Regional Descriptions: Help the EBII Team

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Greetings gentlemen, I have just finished the Traveler's log and have begun the Geography, I wanted to know what you guys think. Is it good enough?

Province: Thessalia

Traveller's Log:
The traveler departs Athenai, heading north to Thessalia which was once called Aeolus. The north, west, and south are lands of high mountains and wooded valleys, where the breath of Zeus-Olympios chills the air in winter, and from where the river Pienios is fed. Mountain shepherds, and poor villages of free Penestae are all that inhabit these desolate places. It is in the northern Pendos mountains where the traveler may gaze upon a magnificent sight; the mountain of Olympos, home of the twelve, rising from the plains into the sky. Away from the mountains, in the heart of Thessalia, are the gentle plains of Trikala and Larissa, broken only along the breadth of the Pienios. Here the skill of the horsemen exceeds that of all except the Makedons. Here also came the famed centaurs and their descendants, the beautiful stallions that graze here still. The earth is blessed by Demeter to be the most fertile in Hellas, large herds graze here, and grain common as grass. Many small poelis are scattered across the plains, each one ruled by a local genos. Blessed among these is Larissa; founded by Acrisius who was slain by his grandson Perseus, also the renowned birthplace of the glorious hero Achilleus. In the east, the plains fall away into the realm of Posiedon; the waters of the Aegean. The coast is sheer and ragged until the arm of the the Pelion stretches out to shelter the waters, and provide safe passage for trade ships and fishermen. The chief poelis of this region are Demetrias, Pagasae, and Iolcos, all thriving ports. Dominant in Thessalia are the old Aeolians, of whom most genos descend, who took Thessalia in times long past, and who made the Penestae who had lived there as the helots in Laconia.