Capo di Tutti Capi IV [Concluded]

[GamezRule]

And cowbell! :D

[Askthepizzaguy]

2400 Plaza del Universo
Radio City building, Suite 501
Fatlington, New Jersey











Hold the Phone! with Saucy Slice




"Welcome back. We finally have the interview I promised for your listening enjoyment. Is he on the phone? Okay, I'll take the call in here, Frankie.
Yes, hello, you're on the air with DJ Slice. Is this mister Pentangeli?"

"Who's askin'? I'm just a regular guy, who happens to run a plumbing service."

"Radio listeners, mister Pentangeli is the general manager of Pentangeli's Plumbing, one of the many fine and respected legitimate businessmen in Fatlington, here to discuss the employment situation"

"Yeah, what you said."

"How's the economy, are you able to take on new hires, even with the crime wave hurting sales?"

"We're always hiring. We just need guys who can get the job done."
"I'm not impressed with this so-called crime wave, though."
"Seems like just a bunch of wannabes and chancers."

"So tell me more about the plumbing business. You fix things that need fixing? Plug up leaks?"

"I've plugged a few in my time."
"And there's no problem the Pentangelis can't fix."
"Shame so many Fatlings are wasting their time with less professional services."

"You're saying you're a first class operation?"

"Yeah, that's what I said. Are you deaf? You need to clean out your friggin ears."

"No sir mister Pentangeli, just trying to hear what your thoughts are about the competition"

"What competition?"

"I understand the Barzini and the Tataglia also have a um... plumbing service."

"Those chumps don't have a clue. Not much evidence of their work, that I can see."
"Too many of their guys taking naps on the job. Perhaps they should be shown the door."

"Are you saying your operation can handle the big jobs and the small jobs? There's nothing you can't handle?"

"We can handle anyone that needs handling. Who told you otherwise? The Stracchi?
"Bunch of filthy bums. No honour with them. No sense of tradition."

"Tradition, mister Pentangeli? I had no idea the plumbing business was so involved."

"Yeah. The plumbing business..."
"It's a long tradition."
"Sacred."
"But I don't like to talk about it."
"Not like the Cunnio...
"Don't know when to shut up."
"Gonna laugh when they get shut up for good."

"What would you like to talk about? Say speaking of jobs, I need to ask you a favor. Last night was burrito night at the station and now all the toilets are backed up. Can you fix it for me?"

"You want me to fix your toilet? What are you, stupid? I've ended men for lesser insults. Do you want to go on a trip somewhere and never come back, kid?"

"I thought you were a plumber..."

"Plumber? What plumber? Oh, oh right, that. Yeah, I'll send a guy with a wrench. He'll fix you good."

"Thank you very much mister Pentangeli. Do you have any parting words for the Barzini or the Corleones?"

"Yeah, they can all go fornicate with their mothers, those sewer dwelling rats. They've lost their touch, they couldn't whack a beach ball with a tennis racket. They couldn't rob a lunch box. They couldn't hit the ground if it weren't for the Earth's gravitational pull. They're a bunch of know-nothing mooks. They're nobodies. I want them all dead. I want their families dead. I want their houses burnt to the ground, and I want to [BLEEP] on their ashes and feed 'em to their dogs."

"That was Mister Spatafore Pentangeli, general manager of Pentangeli's Plumbing. They can be reached at the following address. We'll be right back after these messages."









If you want to request a song or an interview, dial 1-855-DJ-SLICE. He'll serve your ears something hot and fresh in thirty minutes or less. "Legitimate businessmen", please contact us anonymously via email to set up a phone interview, to discuss the unemployment situation on the air.

[Johhog]

Am I even still alive?

[Askthepizzaguy]

Am I even still alive?

Let me check your pulse. Hold steady, this will only hurt for a second.

[fubbleskag]

I've somehow managed to end up the organizer of a few small vig/protection groups and currently have a small number of spares available for tonight; pm me if you need a body or two to fill in your own needs, first come first serve.

[Ishmael]

I approve of the write-up. It reminds me of the Monty Python 'Self Defence Against Fruit' sketch . Just a (very) minor quibble - as a Communist, shouldn't I be atheistic?

[GeneralHankerchief]

Didn't know who was getting lynched when I sent the writeup in. Sorry.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I've somehow managed to end up the organizer of a few small vig/protection groups and currently have a small number of spares available for tonight; pm me if you need a body or two to fill in your own needs, first come first serve.

I'm going to retire and this guy can take my place. It's about time!

[Ishmael]

Didn't know who was getting lynched when I sent the writeup in. Sorry.

Don't worry GH, it was a capital job (ha ha...okay, I'll stop now).

[B-Wing]

Sorry for the inactivity! I've been out of town the whole weekend without good internet access. Much catching up to do.

[El Barto]

You forgot to count my non-screwed-up vote for Ishmael, and even then, 26 people voted for him by my count.

But the timer expired about 10 hours ago IIRC…

Sorry I'm late gang.

Vote: Myrddraal

Can someone fill me in on what's happening? I haven't had a chance to read this thread at all.

Basically Ishmael was bandwaggoned. I hope your crystal ball is clear and allows reception.

You posted that one hour after the update! You can't be serious.

I approve of the write-up. It reminds me of the Monty Python 'Self Defence Against Fruit' sketch . Just a (very) minor quibble - as a Communist, shouldn't I be atheistic?

Given that the Communist Party of China is trying to determine where people should reincarnate, no.

[Visor]

Careful, he's god a good bite, ceiling cat bless his little teeth.

Basically Ishmael was bandwaggoned. I hope your crystal ball is clear and allows reception.

You posted that one hour after the update! You can't be serious.

He isn't.

[Askthepizzaguy]

See, when I tell obvious jokes and people still don't get that I'm joking, that concludes my thesis on "you cannot read me worth a dang without a scanner."

I now have a Ph.D in Poker Faceology.

[El Barto]

Careful, he doesn't like people bowing!

He isn't.

He's Pizza.

See, when I tell obvious jokes and people still don't get that I'm joking, that concludes my thesis on "you cannot read me worth a dang without a scanner."

I now have a Ph.D in Poker Faceology.

By which university? Have you presented this before the proper authorities? Who's your thesis director? Where are your research materials? Sheesh, never claim to be a researcher like this, Pizzadude.

[Montmorency]

Ha! Come off it, Pizza, I know exactly what you're up to.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Ha! Come off it, Pizza, I know exactly what you're up to.

Yes Don Montmorenci.

Who is to be whacked tonight?

[El Barto]

Actually, the 'Mon' means 'Monsignor' Morency and he's aprt of the Vatican Mafia.

[Askthepizzaguy]

The Illuminati again! Dang you, Monty! You and all your mason buddies!

*shakes Fist of Defiance*

[TheLastDays]

Wait, I thought he was a Nazi

[Askthepizzaguy]

Wait, I thought he was a Nazi

It's worse than we feared. He's a member of the Bavarian Illuminati Commie-Nazis. Nasty breed, those.

Armed with chocolate, and creme pies, and chocolate-covered pie launchers, they preach the elitist concepts of national supremacy, wealth, corporate governance, exceptionalism, as well as the egalitarian principles of wealth redistribution, universal healthcare, and abolishing possession and governance altogether. Then they hold meetings where initiates are forced to endure bare bottom spankings while wearing brown AND red uniforms.

Their symbol is the all-seeing hammer and swastisicle.

[Yaropolk]

I'm curious - does Sasaki's thing indicate a roleblocking?

Also, select: GH. Too easy.

EDIT: Wait, what Nazi situation? Can somebody please fill me in here?

I have been extremely busy IRL - fudged up Monty's vig on 2nd night, and haven't had enough free time to organize anything since. Just sending in my orders with groups other people organize like a good little sheep. Anyway - here is what I meant by the Nazi comment. See for yourself. I didn't realize I was 2nd place for lynch yesterday until I came back to read the thread today. In case I end up as lynchbait later one due to not paying attention or whatever, here is the PM conversation I had with Monty. He contacted me first, probably due to something I said in thread:

Strength through Joy, brother?

I googled that phrase and came up with this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strength_Through_Joy

"Kraft durch Freude (German for Strength through Joy, abbreviated KdF) was a large state-controlled leisure organization in Nazi Germany.[1] It was a part of the German Labour Front (Deutsche Arbeitsfront, DAF), the national German labour organization at that time. Set up as a tool to promote the advantages of National Socialism to the people, it soon became the world's largest tourism operator of the 1930s"

revs his Volkswagen

At this point Xenoneb posted in thread that people who want to participate in vig or defense groups should contact him.

Get a load of this Xenon fella, he must think he's the Organizer of Victory or something. Such indiscriminate Community Outreach might lead to unpleasant consequences for the man - or the Town. And I hear some might be marching to a different beat altogether - the Center Beat. Dig?

I do not dig what the Center beat is, so I try to respond without giving this away.

How do you want to do this?

Monty catches on and cuts me off, although I don't know what the deal with the wedding is. Am I invited? Will there be cake?

You trouble me. There will be a wedding before long.

I failed a vig attempt on Monty at this point and reveal so in thread. Same day he PMs me:

Oh lol. So that's why you were acting so strange. But I'm not actually a Nazi in this game. I just enjoy inappropriately referencing Nazism IRL.
I contacted you because I was one of like two people who supported your election bid D1. I thought maybe it would give me some sort of leverage. Good will, at least.
What a lol. And here I'd even asked a detective to investigate you for N3. Perhaps you'd like me to call that off?

Make of that what you will. I would prefer to get rid of Monty, but by the same token I don't have the time to organize a succesfull hit.

[Visor]

Not enough to be worth a kill in my opinion.

[sturmhauke]

What is with everyone screwing around with lolcommies and lolnazis and trollface? This is serious, we have a game to win here! I r serius kat.

[Diamondeye]

I now have a Ph.D in Poker Faceology.

Cue the music...

[Askthepizzaguy]

Cue the music...

Ey! I am the DJ around here! I will have order! I will have justice! I will have perfection! No one plays unauthorized musics. Don't encroach on my gig, seriously, I think it's one of the more creative things I've done in mafia and for someone to rip me off would be not on.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Hey Saucy

That Pentageli freakazoid is a fake and a fraud. He couldn’t “fix” his way out of a paper bag if you gave him a half hour and the pair of scissors. Probably cut his own toes off or something. Guy ain’t even from Brooklyn, Saucy, he’s from Peoria. He was in marching band, for Christ’s sake, played the tuba. I ask you, is that someone you want to rely on when your plumbing gets backed up, a tuba player?

Don’t let him tell you otherwise, try to talk about the old Brooklyn crowd, I got this straight off his little sister, right before I knocked her up. What a sweet piece of that was. Too bad she looks like her Mama now.

Where was I. Oh yeah. You want a job done right, you go to the professionals. Corleone Hauling and Associated Building Trades. We get it done.

Saucy, you gotta find a better class of associates. Some of these guys you been hanging around with ain’t too good for your health, if you know what I’m saying. Don’t put that part on the air.

So I got a letter in my mailbox from a "Babyface" Corleone

Seems like the Pentangeli interview is causing a stir among the Corleones. Not sure if that's just the tip of the iceberg or not.

[Diamondeye]

Ey! I am the DJ around here! I will have order! I will have justice! I will have perfection! No one plays unauthorized musics. Don't encroach on my gig, seriously, I think it's one of the more creative things I've done in mafia and for someone to rip me off would be not on.

You need to start playing the songs I suggest then. Where's the Ke$ha? The Britney? GaGa? Avril? And you call yourself a DJ?

[Seamus Fermanagh]

There has been a request for an extension. Since I have been having phone problems myself and lost about half my writing time, this is now being approved. 1100 Eastern Tomorrow.

[Cahoma]

Where's the Pokemon songs I've been requesting!?

[Askthepizzaguy]

To be clear, I'll play a few songs every day, but I won't spam up the thread, and;

If you request a pokemon song that you and maybe one other person might enjoy, and others suggest a better song, I'll play that one.

Diamondeye's choices are less controversial, but still not to everyone's taste. As such I played one of his.