I just got robbed

[Louis VI the Fat]

1 - Sorry about the phone, I'm glad to hear you are alright.

2 - I was mugged once, by some filthy character with an injection needle. I decided it wasn't worth risking HIV over twenty euros. No shame in that.

3 - All of the below is meant with the best of intentions:
You seriously need to man up. What's this nonsense about you worrying whether this guy knows where you live? There's only a blunt way to say this, so here goes: Husar, you're a wuss and you need to grow up or you're going to get bullied all of your life.
This useless pest NEEDS to know where you live, so he can avoid going anywhere near it for the rest of his life lest you bash his bloody skull in with the nearest blunt object you can find. He should be avoiding you from now on, not the other way round. We're not talking about a six man gang with guns here, eh? It is the junk who ought to worry about you two ever meeting again, not you. You need to look forward to that, because you're not going to be caught offguard again. You're prepared for him.

Also, and this took me ages to understand too - you need to tell somebody like that to off straight away. The guy was testing his luck, was testing you out. Bit by bit he discovered he could push you around, then took advantage of it once he understood he could get away with anything. You shall have to work on that. For starters three points:
If you say that you are making the call, then you are making the call and he can not smoothtalk/wriggle the phone out of your hand. It should've ended right there.
Never negotiate, and never let any line you've set be crossed, or they discover you can be pushed around.
You tell him once to give your ****** phone back, and then you take it. If you are not willing or capable of taking it back, then you shouldn't hand it over in the first place.

[Greyblades]

1 - Sorry about the phone.....then you shouldn't hand it over in the first place.

I have to disagree, unless husar was in or near a group of people I cant help but think that advice is more likely to get him killed than anything else. Anyone stupid enough to use a disease to get a poxy mobile telephone isnt going to be intimidated by telling them to frack off unless you happen to be built like a brick latrine or are in a group. And if that someone is willing to go to that amount of force over a harsh tone god knows what he'd do when he panics over a failing mugging.

[Crazed Rabbit]

I must disagree with you Greyblades. Telling someone, loudly and with confidence, to *go elsewhere* will let them know you're not going to be pushed around. They won't push it further, they'll look for an easier mark.

CR

[Greyblades]

That seems more likely to startle a mugger into attacking than making them run screaming. Not to mention having the confidence to tell someone off is kinda hard when he's the one with the weapon.

[Louis VI the Fat]

I have to disagree, unless husar was in or near a group of people I cant help but think that advice is more likely to get him killed than anything else. Anyone stupid enough to use a disease to get a poxy mobile telephone isnt going to be intimidated by telling them to frack off unless you happen to be built like a brick latrine or are in a group. And if that someone is willing to go to that amount of force over a harsh tone god knows what he'd do when he panics over a failing mugging.

It is not about physical strenght. I think two twelve year old girls could easily beat me up. I've never been in the least bit interested in knowing how to fight, or in any weapon whatsoever.

It is about attitude. In many crimes, victims choose themselves. Sometimes, to further complicate matters, by being too provocative in telling somebody off. A mistake that more than once caused me a good fright - I do not always find it in me to conceal my contempt for scum. Fortunately I am quite swift and understand the art of dissapearing in a crowd.

Then there is the complication that one wishes to be a kind, well-mannered citizen, willing to help others out. One should not be aggressive and rude oneself in the public sphere out of retaliation, or as a social protection. This is sadly the real cost of crime. The cost tonight is not the telephone, it is that a decent and kind man like Husar learns he can not be nice and decent. Which is a tragedy.

That seems more likely to startle a mugger into attacking than making them run screaming. Not to mention having the confidence to tell someone off is kinda hard when he's the one with the weapon.

The weapon was only pulled near the end. It wasn't even necesary, Husar had already been pushed around/strongarmed/intimidated/made advantage of.

In this case, a stern 'no' would've been best. No explanations are required, it's your phone, you do not have to excuse yourself to anybody. If you are willing to make a call for somebody, then a stern 'no' it should be when they try to take over the phone. Again no explanations or negotiations. ('Just one minute, I'll stay right here...'. Then they slowly move away, and discover they get away with that, and so they understand they can keep the phone for more than a minute too)

[Lemur]

I think two twelve year old girls could easily beat me up.

If I believed in siggies, this would go in. Immediately.

[miotas]

It's an orgah crime wave! Some made off with my wallet and withdrew $800 before I could have my accounts put on hold. Now I'm gonna have to take the morning off work tomorrow to get my licence and cards replaced and fill in an incident report with the bank so I can get my money back. To top it all off I was going to go shopping this afternoon so now all I've got to eat until I get new cards is rice and stale bread.

[al Roumi]

Sorry Husar, some drunk guy and his 3 mates tried to mug me for a (fake) leather jacket once. It shook me up a fair bit because it did get violent (i resisted when 1 guy was drunkenly swinging at me (sober) but 3 was a different proposal). Seems an absurd event now -with distance and time, but there's no denying it's deeply unsettling. Louis is right that you shouldn't be the one running scared but you also did the right thing in not risking yourself.

The difficult thing in the long run is that i'd find it harder to help soemone out if they asked for it. You just have to help them in a way that is safe for you. You could do with some righteous indignation, this guy ed you over and you are not going to let that happen again!

[Vladimir]

It could have been worse. You could of got shot.





I hope you feel better soon but I’m glad you feel bad right now.

That cell phone tactic seems to be international. As I was leaving school one night a black guy and his girlfriend (sorry people, it was DC and that’s how it goes) approached me. The guy asked the same question about phoning a friend. I was in an adventurous (and stupid) mood and decided to help him call two friends; none of them answered.

Now, this was on the heals of someone else getting robbed at the same location. A good guy, but short, white, somewhat submissive, and terribly out of shape. So, yea, I basically knew what could happen. Fortunately, I was ahead of them (and a head above them) and know how to act in those situations.

Usually I would just lie and say it’s being charged at home; a long way away…but was in one of those moods where God should have taught me a little humility. Oh, and the HIV virus dies once it’s desiccated. So in less the guy would have stabbed himself first then stabbed you it would have been fine. You could have confronted him with that knowledge to distract him long enough to recover your phone. It doesn’t matter if it’s true as long as it gives you a window of opportunity.

Don’t be nice to people; be good to people.

[Husar]

You seriously need to man up. What's this nonsense about you worrying whether this guy knows where you live? There's only a blunt way to say this, so here goes: Husar, you're a wuss and you need to grow up or you're going to get bullied all of your life.
This useless pest NEEDS to know where you live, so he can avoid going anywhere near it for the rest of his life lest you bash his bloody skull in with the nearest blunt object you can find. He should be avoiding you from now on, not the other way round. We're not talking about a six man gang with guns here, eh? It is the junk who ought to worry about you two ever meeting again, not you. You need to look forward to that, because you're not going to be caught offguard again. You're prepared for him.

Also, and this took me ages to understand too - you need to tell somebody like that to off straight away. The guy was testing his luck, was testing you out. Bit by bit he discovered he could push you around, then took advantage of it once he understood he could get away with anything. You shall have to work on that. For starters three points:
If you say that you are making the call, then you are making the call and he can not smoothtalk/wriggle the phone out of your hand. It should've ended right there.
Never negotiate, and never let any line you've set be crossed, or they discover you can be pushed around.
You tell him once to give your ****** phone back, and then you take it. If you are not willing or capable of taking it back, then you shouldn't hand it over in the first place.

I WAS willing and I WOULD have beaten him up, there are two things to consider though:

1. With all the rules and laws I'm not very keen to beat anyone up, this I consider a last resort, it never happened because he drew the needle.

2. he could have stabbed me with the needle while fighting, of course I couldn't have known that, but afterwards it's too late, he seemed VERY confident once he had his needle which was exactly why I decided to break it off there and call the police

And again, the reason I didn't go and tell him that he couldn't call was that, or at least so I understood him, he wanted to call from my cell or landline, so if I had gone the 30 meters to my door instead I would have expected him to follow me and beg me to come in, maybe even do what he did anyway and draw the needle, the door is in a dark corner as well. I decided giving him my cellphone couldn't end up worse than showing him straight away where my landline (and many other things) is, that may sound weird considering I didn't consider him a threat at that point (precisely because he was physically weaker) but I don't like to show everyone where exactly I live usually, maybe this lead to a wrong decision, maybe I prevented worse.

The whole lieing straight to your teeth is fine, I get it, but it is not my nature, my nature and usual first reaction is to tell the truth, or maybe it's just my upbringing, but it is how I am, I wouldn't take pride in being a good liar but maybe I need to learn a bit in that regard, I certainly won't be as willing the next time.