You don't need to talk to anyone. If the king does not grant you a fief you asked for then you get this message that he's providing you with a monetary compensation instead, and you get options to accept the compensation or refuse the compensation (uncertain about this one), or ignore the king's will altogether and take the fief you want and leave the faction. It all happens automatically, and all you can do is keep asking for fiefs, until finally you are refused one.
If you have low renown and relation with the king, it should happen quite quickly, for a high level character it takes time. In my game for instance I managed to get two castles and two cities before I was refused the third city.
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