Do you want Germany to raise military expenses?

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

I've just had an epiphany! Shh, stop whatever you're doing. Just listen!

Fragony's going on and on about Merkel being childless. Ok, that's easy to verify. She doesn't have any children, true. We might wonder why it affects him so much, but his statements were true. But now, he mentioned her (paraphrase) "dry vagina". How he knows that, you might wonder. Well, wonder no more good people, I've figured it all out.

Merkel and Fragony were lovers, and above all else he wanted her to have his child. BUT, whenever they tried to have sex, dry vagina was a problem. Fragony pleaded with her, "Angela, let's see a doctor, we can work this out, don't give up on us", but she said "Fragony, you know I love you, but I simply haven't the time. I've got all those refugees to take care off". "Angela, I can't believe that. Don't put them before us, we have something special here! Angela! No, Angela, come back!".

It explains everything. He hates refugees because he lost his beloved Angela to them, he hates Angela because she left him, and how he knows she has atrophic vaginitis.

Brilliant, on several levels.