Why do people insist on being such bums?

[Dîn-Heru]

I find using polite phrases to be the ultimate sign of disrespect.


I you don't really wish me a "merry christmas", for example, then don't say it. Saying "merry christmas" when you really don't give a crap about how their christmas is - I can't think of anything more disrespectful than that. I much prefer honesty.

Are polite phrases disrespectful?

Yesterday I was at the hairdresser and when I left she said merry christmas and I responded in kind. I do not care if she actually has a merry christmas, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual. Was this exchange dishonest? I say no, because whilst I do not care, I sure hope she has a merry christmas. The thing about polite phrases is that they ease interaction between strangers. Can you honestly say that when you worked at the gas station you preferred the costumers who were demanding and rude?
I can assure you that not everybody feel this way. When I came back from Australia last year I missed my flight from Oslo to my hometown and had to buy a new ticket at the airport. While I stood in line one guy had an argument with the lady at the desk and although I did not hear the exact words he used, it sure looked and sounded like he gave her his honest opinion of her and SAS. Then when my number seemed to get skipped over (there were several desks and the one where my number showed did not have a SAS sign so I did not see it) I approached her to ask why my number had been skipped over and she basically snapped at me, the rude guy had basically made her day worse and she took it out on other passengers (this was just a couple of days before christmas so they were fairly stressed already).
The point I'm trying to make is this, in a world where most of the people we interact with will never cross our path for more than a few moments, what point is there in being (brutally) honest? Sure, you can say that honesty is a noble ideal, (and I agree with that sentiment), but is it not better to leave the brief encounter with a smile and a kind word rather than a sincere F' off?

As a sidenote:
I do not know if this debate has reached your side of the mountain since it has to the with the implementation of a common set of rules for acceptable behavior for children at school in Bergen. Anyway I would just like to hear what you as a teacher think of one of the issues raised. One of the suggested rules is that the pupils have to greet the teachers and principal when they enter the classroom (I don't remeber if they have to stand up or not, but I imagine that they would have to). One principal described this as cold blast from the past and a form of "carcass disipline" (kadaverdisiplin) that he would not agree to enforce in his school and that the teachers should earn the respect of the pupils before they had to treat the teachers with respect in return. One of the letters to the editor that came in response to this said something I agree with. "When you meet people you should treat them with respect, they then have to work to keep your respect of them" Anyway, I just wondered what your opinion on this is? (I'll dig up links in BT if you like)