Hey, nobody is hosting this Large Mafia [Concluded]

[robbiecon]

I shall return for the next phase. Please don't replace me.

[Zack]

This was stupid.

Please continue posting helpful posts like this. They really contribute a lot to helping find scum and advancing the town's cause.

[Andres]

What kills me the most about all of this is that my defense for this was actually already in the thread before any of you actually voted me for it.

I originally posted "Voting closed" as a joking way to set up what I thought would be a funny in-universe defense - ATPG, the actual host, naturally ignores my "official" post, which clears me of any wrongdoing. As expected, one of you took the bait...



...to which I immediately responded with the infallible logic that would clear me forever:



That was it. The joke was already over. It had - I thought - just been explained in full. Everybody could have a nice little chuckle about my cunning sense of humor and then get on with their mafia-lives.

Evidently not.

I guess I need to spell out the exact purpose of every joke post I make in the future.

Lesson learned.

Well, if it makes you feel more comfortable, I find this entire thing pretty hilarious

Allthough you probably didn't intend it to end like this, you reached your goal: making your audience laugh

This kind of stuff is what makes playing mafia fun.

[Beskar]

General Handkerchief got lynched the only time I forgot to vote for him, trust that.

[Kagemusha]

Do you think you're funny, funny man?

We don't like funny men around here.

mafia

[Askthepizzaguy]

DaveShaq was the greatest B-ball player the world had ever known, so far as he was aware. Nobody could dunk on him. Nobody ever even tried. Nobody could out-dribble him. Heck, he even had a great passing game, every single ball he passed, he caught.

DaveShaq was the best. The way he dunked on that kiddie basketball hoop he had since he was seven, was awe-inspiring. He didn't even have to jump anymore, just sort of drop it in the basket. He was the Harlem Globetrotter of his own driveway. He knew the way he could spin the ball on his index finger for almost a full second would get him a college scholarship and a first-class ticket to the NBA. He'd have his pick of teams, and be the first one to win a championship for every team in every division. He would go down in history as a scholar and a gentleman, but first and foremost, a basketball God. He knew this to be true, with every fiber of his being.

He really didn't have time to host This Mafia. But, as fate would have it, he did have time to play a game of hoops.

"You got real potential, kid. How about I show you a few things about the game, maybe you could be a champion someday."

DaveShaq scoffed. "Get lost, weirdo. You couldn't possibly hope to teach me anything. I am for basketball what Chuck Norris is to everything."

The gangster persisted. "If you think you're that good, how about you challenge me to a game. Show me what you got."

DaveShaq was still unimpressed. "I think you better step off, son. You don't want none of this. What I've got is game, and what you've got is lame and shame."

The gangster wasn't deterred by his trash talk. "I've shot more people than you've shot baskets. I've buried more deadbeats than you've buried shots from half court. I've dated more models than you've fantasized about cheerleaders. I was dribbling on the court while you were still dribbling on your bib and soiling yourself. I ain't your son, and I ain't your father. But I am your worst nightmare. Now are you going to put your reputation on the line, or are you nothing more than a big mouth and a full diaper?"

DaveShaq knew it was time to go. "Do you think you can dunk on me? I will run so many circles around your old and useless body that you'll be begging for squares, and praying for triangles. Maybe even holding seances for a parallelogram."

The gangster just grinned. "You do know of course, that a square is a parallelogram."

DaveShaq just narrowed his eyes.

The gangster continued. "You see, squares are simply parallelograms with four sides of equal length and four angles of equal size, whereas rhomboids are quadrilaterals whose opposite sides are parallel and adjacent sides are unequal, and whose angles are not right angles. The term parallelogram is actually inclusive of squares and rectangles, and rhombuses or rhombi are also known as equilateral quadrilaterals which are also parallelograms. Didn't you ever study Euclidean Geometry?"

"I have a Master's degree in Euclidean Geometry. I was just testing you."

"Really? Because you sound like you don't know a square from a square root. Did you use to ride the short rhombus to school? Where did you get your degree, at clown college?"

"When I'm done shaming you on the court, you'll wish you were back in kindergarten eating paste and snorting glitter. I just want to warn you beforehand, just like in kindergarten, sometimes someone better than you will knock you to the ground and take away your ball, and this time you can't cry for the teacher to step in and rescue you. When you're on my court, I am the teacher, and you are wimpy kid who sucks his thumb and wishes it was nap time."

"Does that even make sense?"

"YOUR MOM makes sense!"

"Ok, that one made even less sense."

"YOUR MOM makes even less sense!"

"Really? My mom again?"

"Well..... your Dad makes no sense."

"What?"

"Huh?"

"I'm lost, who is even talking here. You're DaveShaq, right?"

"Yeah... I think."

"What happened? We had some heat going and it just kind of fizzled. What's with the anticlimactic trash-talking?"

"I dunno, maybe the host ran out of ideas."

"Or maybe YOUR MOM ran out of ideas."

"BURN!"

And so they settled it on the court, just as they had planned. And the gangster scored 219 points after only 10 minutes of play.

DaveShaq ran home crying, he got beat so bad.

Except he forgot where he lived, so he ran home to someone else's house, and got shot for trespassing.

Later, he would star in a video game called DaveShaq-fu, and the even worse movie, DaveSha-zaam.

BSmith bought a copy of it, and laughed himself to death because of how ridiculously awful it was.

No, I'm just kidding about that. Someone dropped a refrigerator on him... or something. It's not that important, really. Why are you still reading this?







Possibly alive enough to host this game: [23/33]

Andres
Arjos
atheotes
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
CountArach
Csargo
Diana Abnoba
Double A
Edse
Greyblades
Ishmael
issaikhaan
Jarema
Kagemusha
LazyMcCrow
Pharaoh Ramese II
rickinator9
Riedquat
Robbiecon
SalmonSoil
Tiaexz
White_Eyes:D
Zaccino

Rather a bit too dead to host this game: [10/33]

Askthepizzaguy
Seon
Believer
Edse
Visorslash
Nightbringer
Populus Romanus
GeneralHankerchief
DaveShaq
Bsmith




BEGIN DAY FOUR

[LazyMcCrow]

High-larious

[DaveShack]

Very nice.

[Jarema]

vote: SalmonSoil

[Beskar]

Vote: Issaikhaan

For one of my favourite game hosts.

[Ishmael]

Brilliant write-up ATPG!

Also, vote: Pharaoh Ramese II. Anybody home?

[Jarema]

Actually, good idea. I do not know him, but I like him to defend a little
unvote; vote: Pharaoh Ramese II

[seireikhaan]

Vote: Issaikhaan

For one of my favourite game hosts.

Aww, you're a sweetie. But I'm not running things anymore, so you don't need to suck up anymore.

Vote: Diana

Because the bandwagon yesterday was silly and I object to the principle of why it happened and therefore I am voting Diana and that's the end of it. You all should vote for Diana, too.

[White_eyes:D]

Diana stuck her neck out too much on the GH lynch for me to think she is mafia. Going to go with a earlier suspect. Vote:rickinator9

[Zack]

Vote: Kagemusha

[Chaotix]

Vote: Diana

khaan outlined it perfectly. There's just no way she really thought GH was guilty based on that post.

[Diana Abnoba]

Vote: Diana

Because the bandwagon yesterday was silly and I object to the principle of why it happened and therefore I am voting Diana and that's the end of it. You all should vote for Diana, too.

Really, when you were on that bandwagon, and voted GH also. The last to vote for him on that bandwagon IIRC, and BTW, I wasn't the one that started that bandwagon to begin with. If you objected to the principle of the bandwagon so much, why my friend were you the last one on it?

Vote: issaikhaan Die scummy scum scum

[CountArach]

Vote: Diana

The whole GH bandwagon thing followed by a clearly defensive vote.

[Beskar]

Aww, you're a sweetie. But I'm not running things anymore, so you don't need to suck up anymore.

How dare you?! Insinuating I am brown-nosing, I am going to night ki-I mean, I will get my revenge!

[GeneralHankerchief]

Really, when you were on that bandwagon, and voted GH also. The last to vote for him on that bandwagon IIRC, and BTW, I wasn't the one that started that bandwagon to begin with. If you objected to the principle of the bandwagon so much, why my friend were you the last one on it?

Vote: issaikhaan Die scummy scum scum

I won't comment on your implication that your three choices for scum (myself, Chaotix, and khaan) linked themselves together in an extremely obvious fashion in the second and third days, and that you can find no better option to vote. Instead, I'll limit myself to pointing out that Pizza made an error in the tallying and that khaan never actually voted for me. As a matter of fact, he voted for you.

Vote: Diana

For voting for GH.

I eagerly await your new theory for why he is scum that will fit into your overall narrative now that this latest reasoning has been disproven.

[Jarema]

Really, when you were on that bandwagon, and voted GH also. The last to vote for him on that bandwagon IIRC, and BTW, I wasn't the one that started that bandwagon to begin with. If you objected to the principle of the bandwagon so much, why my friend were you the last one on it?

Vote: issaikhaan Die scummy scum scum

Vote: Diana

The whole GH bandwagon thing followed by a clearly defensive vote.

B ut you know what? She has a good point there.

EDIT: Aahh I didnt see post right above mine...

[seireikhaan]

Really, when you were on that bandwagon, and voted GH also. The last to vote for him on that bandwagon IIRC, and BTW, I wasn't the one that started that bandwagon to begin with. If you objected to the principle of the bandwagon so much, why my friend were you the last one on it?

Vote: issaikhaan Die scummy scum scum

Are you kidding me? I voted for you, the same as this round, for the same reason as this round. The whole thing was really stupid. And now you're trying to pin me on that same bandwagon? I made two posts that round. One was voting for you, the other fos'ing andres. I'm not totally sure how you construed that as me voting for GH. Sounds like an awfully desperate mafia ploy to keep themself alive.

[LazyMcCrow]

This whole episode is an unfortunate distraction from the main event which should be the lynching of both Andres & Zaccino.
Vote: Andres

[Arjos]

Vote: atheotes

Back to wagoners hunting...

[robbiecon]

Vote: rickinator9, I voted him earlier on (as did White eyes evidently).

[Zack]

Are you kidding me? I voted for you, the same as this round, for the same reason as this round. The whole thing was really stupid. And now you're trying to pin me on that same bandwagon? I made two posts that round. One was voting for you, the other fos'ing andres. I'm not totally sure how you construed that as me voting for GH. Sounds like an awfully desperate mafia ploy to keep themself alive.

ATPG listed you as voting for GH in the tally. No need to get so defensive.

Besides, I think calling the town "stupid" is scummier than making a questionable case on someone who might have been innocent. That's really what confuses me. How can you know it was a "stupid" lynch unless you're mafia? Last I checked, alignment isn't revealed in this game. For all we know, GH was mafia. Unlikely, but the possibility shouldn't be ruled ou simply because the case against him was deemed "stupid".

[SalmonSoil]

Hmmm. Now I feel bad about that lynch.

Especially because now I don't know where to throw my vote...

maybe vote: Issaikhaan, because although the bandwagon was questionable it was not questionable enough to lynch its main proponent over.

[Zack]

Everyone should take a closer look at CountArach.

Unvote, Vote: Seon

You weren't told?

Basically this is the reason I would argue for his lynching. There is a minute chance that it was a terrible slip-up and that is better than a random lynch IMO.

He votes for Seon for an obvious joke post, then goes on to criticize anyone who votes someone for a joke post as "stupid".

It is Org tradition to bold the name of another member, so it would get confusing without the "Vote:" part.

This bandwagon is stupid. Vote: Arjos, for this post:

Keep in mind that this post is the one that started the current bandwagon and you might care to re-evaluate whether it is worth killing Visorslash.

It was a better reason than people have for voting for Visorslash and I was fishing for a response from Arjos as much as anything. It also served to get a bit more attention that served to remind everyone why they were lynching Visor. At this point all our voting is still completely random so really there was never going to be any good reasoning behind a vote.

If I had truly wanted to vote for someone to deflect votes away from Visor or someone else I could have just voted for anyone who was bandwagoning him and that would have been valid enough. If I had wanted to keep a low profile I would have just added to the bandwagon. Of course that is WIFOM.

He keeps calling bandwagons "stupid", yet he defends his own voting by saying "At this point all our voting is still completely random so really there was never going to be any good reasoning behind a vote."

Vote: Nightbringer

Clearly a joke.

Voted for Seon making a joke. Now voting for anyone who accuses someone of joke-making.

Urgh. True. This is what I get for a lack of time available.

Unvote; Vote: Diana

Another person who has been hung up on these 'joke' posts, which incidentally I think should be cut out because they are clearly distracting.

And now he goes on to relentlessly hunt Diana for voting someone for a joke post, which CA himself has done. To make it even better, in the same sentence right here he even admits the joke posts are distracting and should be cut out. So tell me, CountArach -- if you've voted people for making obvious joke posts, and joke posts "are clearly distracting" and "should be cut out," then why are you so relentlessly voting Diana for being "hung up on these 'joke' posts"?

Unvote, Vote: CountArach

[Zack]

Bah, this site doesn't allow ninja edits.

Unvote, Vote: CountArach

[Zack]

Kagemusha also deserves a look.

Vote: Salmonsoil I think he is mafia. He is doing just enough to not to get noticed, while doing enough not to be counted as lurker. The case against GH ​is absurd. There is no way he would give himself out so easily as mafia.

He accuses Salmonsoil for "doing just enough to not to get noticed, while doing enough not to be counted as lurker," exactly what Kagemusha himself has been doing.

This was stupid.

He calls the bandwagon against GH "stupid" and "absurd". Personally, I would like to know which brilliant and incredibly reasonable bandwagons Kagemusha has been a part of... that's right, none, just a bunch of silly and absurd ones. And I don't like it when people call the town "stupid," it rubs me the wrong way; it does nothing to help, and it's only purpose is to tell the world "Look at me, I'm smarter than those other guys because I didn't do that stupid thing like everyone else did and everyone knows townies are smart and never do anything stupid, right?". In other words, it's a pointless post designed to make the creator look better. And no one likes making pointless posts that make themselves look better than mafia.