Re: Pirate Ninja Robot Zombie Mafia IN SPACE [IN PLAY]
IT’S NOT GOING TO STOP BEING DAY 1
[SLEEP CYCLE 2]
The capture of the Pirate Ninja Robot Zombie had left most of the crew of the Galactic Chutzpah in high spirits. Sure, the whole part where they all almost died was a little bit nerve-wracking, but after that was over and the Space Cadets had finished running around and screaming, they felt they were in a pretty good position. Surely the presence of that creature explained all the killings going on. Surely it would be smooth sailing from here to the Planet of the GIANT SPACE WHALES.
DaveShack, for one, was sleeping quite peacefully. He had no sort of preoccupation or disorder whatsoever that prevented him from sleeping and put him in a vulnerable position out in the middle of a dark ship with no one else around. In fact, being only a Space Cadet, he shared a room with three other crew members, so if anything, he was safer even while sleeping.
That sleep cycle, he had been having a particularly vivid dream. There were a bunch of dinosaurs and sharks, and they all had laser guns, and they were having an awesome battle in the middle of space. It was typical for DaveShack to have dreams that took place in space. Space was his favorite thing in the whole universe, and it was a good thing, too, because the universe was mostly made up of space. So whenever space turned up in one of his dreams, he made special note of it that it might be important to him, so he should remember that. DaveShack didn’t really know what to make of laser-wielding dinosaurs and sharks, though.
And that was the last dream-thought that DaveShack ever had. A poison dart in his neck stopped his heart, and he died painlessly in his sleep. The dark figure vanished from the room as silently as it had entered, waking none of the other crew members.
The Ninja silently congratulated himself on a job well done. He hadn’t flipped out or anything this time. Then he realized that he had no reason for leaving the other three crew members in that room alive, and he could have taken them out just as easily. The Ninja sighed. It seemed there would be much flipping out to do after all, once he got back to the privacy of his own quarters.
---
The Robot activated his cloaking device, so as to roam the halls of the Galactic Chutzpah unseen. This actually didn’t help to hide him at all, because every step he took still made a heavy clanking sound on the metal floor. However, he knew that the Space Cadets on this ship were none too bright, so he wasn’t that worried. They didn’t even know multivariable calculus, based on his conversations with them. How could they possibly find him out?
The Robot stopped outside his destination door. A small crew room, designed to hold four Space Cadets. He could kill all four of them quite easily, but he was sure to make a racket in doing so. More likely than not, one would be able to sound an alarm before a guided missile was able to give him a dramatic face lift.
So the Robot had to use cunning for this one. Cunning capable of only an artificial intelligence.
He knocked on the door. A loud metal clanging rang throughout the hall, and as the Robot assumed, the room within, rousing all the crew members inside from their slumber. Using his acute auditory sensors, he heard the four of them arguing from within about which one of them should answer the door. Finally, it seemed one of them had lost the argument, and grumpily trudged over to the door and opened it.
This unlucky individual happened to be Arjos. Since the Robot’s cloaking device was still activated, Arjos saw nothing but an empty hallway when he looked out. He stood there groggily wiping the sleep from his eyes for a second or two, and was about to turn around and close the door.
Then a guided missile appeared out of nowhere and exploded in his face.
The Robot managed to escape before the other crew members had even discerned what had happened
---
Seon was not sleeping like the rest of the crew. If there were Ninjas around, he had best be on guard.
The way he saw it, he could defend himself better awake than he could asleep. And more than that, he could defend himself better drunk than sober.
Wait… that can’t be right. No, it was the other way around. He definitely was able to defend himself better sober than drunk. Well, too late now. That ship had sailed. If only he had remembered that vital bit of information before he headed down to the empty Space Bar for a bottle of his favorite Nebulon-Three Blue Sake.
Seon spun around on his stool when he heard the door to the bar open. From the looks of it, there was nothing the bar could help this newcomer with, at least not until he took a nap and was able to walk without stumbling. He had a rather funny looking hat and was carrying an empty bottle. Rum, from the looks of it. The man took one look at Seon and then gestured to a colorful bird perched on his shoulder.
“Yaharrr! Why look at this, Polly, it seems we have a new drinking companion!”
Then he hurled the empty bottle at Seon’s face.
SAMURAI VS PIRATE!!!
Seon ducked and the bottle narrowly missed him, sailing over his head to smash against the wall behind the bar. He stumbled as he got to his feet, but was immensely relieved to find he had remembered to bring his sword with him.
“Oho! Be careful with that thing there, wouldn’t want to poke your eye out. Then you’d look like me! Har har harrrr!”
Seon bristled under the slight to his skill. He was drunk, and he would brook no insult with this laughing fool.
“You dare insult my honor?”
“Wh-”
“HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”
Before the Pirate could reply, Seon loosed a blood-curdling war-cry and charged straight for him. In response, the Pirate clumsily swung up his broadsword to block the attack. Luckily for him, Seon’s stroke was just as clumsy and bounced off the blade, throwing the Samurai off-balance.
The Pirate pressed the attack, swinging his blade in wide, sloppy arcs. Ordinarily, they would be easy for Seon to avoid, but in the state he was in it took all of his effort to block or dodge out of the way in time. After a few strokes the Samurai managed to throw up a parry that left the Pirate open, and thrust forward in an attack that only narrowly missed because he was feeling a bit dizzy.
Then the Pirate pulled out his Space Musket with his left hand, still holding the sword in the right. He had sawed off the barrel so that he could aim and fire it with only a single hand. Luckily for Seon, Space Muskets were as notoriously inaccurate as the two of them were drunk. They fired circular energy balls that bounced around in the barrel before they left, often causing the shots to veer off course. And the fact that the Pirate was drunk was like to make it even more inaccurate.
And inaccurate he was. Seon was easily able to anticipate each shot and duck or move out of the way before it hit him, if it was even on track to hit him at all. The problem was that he couldn’t very well walk up and stab the guy while he was getting shot at.
So Seon came up with the best plan that he could in the state that he was in. He charged straight forward again. A Space Musketball grazed past his shoulder as he lunged, causing him to wince, but he kept moving. He sliced in an upward arc, removing the Pirate’s left hand at the wrist.
The Pirate stared at his new bloody stump in disbelief.
“Yarr! Ye cut off me hand!”
“That I did. Now surrender.”
The Samurai had his blade at the Pirate’s neck. Then he felt a stabbing pain in his gut and saw the broadsword protruding from his stomach. In the confusion and adrenaline, he had only noticed the fatal blow now, when it was too late.
“I don’t think so, matey.”
Seon dropped his katana and clutched at his stomach. When the Pirate unsheathed his sword from his abdomen, he dropped to his knees, the strength ebbing out of him with his life.
“That was a mighty fine battle ye gave me, matey. I have no doubt we shall walk the plank in the afterlife together, as brothers in arms. What do ye think, Polly?”
The parrot squawked a reply. He would have to teach it to talk at some point; that would make the write-ups much more interesting. With Seon dead on the floor, he left the bar, considerably sobered by the confrontation.
---
STILL DAY 1
[WAKE CYCLE 3]
The next wake cy-
B-BOOOOOOOOM!!!
SPLOOOOSH!!
CRACKLE FRACKLE CRACKLE BLURBLE GLURBLE BLURBLE…
The next wake cycle, the crew of the Galactic Chutzpah found themselves stranded on an unknown planet, at the bottom of one of its oceans. This was deemed by most to be a non-ideal state of order, so they went to the Meeting and Bingo Room for guidance from their Captain.
“Listen up, Cadets! Apparently, last sleep cycle, the Galactic Chutzpah’s main engine exploded. We are still determining what caused the explosion, but we did find the remains of a dead Space Cadet in the engine room. Unfortunately, he was so disfigured by the blast that we cannot determine his identity. In addition, three other Space Cadets were found dead, of unrelated causes.”
“You may have noticed there is some flooding in the ship. Luckily, our increasingly useful on-ship AI succeeded in closing down bulkheads to stop the flooding, so the rest of the ship will stay dry so long as the hull doesn’t sustain any more damage. Also, if you see any water, report it to me and DON’T drink it. It’s not water, it’s liquid ammonia. That’s very bad for you.”
“Hey, why is the ship flooding anyway?”
“I’m glad you asked. As it happens, we have crash landed on the as-yet uncharted planet of the GIANT SPACE WHALES. And if we’re going to acquire their tubs of Uranium or just get moving in general, we’re going to need to fix that engine. I’ve got two different plans for this ready to set in motion. First, I suggest we scout for raw materials or resources. We can either send a shuttle to the surface, or search the seafloor. I’ll leave that to a vote.”
The Space Cadets, not too psyched about venturing into oceans of liquid ammonia where beasts as large as GIANT SPACE WHALEs could lurk, eagerly awaited the second plan.
“Second, I’m going to need a volunteer for this one. The autopilot has suggested we prevent the engine from ever exploding in the first place. To do that, we’ll need be needing the Time Machine.”
---
Alive: 20/28
atheotes
BSmith
classical_hero
Choxorn
Csargo
Double A
dcmort93
edse
Greyblades
Jarema
Major Robert Dump
Montmorency
robbiecon
SalmonSoil
The King
Thefluffyone93
wideyedwanderer
woad&fangs
Visorslash
Xehh II
Not Alive: 8/28
Zaccino - Space Cadet - Immortal, but eaten by a Space Whale
autolycus - Space Cadet - Bit off more than he could chew
Askthepizzaguy - Space Cadet - Died in madness having seen the future
Memnon - Zombie - Together he stood, divided he fell
Jolt - Pirate Ninja Robot Zombie - In the Cooler. The Space Cooler.
DaveShack - Space Cadet - Sleeping with the dinosaurs and the sharks
Arjos - Space Cadet - Got ding-dong ditched, extreme edition
Seon - Samurai - Was bested by the Western men and their guns
The Space Cadets' Reserve
johnhughthom
Ironside
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Originally Posted by Montmorency
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