Reuniting the Tribes: A Getai AAR

[Hooahguy]

there are none....

[Wausser]

Great AAR, it sure made me laugh

[Quirinus]

"Hey, there's a harem-"

"Don't even try."


I laughed so hard at these two lines. Best lines of the entire AAR!

[Hooahguy]

thanks for the comments!
sorry for the delay. im under a lot of work, and i guess you can say that im overloaded.....

[Aemilius Paulus]

thanks for the comments!
sorry for the delay. im under a lot of work, and i guess you can say that im overloaded.....

...So you are not ending this AAR yet? I've heard you say you were. Shame too, I have never read an AAR like yours. No AAR I have previously seen was mainly humorous, that's what I meant by my first statement.

[gamegeek2]

No AAR I have previously seen was mainly humorous, that's what I meant by my first statement.

Read the Waste Land. No offense to hooahguy, but it beats this. MAA himself calls the Waste Land the best AAR of all time. And it's one of the first EB AARs, from v0.7 or so I believe.

[Hooahguy]

its ok. i dont take offense. the wasteland was the greatest AAR in EB history.....

[gamegeek2]

After the current dude in my Saka AAR gets old, I might do a wasteland redux with his son.

[Hooahguy]

sorry for the delay everyone. i plan on updating soon! keep the faith!

[Charles the hammer]

I cant wait been reading since the beginning and think it was the best AAR out there.

[Hooahguy]

I cant wait been reading since the beginning and think it was the best AAR out there.

awww..... shucks. i dont deserve that honor!

[gamegeek2]

Well, my Waste Land redux is well under way! Check it out (read my sig).

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 45: The legend of the Pavel-Ter, and preparing for war… again….

In the fall of 207, Tarsa per Drobeta sent for his senior aide, Diales per Buridava.

“How is the research on the true meaning of the name “Pavel-Ter” coming along?”

“It is done, my Vasil. We were planning to give it to you formally later this week, but since you asked now, I may as well fill you in on what the requirements, according to Getic tradition, to earn the title “Pavel-Ter.”

“Requirements?”

“Indeed, my Vasil. According to tradition, a Pavel-Ter must have united all the Getic and Thraikian tribes.”

“And which tribes haven’t we united? Is Ak-Ink one of the tribes we have to unite?”

“No, my Vasil. The Tribes at Ak-Ink are Gallic, not Getic.”

“So what is this last tribe we have to unite?”

“The Chersonesos-Thraikia tribe."

“Where do they reside?”

“Byzantion.”


All of a sudden, a messenger burst in the room.
“My Vasil! A Romani army approaches from the north!

“Get the troops together, and prepare to break camp!” Tarsa had a very concerned look on his face.

The armies marched within a few miles within each other.


The Romani army withdrew and met up with another Romani army,


After the ordeal, Tarsa fumed in his tent.
“This is too much! We can't have the Romani threatening us every few years! It scares our people too much! We need to teach them a lesson. A very, very good lesson- in fact, let’s show them who rules this area.”

“And how will we do that?”

“We will take Ak-Ink and Lucaroetta. I will head my army to destroy those two big Romani armies while another one takes Lucaroetta and Ak-Ink. While the second army lays siege to those two towns, I will beat off any Romani counter-attack. Then our dominance will be affirmed.”

“What about the Makedonians in Byzantion?”

“Oh, we will deal with them later. I will be the one personally to lead our armies into Byzantion, earning the title Pavel-Ter. But there will be heavy resistance. A large Makadonian army has moved into the area.”


“Sounds good, but who will lead the second army, the one that is to take Lucaroetta and Ak-Ink?”

“Good question….. Very good question…..”

[gamegeek2]

I nominate Borat to attack Ak-Ink and Lucarrotea

[Hooahguy]

ah. i was going to mention why he cant be it anymore.....
next chapter i will say...

[Tyrfingr]

What does the world map looks like?

[Hooahguy]

will show you next update, i hope. or the one after that. or whenever the 70th year into the game. (im at 206 bce)

[Hooahguy]

good news and bad news:

good news- i have 2 updates for you!
bad news- i have no time to post them....

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 46- The Orolic War

In 206, we got word that the Lusotannan were mounting a huge offensive on Carthaginian towns.


To the east, the Pahlava were on their last breath.


Directly to our north, the Romani were once again gearing for war. Tarsa put his army on alert, and an army under the rookie commander, Duras per Sarmiszegethusa, was sent northeast.


Instead of heading south into the rich Getic farmlands, the two Romani armies took the northern route in the winter of 204 through the Orolic Mountains (named after Oroles per Drobeta), and declared war on us by sacking a few Getic villages.


Tarsa made full speed to them, but Duras was delayed for an unknown reason. Tarsa would have to face the invasion alone, for now.


The Orolic War had begun.

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 47- The Battle of Kynesus Forest

The three armies met in forest that would be later named after Kynesus, a bodyguard who gave up his life to guard Tarsa in this battle.


Not only was it lightly snowing, we were in the trees, which made visibility of the battlefield terrible. Tarsa would only have control over the main line and about a hundred yards in front of it. Otherwise, orders would have to be sent by messengers.

The confident Romani army moved forwards.


Among them were our brothers, traitors to the cause, who only sided with the Romani because of gold…. greedy bastards….


Our horse archers opened fire in their usual rain of cold steel.


The lead elements, a bunch of light cavalry, fruitlessly charged our lines, as if they hoped to achieve something.


Next, some mercenary Greek medium cavalry charged the Galatians on the left flank. Later, a prisoner told us that it was a “small distracting charge to make the Getai not concentrate on the main battle.”


This didn't really work, because the Greek cavalry was quickly defeated, and didn’t cause the distraction that the Romani commander had hoped.


Our scouts came to Tarsa with the message that the second Romani was delayed because of a giant snowdrift was in their way to the field, and would take a few hours to get here.


“Good. More time for me to defeat the enemy that is on the field right now. Any news on Duras per Sarmiszegethusa and his army?”

“No, my Vasil- no word on him yet.”

The Romani elites soon clashed with our phalanxes.


On the right flank, things were quiet. No action there, nor would there be for the entire battle.

On the left flank, things were going great, but frantic.


Our brothers, even at the sight of brothers, fought us with a cold determination to make their money worth their while. But it didn't matter. They fell just as easily.



Around that time, Tarsa sent the cavalry around the enemy flanks to attack the enemy rear.


We killed their commander.


Soon the first Romani army was in full retreat.


We pursued them almost to the end of the battlefield, when the frantic cry went up. “Enemy reinforcements!” the second Romani army was here.


This army was heavily Celtic, all of whom had been bribed to join the Romani.



We now were in a perilous situation. Our best units were cut off from the main army, having pursued so far away for our lines.


Tarsa sent out the order- all units close enough to hear, they were to fall back to our lines, or close enough to them that they wouldn’t be cut off. A rider was sent to the Galatians and Thraikians, who quickly obeyed. But they had a far way to retreat before they were safe.


This reinforcing army was very diverse. There were some naked fanatics from the north…


And Galatians from the south.


The tactical retreat was mostly a failure. A unit of Galatians and Thraikians were cut off and surrounded.


A furious battle erupted around them.


They began to falter, and Tarsa sent in the cavalry to save them.
The cavalry burst from the woods and crushed the enemy around our warriors.


Now most of the second Romani army was in retreat. Only a few pockets of resistance remained.


One pocket was a steadfast unit of brothers. They would not give up, so we had to kill them. We sent a unit of Skythian heavy cavalry to their backs.


This didn't do it, so as the Skythians pulled back for another charge, the Thessalians charged.


That did it, and now all what was left was a unit of Romani levies. They quickly fell.


The battle was over.


The carnage extended for miles.


We had crushed two large Romani armies, and earned ourselves a heroic victory!
Indeed, we later built a monument there, commemorating the victory.


A few weeks after the battle, Duras’s army arrived.


Scouts later reported that the remnants of the first Romani army had scattered into the countryside, and there wasn’t much left of the second Romani Army.

Back in Buridava, the Council hailed the triumph as the greatest victory in Getic history. They pressed Tarsa to follow up his victory and take Lucaroetta and Ak-Ink, to which Tarsa replied, “We will, as soon as my men are rested and refitted.”

The Orolic War was about to get hotter.

[Olaf Blackeyes]

Epic lol. Nice chapters, i was beginning to think this was dead.

[Hooahguy]

nope. not dead. i just have little time for this...

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 48- Lucarotta captured!

In the winter of 203, our council had a meeting, as usual.

Antyros per Aedava, the Heir to the throne, presided.

He began with filling the rest of the council on the situation in the north with the Romani.
“Romani strength in the entire region is crippled, even in Illyria. They have just lost Dalminion to rebellion. Clearly, people are seeing the tyranny of the Romani and throwing them off. We need to take advantage of this and take Lucarotta as soon as we can. Maybe we will get lucky at the inhabitants of Lucarotta will throw off the Romani before we get there.”

“How should we take this city, if the people don’t overthrow the Romani? Lucarotta is heavily defended.” said Turanos, a councilman from Olbia.

“Turanos, my old friend, you are mistaking Lucarotta for Ak-Ink. Lucarotta is lightly defended, save for the wall that is around it. Ak-Ink, on the other hand, will be a hard city to take. All for taking Lucarotta say aye.”

The vote was unanimous, and Duras per Sarmiszegethusa was sent north, to Lucarotta.
(Insert picture of target city)

While we were besieging the city, the 70th anniversary of our great nation rolled around. The revelry among the confederacy was astounding. For three whole days people rejoiced. Sales in taverns skyrocketed.
While that was going on, the world was in turmoil.

In the Far East, Baktria was slowly swallowing its neighbors.

Arche Seleukia was busy eliminating the remnants of the Ptolemaioi.

Pontos, fighting for its very survival, is in a slogging match with Makedonia over Nikaia, while Arche Seleukia hammers away slowly at both of them.

In Iberia, the Koinon Hellenon, Carthage, and Lusotannan are clashing violently, and it looks as if Carthage will be kicked out from Iberia soon. The Koinon Hellenon is pretty firmly planted there, but that may change soon.

In central Europe, the Aedui had mostly eliminated the Arverni, save for one last stronghold, which is holding up pretty well, even against the Sweboz hordes.

In the Caucuses, the Hai and the Sauromatae were struggling over control of the Caucuses, and it seems as if the Sauromatae are losing. Meanwhile the Pahlava, like Pontos, are struggling to survive against the Baktrians, who hammer incessantly at them.

In Italy, Carthage, even with their foothold in the toe of Italy, seemly aren’t interested in doing anything with that gain, save for a short incursion to Capua. It seems as if those lazy Romani don’t want to kick them out of Italy, or maybe they can't, which is pathetic, considering that the Carthaginian foothold is only maintained by a few relatively weak units.
How they were able to throw two entire armies at us and yet can't beat a few measly infantry units is a mystery. They certainly need to get their priorities in order.

At the bottom of the Arabian Peninsula is the Sab’yn, who makes small gains against Arche Seleukia every so often, but often lose that gain within a few turns.

Epeiros, only owning one more city, is trying desperately to conquer Dalminion (now in the hands of some renegade Aedui soldiers) but have been unsuccessful every time so far. Recently the Romani whipped a rather large Epeirote army a bit north of Dalminion.

Finally, in the mysterious lands of Britannia, the Casse, having gained control of both Britain and Ireland, are sitting around doing nothing, and are apparently trying to build boats for a cross-channel invasion. According to our sources, the haughty Casse gave the reason as to why their boats always sink:
“It's a form of population control. We have too many people, and if we send them [Casse citizens] on poorly made ships, we can keep the population under control.”
But the rest of us know that’s bull, and the Casse are inept ship-builders. I doubt they, or any of their ancestors, will ever be able to build ships, let alone rule the seas.

The world in the summer of 202-
(Insert picture of the world in 202)

A few months later, near sunset of one day, our forces besieging Lucarotta heard violent sounds within the city, and by daybreak the next day, the gates of the city were opened. We marched in, ever so cautious, and found the garrison, save for the Celtic elements of it, dead. We were told that the Celtic mercenaries, including survivors of the Battle of Kynesus Plain, had murdered the rest of the garrison and surrendered to us after they had been refused payment for their service to the Romani. To quote one member of the Celtic mercenaries: “We wanted our goddamn money!”
The city was ours!
(Insert picture of city taken)

A few weeks later, Tarsa got word that a Makedonian spy had been caught in Tylis and executed. The Council put the guarding army in that area on high alert. This obviously meant that the Makedonians were targeting Tylis, for they always sent a spy to cities they were looking at attacking.
(Insert picture of agent found)

But there were more pressing matters at hand. Facing our soldiers was the fortress of Ak-Ink, bastion of Romani power in the region. We would see how long it would last a stronghold for the Romani. If we have any say in it, it won't last long…..
(Insert picture of Ak-Ink)

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 48- Lucarotta captured!

In the winter of 203, our council had a meeting, as usual.

Antyros per Aedava, the Heir to the throne, presided.

He began with filling the rest of the council on the situation in the north with the Romani.
“Romani strength in the entire region is crippled, even in Illyria. They have just lost Dalminion to rebellion. Clearly, people are seeing the tyranny of the Romani and throwing them off. We need to take advantage of this and take Lucarotta as soon as we can. Maybe we will get lucky at the inhabitants of Lucarotta will throw off the Romani before we get there.”

“How should we take this city, if the people don’t overthrow the Romani? Lucarotta is heavily defended.” said Turanos, a councilman from Olbia.

“Turanos, my old friend, you are mistaking Lucarotta for Ak-Ink. Lucarotta is lightly defended, save for the wall that is around it. Ak-Ink, on the other hand, will be a hard city to take. All for taking Lucarotta say aye.”

The vote was unanimous, and Duras per Sarmiszegethusa was sent north, to Lucarotta.


While we were besieging the city, the 70th anniversary of our great nation rolled around. The revelry among the confederacy was astounding. For three whole days people rejoiced. Sales in taverns skyrocketed.
While that was going on, the world was in turmoil.

In the Far East, Baktria was slowly swallowing its neighbors.

Arche Seleukia was busy eliminating the remnants of the Ptolemaioi.

Pontos, fighting for its very survival, is in a slogging match with Makedonia over Nikaia, while Arche Seleukia hammers away slowly at both of them.

In Iberia, the Koinon Hellenon, Carthage, and Lusotannan are clashing violently, and it looks as if Carthage will be kicked out from Iberia soon. The Koinon Hellenon is pretty firmly planted there, but that may change soon.

In central Europe, the Aedui had mostly eliminated the Arverni, save for one last stronghold, which is holding up pretty well, even against the Sweboz hordes.

In the Caucuses, the Hai and the Sauromatae were struggling over control of the Caucuses, and it seems as if the Sauromatae are losing. Meanwhile the Pahlava, like Pontos, are struggling to survive against the Baktrians, who hammer incessantly at them.

In Italy, Carthage, even with their foothold in the toe of Italy, seemly aren’t interested in doing anything with that gain, save for a short incursion to Capua. It seems as if those lazy Romani don’t want to kick them out of Italy, or maybe they can't, which is pathetic, considering that the Carthaginian foothold is only maintained by a few relatively weak units.
How they were able to throw two entire armies at us and yet can't beat a few measly infantry units is a mystery. They certainly need to get their priorities in order.

At the bottom of the Arabian Peninsula is the Sab’yn, who makes small gains against Arche Seleukia every so often, but often lose that gain within a few turns.

Epeiros, only owning one more city, is trying desperately to conquer Dalminion (now in the hands of some renegade Aedui soldiers) but have been unsuccessful every time so far. Recently the Romani whipped a rather large Epeirote army a bit north of Dalminion.

Finally, in the mysterious lands of Britannia, the Casse, having gained control of both Britain and Ireland, are sitting around doing nothing, and are apparently trying to build boats for a cross-channel invasion. According to our sources, the haughty Casse gave the reason as to why their boats always sink:
“It's a form of population control. We have too many people, and if we send them [Casse citizens] on poorly made ships, we can keep the population under control.”

But the rest of us know that’s bull, and the Casse are inept ship-builders. I doubt they, or any of their ancestors, will ever be able to build ships, let alone rule the seas.

The world in the summer of 202-


A few months later, near sunset of one day, our forces besieging Lucarotta heard violent sounds within the city, and by daybreak the next day, the gates of the city were opened. We marched in, ever so cautious, and found the garrison, save for the Celtic elements of it, dead. We were told that the Celtic mercenaries, including survivors of the Battle of Kynesus Plain, had murdered the rest of the garrison and surrendered to us after they had been refused payment for their service to the Romani. To quote one member of the Celtic mercenaries: “We wanted our goddamn money!”
The city was ours!


A few weeks later, Tarsa got word that a Makedonian spy had been caught in Tylis and executed. The Council put the guarding army in that area on high alert. This obviously meant that the Makedonians were targeting Tylis, for they always sent a spy to cities they were looking at attacking.


But there were more pressing matters at hand. Facing our soldiers was the fortress of Ak-Ink, bastion of Romani power in the region. We would see how long it would last a stronghold for the Romani. If we have any say in it, it won't last long…..

[Hooahguy]

wha? no replies?
o well.

[hrrypttrbst]

If you want one than here: Good AAR

[Hooahguy]

If you want one than here: Good AAR

thanks!

[gamegeek2]

I see that Eburonum holds. I see that the script is working, with the two great ones held at bay by the stubborn Boii. I see hooahguy continues with this AAR. And I see why kids Love cinnamon Toast Crunch! I likes what I sees.

[Hooahguy]

wow. this AAR has been going on for quite a while....
never fear. the end is near!

Chapter 49- more military changes

The winter of 202 brought bad news. Borat caught a fever and died. Hundreds attended his funeral.


A few weeks after the funeral, Tarsa sat down with the war council.
“We need to change the layout of our armies.”

“Why?” Antyros per Aedava asked.

“Look at the last battle we had with the Romani. Two units of phalanxes didn't see much action. Considering the Romani are a very versatile enemy, we must also be mobile. Having four units of stationary spearmen in battle when only two of them are seeing action is a waste. I say that we replace two units of phalanxes with a unit we haven’t used in a long time- the Cordinau Orcas.”


He continued,
“They are very strong and maneuverable. With more men moving around, flanking, and not just sitting there, we save men and time in battle, plus our men don’t get as tired. In the last battle, the Thraikians and Galatians did almost all the fighting! This is not right. So my official proposal is that we replace two units, preferably the two weakest ones, of phalanxes, and replace them with two units of Cordinau Orcas.”

The vote wasn’t even close- 109 ayes to 1 nay.
The nay was from a representative from Olbia who represented the newly formed pacifist faction within the confederation. They wanted us to give back all the lands taken from the Romani and Epeiros, in an effort for world peace. This party was laughed at, for to give back all that territory would put various provinces in grave danger.

So the change was done.


In the early months of 201, we looked to Ak-Ink, as we formulated our course of action…

[Charles the hammer]

long time with no update its good to see you still going with this its a great AAR sorry to hear your ending it soon.