when is something an insult?

[Tellos Athenaios]

An insult is an insult when it is perceived as such. You can't really undo offence given to someone by pointing out you didn't mean to, likewise most people are hardly going to be offended by the suggestion that their father smells of elderberries even if it is most sincerely intended to insult them. The real question, I think, is not about when something is insulting per se, but rather when does it matter whether or not you are insulting, or in other words: (when) do you care?

[Sp4]

I always kind of understood insults to be done on purpose and offenses to happen accidentally or at least I make that distinction. I'm aware that some things I can say might offend people though, so I try to avoid doing it cause if I wasn't doing that, I'd be insulting them on purpose =X XD

[Husar]

There are always two sides to communication and if you want to communicate something and you care how it is received, you have to try to predict how the recipient will interprete it. If you fail and someone feels insulted, you can state you actual intention but it depends on the recipient whether they still believe you. If not, as Tellos says, it depends on how much you care.

I've personally managed to turn some unintended insults around and others not so much.

It generally helps to be a bit more careful with words however if you like the people you talk to.

[Seamus Fermanagh]

Communication theorists generally hold with the view that it is the message receiver and not the sender who determines the impact of a message.

If you say "that doesn't flatter you" and your S.O. hears "You're fat and ugly" just GUESS which interpretation dominates the relationship for the next little while.


Some phrases and words do carry too much baggage and can end up causing insult through simple use. Perhaps this should not be so, but it is.

[The Stranger]

Communication theorists generally hold with the view that it is the message receiver and not the sender who determines the impact of a message.

If you say "that doesn't flatter you" and your S.O. hears "You're fat and ugly" just GUESS which interpretation dominates the relationship for the next little while.


Some phrases and words do carry too much baggage and can end up causing insult through simple use. Perhaps this should not be so, but it is.

Yes, this seems to be the current status quo but I'm not sure I like it, but its good you bring it up. I may come back to it later with a response!

[The Stranger]

An insult is an insult when it is perceived as such. You can't really undo offence given to someone by pointing out you didn't mean to, likewise most people are hardly going to be offended by the suggestion that their father smells of elderberries even if it is most sincerely intended to insult them. The real question, I think, is not about when something is insulting per se, but rather when does it matter whether or not you are insulting, or in other words: (when) do you care?

yes, that question was part of my OP. and i guess in daily life its the more important question, tho for now ill regard it as of lesser importance.

for now the answer, you should care when you care about the opinion of the person who is insulted, either because you love/respect/fear that person or because you need something of that person.

[Fragony]

Only when it's intended to be an insult, that's an act. If someone feels insulted it was just insulting.

[a completely inoffensive name]

When the intent of the speech is insulting in nature. Removing intent from the equation makes every statement an insult.