A Italian, Spainard, and Greek walk into a bar. Who pays?

[Sarmatian]

That's not a nice way to talk about your future tyrannical overlords....

The only way I'm accepting a Norwegian as an overlord is if he carries an axe, wears a horned helmet and calls himself Olaf the Hairy.

The modern puffs are out of the question

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

The only way I'm accepting a Norwegian as an overlord is if he carries an axe, wears a horned helmet and calls himself Olaf the Hairy.

The modern puffs are out of the question

I have a distant cousin called Olaf, but he's Swedish. I don't know if he has the axe and helmet.