UK English Grammar vs. US English Grammar

**AlexanderSextus** · 10-23-2009, 20:09

Originally Posted by Strike For The South

That's because it's nothing but Ital's. Going into a restaurant in Jersey is like walking into a buzzsaw. Loud, confusing, and lots of guys who shop at the big n tall.

The correct thing to do is this:

Sir, May I have the check?

Yes sir, I'll bring that right out to you

Thank you

You're welcome.

No yelling and no demanding. You yankees are always in a hurry.

You rednecks always have to make things so complicated.

Why say all that when you can just stick your finger in the air, Exclaim, "Check Please!" Recieve the check, then say "Thanks" and Thats it?

Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

An entire conversation, in English, without any occurrence of that most essential of British words: 'please'.

See, this is what I meant in the 'you uncivili(z/s)ed brute' thread. It is not so much the words or the spelling, but the use of language that is the most telling difference between American or British English.

Strike's conversation just screams 'America'. Here's the same conversation in Britain:
'Excuse me, could we have the cheque please?'
'Sod off, mate'
'Oh pardon me. Ever so sorry to disturb you'
'Can't you see I'm busy, you *anagram of Newark*?'

You may have noticed that the much shorter NJ way of doing it actually does include "please".

That's why it works so well. Polite and Assertive, as well as short and to the point.

**Strike For The South** · 10-23-2009, 20:26

Originally Posted by AlexanderSextus

You rednecks always have to make things so complicated.

Why say all that when you can just stick your finger in the air, Exclaim, "Check Please!" Recieve the check, then say "Thanks" and Thats it?

Rednecks? I'm sorry we have class and manners. I'm sorry we're not in a rush to do everything, slow down you'll live longer.

You yankees are just like Europeans. You're fast paced and you talk funny.

**AlexanderSextus** · 10-23-2009, 21:56

I'm sorry we have class and manners.

Apology Accepted. We were really getting tired of you being so stuck up, ya know.

**Subotan** · 10-23-2009, 22:26

So SFTS is a Southern Gentleman? The height of Texan Culture?The zenith of American sophistication?

Wellll, I guess those would all mean something if that excellent quote by Jacques Chirac that Louis has in his sig wasn't true

**Philippus Flavius Homovallumus** · 10-23-2009, 23:42

Originally Posted by Strike For The South

Rednecks? I'm sorry we have class and manners. I'm sorry we're not in a rush to do everything, slow down you'll live longer.

You yankees are just like Europeans. You're fast paced and you talk funny.

I take it you can actually satisfy honour with a sabre or rapier, then?

**Banquo's Ghost** · 10-24-2009, 08:53

Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla

I take it you can actually satisfy honour with a sabre or rapier, then?

A gentleman knows that pistols are just as permitted, and in such a case, I for one would not be keen to face a Texan on the field of honour.

My lily liver however, would be saved because the fellow would still be searching for the field of honor at the appointed hour...

**Samurai Waki** · 10-24-2009, 09:03

Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost

A gentleman knows that pistols are just as permitted, and in such a case, I for one would not be keen to face a Texan on the field of honour.

My lily liver however, would be saved because the fellow would still be searching for the field of honor at the appointed hour...

A Texan's only weapon of honour is of course, his fists. And they duel to the death.

**Banquo's Ghost** · 10-24-2009, 09:15

Originally Posted by Wakizashi

A Texan's only weapon of honour is of course, his fists.

Nonsense, sirrah. A gentlemen does not duel with fisticuffs and Texans are gentlemen. Boxing is a sport.

Those Mexican fellows at the Alamo were met with lead and cold steel. Maybe a barbeque grating or two, historians appear to be unclear on the latter.

**Philippus Flavius Homovallumus** · 10-24-2009, 10:18

Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost

A gentleman knows that pistols are just as permitted, and in such a case, I for one would not be keen to face a Texan on the field of honour.

My lily liver however, would be saved because the fellow would still be searching for the field of honor at the appointed hour...

My assumption was that, being Texan, he was proficient with with firearms, Sir.

**Strike For The South** · 10-26-2009, 03:50

Eh I'm not a Southern Gentleman. They tend to drink fruity cocktails and like boys. Not to mention I'm from Texas not the south

I'm more of a cowboy.