De Vita Auli Aurelii - A Romani AAR

[Jebivjetar]

It's been a long time since the last Roman AAR. I'll be following this!

[Centurio Nixalsverdrus]

This begins very promising, Skullhead. I'll be following this!

P.S. Nice Epeirote empire you got there.

[Skullheadhq]

P.S. Nice Epeirote empire you got there.

And they're expanding into Asia Minor and it is only 253BC!

[Cute Wolf]

Holy dude! How could Avlvs survive this? ohh... poor boy......

[Skullheadhq]

Chapter 3: De Bello Gallico

The Gaesatae fled to the Aedui town of Mediolanum and even granted this pervert asylum, when Aulus heard this, he was OUTRAGED and immediatly gathered his battle-weary veterans from Bononia and marched right to Segestica, and thus:


The small coastal town of Segesta was since a few years controlled by the Aedui Council, and only a small garrison was present, thus it was the first target in the Cisalpina Campaign.


And of course, the town was easily taken and the Aedui Governor was executed at the Town Square, after being humiliated by Aulus his soldiers.



The town was pilaged, the women and children were deported to Roma as slaves and throats of the men were sliced and then the corpses were dumped into the sea. The Senatores were pleased with the amount of female slaves they received, and decided to send Aulus even more troops for his campaign.

Meanwhile the people of Roma cheered as well, an hated enemy was defeated, and the shame of the sacking by Brennus was undone by Aulus. Also, the equites quite enjoyed their new hot blonde celtic slaves as well...

By this, Aulus was even more convinced of his plans to attack Mediolanum, the last Aedui settlement left in Gallia Cisalpina, and with the loot he could get there, he could easily take the fight to Transalpina... but first, the Oppidum of Mediolanum had to be taken.

So, Aulus took his soldiers to Mediolanum, but Eathomos confronted him on the open field...


But those Celts couldn't stop Aulus, he send forth his Lugian Mercenary's to exploit the weakness of these lunatics...armor!



Alas, the Lugians didn't have enough javelins for a warband this size....


Luckily, there's a strength like none other, and nothing on this green earth is stonger then the Roman Legion, because there is nothing on this green earth that is stronger than a Roman Legionary...Legion Strong, Amen!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiuWcv-Rp5M

And this unparalleled force killed the enemy general in cold blood:


And then there appeared from the woods, GAESATAE!
They were stoned and angry as hell...


Alas, they were too late to save their comrades from getting impaled...


And Victory was ours, praise Fortuna!


After this glorious victory, Aulus was too tired to sleep with his blonde Celtic slave girls...
Anyway, he took his victorious army to Mediolanum the next day.

The first siege attempt failed thanks to a pyromaniac who torched our ram, but the second time...
This was Aulus his battle, the dual of fates, on the frozen streets of Mediolanum he would face his rapist again, and would Aulus even survive this battle?

Victory means that Aulus regains his honor, but if he would die, he would go into the history book as that wifegeneral that was abused by a Gaesatae...

First he ordered his Hastati to scale the walls...


After that it was a walk straight to the plaza, with the Gaesatae on it...


In a heroic fight Aulus reached the plaza, and there he saw his rapist, he ran straight towards him, but then floating stars appeared around his scrotum, and his (the Gaesatae, duh!) scrotum started glowing...


This was a sign from Iupiter himself! Aulus slew the Gaesatae and offered the glowing Gaesatae penis to Iupiter the same day!



All his soldiers partyed all night long but then the soldier who stood on watch on the wall came running to Aulus his throne

SIR! SIR! WE'RE UNDER SIEGE! A HUGE CELTIC ARMY STANDS BEFORE OUR GATES!



What will happen next?
ONLY TIME WILL TELL!

[Skullheadhq]

nevermind

[Fluvius Camillus]

LOL!

What do you guys think we are? Some Hollywood Legionaries? You plebs should watch less movies and fight more Gauls...

The Gaesatae first checked his butt...

And then there appeared from the woods, GAESATAE!
They were stoned and angry as hell...


In a heroic fight Aulus reached the plaza, and there he saw his rapist, he ran straight towards him, but then floating stars appeared around his scrotum, and his scrotum started glowing...


This was a sign from Iupiter himself! Aulus slew the Gaesatae and offered the glowing Gaesatae penis to Iupiter the same day!




GREAT!! I will follow this, keep it coming!

The only criticism I have:
You mix up Lugians and Ligurians, also you mix up Segesta and Segestica. Everything else is great!

Dont take Mediolanium or you will face the wrath if the Epeirote Empire!

~Fluvius

[jirisys]

It's been a long time since the last Roman AAR. I'll be following this!

I am making one dude, if you just looked for it lol

[Fluvius Camillus]

COME ON SKULLHEADHQ!

De tentamens zijn voorbij, je hebt echt wel vrije tijd, je gaat gewoon te vaak naar de kroeg!

We are all waiting.

~Fluvius