Offspring

[Kadagar_AV]

I don't think I've done a very good job explaining the situation.

My sisters boyfriends two kids live with them every other week, and with their mom every other week. The family is thus already divided, not much I can do about it.

I mean, I see my nephew (more than) twice as much as the other kids regardless.

Also, don't get me wrong. When I am there, and all the kids are around, I do my best to try and give the other kids attention too... But... they... are... so... annoying...

I just have no idea how to relate to them. They are raised so fundamentally different from myself, that my attempts at being nice often goes wrong. As an example, both my grandfathers were ranking chess players. They started me on chess from... as long as I can remember really.

They both absolutely trashed me. Repeatedly. Over and over again. It wasn't until I was like 14 and a ranking player myself that I started to even come CLOSE to having a chance, and I never beat anyone of them before they died.

So, my sisters BFs oldest (a boy) says he is really good at chess, and wants to play me. So we play, and I beat him in 4 turns. He gets shocked as he never lost against grownups before (!!??), and wants a rematch. We play again and this time instead of beating him fast I focus on eliminating his pieces while not losing my own, to drag it out and make the game last longer (and give me more challenge and some fun). When he realize he is obviously utterly beaten again, he... starts to cry. And runs to his daddy for hugs and cuddling... He was 11 at the time.

How am I supposed to work with that?

I come from a male line of race car drivers, anti-nazi freedom fighters, mountain climbers...

Their dad puts helmets on the kids before they can climb trees. Compare that to my dad finding me on the middle of a cliff side, only commenting "A child could climb that" (I was 6 at the time). LOL.

It's not like I avoid the kids, or am mean to them.

It's just that I don't want to bond with them. I have absolutely no interest in taking them in. If I visit I can sit down and play monopoly with them.

The PROBLEM is that my sisters asks stuff off me. "Oh, why don't you take [oldest son] out some day and teach him to inline?"

My honest answer would be: "Why I don't? Because he is a girlie boy with no motoric ability, and given the amount of padding I am sure he would come packaged in, I would be ashamed to be seen with him on town".

That is, of course, not what I have answered... I have said "Sure, let me get back to you..."

But that starts to wear thin. I can only get away with excuses for so many years.

GAH!!

[Strike For The South]

I don't think I've done a very good job explaining the situation.

My sisters boyfriends two kids live with them every other week, and with their mom every other week. The family is thus already divided, not much I can do about it.

I mean, I see my nephew (more than) twice as much as the other kids regardless.

Also, don't get me wrong. When I am there, and all the kids are around, I do my best to try and give the other kids attention too... But... they... are... so... annoying...

I just have no idea how to relate to them. They are raised so fundamentally different from myself, that my attempts at being nice often goes wrong. As an example, both my grandfathers were ranking chess players. They started me on chess from... as long as I can remember really.

They both absolutely trashed me. Repeatedly. Over and over again. It wasn't until I was like 14 and a ranking player myself that I started to even come CLOSE to having a chance, and I never beat anyone of them before they died.

So, my sisters BFs oldest (a boy) says he is really good at chess, and wants to play me. So we play, and I beat him in 4 turns. He gets shocked as he never lost against grownups before (!!??), and wants a rematch. We play again and this time instead of beating him fast I focus on eliminating his pieces while not losing my own, to drag it out and make the game last longer (and give me more challenge and some fun). When he realize he is obviously utterly beaten again, he... starts to cry. And runs to his daddy for hugs and cuddling... He was 11 at the time.

How am I supposed to work with that?

I come from a male line of race car drivers, anti-nazi freedom fighters, mountain climbers...

Their dad puts helmets on the kids before they can climb trees. Compare that to my dad finding me on the middle of a cliff side, only commenting "A child could climb that" (I was 6 at the time). LOL.

It's not like I avoid the kids, or am mean to them.

It's just that I don't want to bond with them. I have absolutely no interest in taking them in. If I visit I can sit down and play monopoly with them.

The PROBLEM is that my sisters asks stuff off me. "Oh, why don't you take [oldest son] out some day and teach him to inline?"

My honest answer would be: "Why I don't? Because he is a girlie boy with no motoric ability, and given the amount of padding I am sure he would come packaged in, I would be ashamed to be seen with him on town".

That is, of course, not what I have answered... I have said "Sure, let me get back to you..."

But that starts to wear thin. I can only get away with excuses for so many years.

GAH!!

Oh, this has nothing to do with you inability to connect with a new extended family.

You are just alpha bro

I come from a male line of race car drivers, anti-nazi freedom fighters, mountain climbers...

Is this the line that makes all the housewives drop trou?

[Kadagar_AV]

Oh, this has nothing to do with you inability to connect with a new extended family.

You are just alpha bro



Is this the line that makes all the housewives drop trou?

I think you read to much bragging into what I wrote...

Being a ski instructor is by no means "better" than being VD of a major company. I brought it up to highlight the different approaches to raising kids families can have.

Some families wrap their kids up till they look like the Micheline Man before any sort of physical activity, some families don't. From what I have seen, the first type of family can produce great academical minds. The other type of family can foster an adventure seeker.

One is not "better" than the other, just different.

But I, very personally, have a hard time trying to bond as family with someone NOT from my family, as there is a clear and wide gap in how we behave, and what we find important to pass on to a child.

EDIT: Also, the motoric skills of his two kids are under all critique... I honestly don't know where to begin.

And they are not exactly the sharpest tools either... When I was eleven I didn't brag to grownups that I was good at chess, yet I would have kicked my own behind badly had I played myself now when I was 11 years old. I was so much quicker in the head back then :)

[Papewaio]

Btw what does VD stand for... I've only seen it used for Veneral Disease

[Kadagar_AV]

Btw what does VD stand for... I've only seen it used for Veneral Disease

Sorry, bad Swenglish of me...

In Sweden, for the term CEO, we use the term "Vice Director"... As it is English I assumed it was a direct loan word. Guess I learnt my new thing of the day then :)

So HIS family have CEO's... MY family is the one with VD's. Sorry for the obvious confusion

EDIT: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/vice_director

Guess I wasn't completely stupid. Just rather stupid.