this AAR is entered for the competitions on TWC. Voting should start next week. If you have an account, please support this story. Many thanks.

[Lysimachos]

@Lysimachos: So, you would be interested in a novel of the sort proposed in the excerpt?

Yes, just drop a note when you are published

That's a looooong thank-you-list you have there! I can only hope my AAR will never end, so I won't ever feel obliged to write one, too

[Chaotix]

A great ending to a great AAR, Theodotos! Awesome job with this! Also, not many AARs incorporate this much emotion and sadness, and for that, the AAR is unique. And if you're really going to publish this as a book, I think it will fit perfectly, because really, it was more of a book with pics than an AAR anyway. Thanks for such an awesome story!

[Sarcasm]

Sarcasm: Still trusting I didn’t throw you too far off-balance with the inclusion of monotheism, I was glad to have an EB team member reading. Wish you could have advised me a little more on my portrayal of culture. I didn’t know very much about the Aedui or Britonic tribes (which is pretty funny when you consider that this AAR will now come up in a Google search for the Dumnones).

You did not - I assure you I read every single line in this AAR and enjoyed it a great deal. First of all, thank you for taking the time to write the AAR, and dropping a few lines for me.

Secondly, my main gripe with the inclusion of monotheism at that stage of history, is that it existed in very few places in the world, and even then mainly those regions with significant oriental influence. For example the Cynetes of southern Portugal were, as far as we can tell, monotheists by the time of the Punic wars and were thoroughly detested by the Lusitanians (perhaps by it) who were of a more continental/Celtic-like culture. When Christianity reached certain areas of the Roman Empire, the resistance to it wasn't always something mandated by the imperial seat, but rather a local response to a newly arrived aggressive religion, who tended to replace the old creeds. This was even more evident in places outside the Empire, and gave Christians some of their dearest Martyrs. Of course this didn't happen always, in certain places, the Christian doctrine would take the place of most Father-God cults, often in the very same places where they were worshipped before.

I refrained from advising you, largely because I have had, some bad experiences in the past; not everyone is as anally retentive as me, when it comes to portraying history in the most precise form as possible, even in the relatively light historical novels. That said, I'll take the liberty of giving you some advice...if it's not too arrogant of me to do so. I know how difficult it is to write something that doesn't look like the same thing you've been reading all your life, and that's the only reason I'm giving them. Anyway, if you're ever going to write a *real* book, try not to write it for a particular crowd - write what you feel is right, without a direct consciousness that you're having to add or remove this or that because some dogma says you should.

From a purely technical point of view, I think you needed to give somekind of release to main hero at some point in the story, if only to contrast with the huge amount of grief the man had to bear. Also, that ending will probably not work in a proper book - I'm not saying the hero needs to live beyond the book, but there has to be somekind of satisfying (or at least bitter-sweet) closure to the story. After a while it just seems like you're deliberately trying to go God-on-Job on the poor guy. Otherwise you have a great narrative feel to your writing and I feel you'll do great if you're dedicated enough to your craft.

Oh, and take it easy on religion...sometimes I feel people try to be, as we say over here, more of a Saint than the Saints themselves. In the end, to serve God, if you wish to call it that, is to live a good life, to honour your forefathers, to see the world and all it's different perspectives, and always to try and receive something from them, regardless of your own personal dogmas.

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page...To seek the highest good is to live well.

[Ludens]

Ludens: Your boost at the start was much welcome. I trust you were able to keep reading.

I was, and I enjoyed the story very much. Thank you for publishing it. I do suggest you pay attention to Sarcasm's post though. He put my only criticism on the story in a far more helpful way than I could.

[HunGeneral]

Greetings everyone!

It was a good idea too check the EB forums

I could say lots of things about this AAr if I could find the right words

I would also like to use the opportunity to congratulate Theodotius - this will surely be one of the best AAr's out there.

[Hax]

@Sarcasm: How about Zoroastrianism? Could that be defined as purely monotheistic (seeing that it actually consisted out of two Gods made one (Ahuramazdah)?

[Theodotos I]

Well, wow. Everybody's still here.

@Lysimachos: Will do. As for the thank-you list, it was well worth it. Every one of my readers added something to this, and thanking them was the least I could do.

@Chaotix27: I wanted to do something a little deeper than your average AAR. As for publishing it, I agree with Lysimachos. Alternate history tends to anger me in the real world. AARs are different. You expect it here. Although Harry Turtledove has done some interesting stuff over the years. . .

@Sarcasm: My writing in real life(don't worry, I'm still PM'ing the excerpts), differs from this in a lot of ways. And I write it the way I want to write it. A publisher will change what he doesn't like. My main character in my novels is similar to Cadwalador in some ways, except for his attitude on war. And it's a lot more realistic than this. And very few commercial novels end with the death of the main character. Job? That wasn't quite my intention. I drew from the Biblical accounts of David and Saul, and Joseph in Potiphar's house for sections of the AAR.
As for your comments regarding religion, I'm afraid we'll have to agree to disagree. My faith in Jesus Christ has changed everything about me and is the primary reason I make an effort to treat my fellow Orgahs in a polite and respectful manner(don't always succeed at that, I know), but I try. Trusting Him as my Savior is the best decision I ever made, and I'm not withdrawing that statement.
I would appreciate your take on my portrayal of Gallic culture. I know very little about the time period or the area, and just tried to write a good story that portrayed the Aeduans as intelligent people. I didn't have the time to do the extensive research I do for every chapter of my novel. Work and college intervened.
@Ludens: As I note above, his criticism is well taken. Thanks for reading.
@HunGeneral: Welcome, my TWC friend. Although I realize you've now read the whole thing, it still will be posted on Total War Center--the whole story. Double-posting takes some time.

The AAR Competitions can be found here: http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=189943 and here: http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=182708
Voting starts Wednesday. Please support this story!

EDIT: Lysimachos, you've got my vote.

[penguinking]

I just want to congratulate you on finishing the AAR. While the ending wasn't what I expected, I did like it. I had seen Cadwalador as a hero the whole time, but the heroic death did surprise me somewhat.

This is obviously a matter of personal taste, but I liked the dark overtone of the story. I wouldn't change that too much.

[Roka]

congratulations on a great AAR that i will truly miss

[Legosoldier]

Who is exactly the protagonist in this story?

[Reverend Joe]

...Cadwalador? The dude who is in every chapter?

[Theodotos I]

I'm amazed and honored that people are still commenting on this story even after its close and the demise of its protagonist, Cadwalador. Thanks, Joe.

@Penguinking: One thing I really enjoyed about this story was how small my empire was. Most of my EB empires are quite massive and I find myself caring very little or not at all about any of my less spectacular generals. The kingdom of Erain was so small that any general was a personality to be worked into the story, and made it a lot of fun. Thanks for reading.

@Roka: Thanks. I trust you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it, my Scottish friend. Maybe I'll come to Scotland some day. Some of my roots are there.

In the end, I wonder how many people read this story? How many lurkers still out in the darkness? Thanks to all who commented.

[Roka]

@Roka: Thanks. I trust you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it, my Scottish friend. Maybe I'll come to Scotland some day. Some of my roots are there.

In the end, I wonder how many people read this story? How many lurkers still out in the darkness? Thanks to all who commented.

oh really? were abouts are your family from originally?

[Theodotos I]

oh really? were abouts are your family from originally?

It's more conjecture than anything. I'm kind of a Heinz "57 varieties" All-American mutt. Some of my Mom's family came from Switzerland and Germany, came over here to the US and intermarried with the Cherokees. My father's family came from England and the British Isles, but there's been some speculation that one branch of it came from Scotland. You see, there's a family name in my genealogy that is similar to one of the nobles that supported William Wallace. Let's put it this way--I'd like to think I'm part-Scottish. Beware of the thistle. . .

[Roka]

It's more conjecture than anything. I'm kind of a Heinz "57 varieties" All-American mutt. Some of my Mom's family came from Switzerland and Germany, came over here to the US and intermarried with the Cherokees. My father's family came from England and the British Isles, but there's been some speculation that one branch of it came from Scotland. You see, there's a family name in my genealogy that is similar to one of the nobles that supported William Wallace. Let's put it this way--I'd like to think I'm part-Scottish. Beware of the thistle. . .

interesting, there's speculation in my family that we are not descended from irish immigrants in the 1800s at all but are actually descendents of william "the black" douglas

mere speculation however

[penguinking]

I'm amazed and honored that people are still commenting on this story even after its close and the demise of its protagonist, Cadwalador. Thanks, Joe.

@Penguinking: One thing I really enjoyed about this story was how small my empire was. Most of my EB empires are quite massive and I find myself caring very little or not at all about any of my less spectacular generals. The kingdom of Erain was so small that any general was a personality to be worked into the story, and made it a lot of fun. Thanks for reading.

Of course we're still commenting on your AAR! It's a masterpiece!

I did love how your small empire let you focus more on specific characters. When you have a massive empire with 30 family members and 2 major battles a turn, things be become less special.

I liked the ending- the heroic last stand was well done. But I'm still a bit sad that Cadwalador died. After all he went through, I thought maybe he deserved something more. At least some kind of legacy or something.

[Theodotos I]

@Roka: That's interesting. Family genealogies always are.
@Penguinking: Thanks for reading, it was an honor to be a part of this community and have such a dedicated following.
This AAR is nominated for the TWC AAR of the month competition. I came close to making the final three last time. I'd like to win this time Please support. The link is here http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=196003

[Theodotos I]

All right, everyone should have their excerpts now. If you haven't received one, please let me know and I'll fire off a PM.

EDIT: Voting on TWC ends Friday. Thanks to all who vote.

[penguinking]

I did not get one, and I would absolutely love to have one.

[Theodotos I]

You're good to go!

[gamegeek2]

Too bad it's over. Can you do another?

[Theodotos I]

I had plans for another EB AAR, but I really need to focus on my novel at the moment. That said, if I run into writer's block again, I may be back. Thanks for reading.

[Alexander IV Aegus]

This was a brilliant AAR and its a real shame to see it end . I'd really love to have an excerpt.

[teh1337tim]

you should do a macedonian one next about the rise and fall of macedon against rome :P
would be quite interesting if u have enough time to do it

[Theodotos I]

you should do a macedonian one next about the rise and fall of macedon against rome :P
would be quite interesting if u have enough time to do it

I'll do another one if I ever get time. Thanks for posting.