What the fuck is wrong with you people? The "sound of Romans marching"? What, do the feet of other armies make different sounds?

We spend hours picking our way through journals and musty books with the hope that we'll make something truly miraculous; something greater than us; something that can educate people about an oft neglected period of history. And you want the sound of Romans marching?

You know what, I'll just stop now before I say something worse.