Mafia IX: Triumph of the Mafia [Concluded]

[GeneralHankerchief]

Yaseikhaan had somehow acquired a podium, much to the general chagrin of the villagers of the Frontroom. He had been at the pulpit all day, masterfully interweaving proclamations of the glory of Northern Iowa with harangues about how Thermal Mercury was guilty and deserved to die (while conveniently, of course, not even thinking about the possibility of evidence to side the argument in either direction). In addition to this, he was decked out in purple robes with gold trim. All in all, according to him, he gave off the appearance of a gleaming beacon of light in an otherwise hopeless town. However, the villagers mostly regarded him as an annoying blight who needed to be removed.

"And by the grace that is Panther Pride, I say once again that Thermal Mercury has brought this pestilence upon the town, and therefore must be removed, much like how the University of Kansas was removed from the NCAA Tournament by the #9 seed Northern Iowa on Saturday night! Can I get an amen on this, brothers and sisters?! I say, can I get a hallelujah?! Hallelujah! Hallelujah indeed! Strong and fearless we shall strike forth and eliminate our opposition, much like how Northern Iowa will strike forth and eliminate Michigan State in the Sweet 16 on Thursday!" And thus the harangue went on, for hours.

Finally, mercifully, as the sun was setting, Chief of Police Lemur called an end to voting and pontificating alike. "All right khaan," he said, "you have the most votes by a lot. Come on, get down from the pulpit and come on up to the execution platform." khaan did as he was ordered, noticing that there was a large metal pole mounted at the back of the platform that was not there previously. He said nothing as Lemur instructed him to wrap his arms behind the pole and begun tying them there using some rope.

"For today's execution, I have invented a new type of incendiary device that explodes on contact with human flesh only; heavier than a grenade but packing a bit more punch. I've formed it into the shape of a basketball for familiarity's sake. Unfortunately, the device is a lot heavier than I originally anticipated, so I needed to call in someone from the outside to handle it. Therefore, the deliverer of khaan's execution will be University of Kansas point guard Sherron Collins."

khaan, despite his predicament, burst out laughing as Collins gripped the basketball-bomb and prepared to chuck it. "Don't you have a game to prepare for?" he yelled. "Oh wait, that's right, you don't, BECAUSE WE ENDED YOUR SEASON! Ha ha!" Collins, absolutely glowering, shot the ball at khaan but it went wide left.

Lemur retrieved the ball without comment as khaan kept up his barrage of insults and heckling. Collins, lining up for his second shot, came up short as the ball barely made it to the execution platform.

"AIRRRRR BALLLLLLLL!!!" khaan jeered.

And thus it went for the better part of 15 minutes. khaan mercilessly heckled Collins who, try as he might, was unable to shoot the ball-bomb with any accuracy. Finally, Collins, his face absolutely red with rage, stared khaan down while all the while whispering in Lemur's ear.

"Uh, right..." Lemur said with a questioning expression on his face. Collins nodded, and then Lemur shrugged. "Okay khaan, this is going to be it for real. Have you any last words?"

Collins started charging at khaan, leaping into the air, and suddenly khaan understood. "IN THE NAME OF EGLSEDER, AND KOCH, AND FAROKHMANESH, MAY PEACE AND VICTORIES COME UPON YOU ALL!" he bellowed, right before Collins slam-dunked the ball-bomb on khaan's head, the explosion killing them both.

Day 3 tally:
Yaseikhaan: 8 (Sasaki, Beefy, Thermal, Beskar, Blackadder, Methos, Subotan, john)
Thermal Mercury: 4 (khaan, woad, ATPG, TinCow)
Askthepizzaguy: 2 (Reenk, Ibn-Khaldun)
Sasaki Kojiro: 2 (White_eyes, Kage)
Psychonaut: 1 (Winston)
Split: 1 (Psychonaut)
shlin28: 1 (pever)
Kagemusha: 1 (Renata)
pevergreen: 1 (shlin)

Abstained: 3 (Secura, Joooray, Split)
Didn't vote 2: (Sigurd, CDF)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still alive: (25)
Sasaki Kojiro
Secura
johnhughthom
Askthepizzaguy
Beefy187
Methos
White_eyes:D
Sigurd
Kagemusha
Subotan
Beskar
Captain Blackadder
Joooray
pevergreen
Renata
shlin28
Winston Hughes
Thermal Mercury
Cultured Drizzt fan
Ibn-Khaldun
woad&fangs
Psychonaut
spL1tp3r50naL1ty
TinCow
Reenk Roink

Killed:
Crazed Rabbit
Andres
atheotes
Double A
Centurion1
Csargo

Executed:
Diamondeye
Chaotix
Yaseikhaan

[Winston Hughes]

Excellent write-up.

[White_eyes:D]

Khaan would be proud....

[Renata]

I'm in awe. :D

[TinCow]

I appear to be without a master. As I cannot think for myself, I will now accept applications for a new master. If you are interested in the position, please briefly explain why I should mindlessly vote the same way you do without question every single day. All submissions must be less than 100 words long, because I can't be bothered to read anything longer than that.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I appear to be without a master. As I cannot think for myself, I will now accept applications for a new master. If you are interested in the position, please briefly explain why I should mindlessly vote the same way you do without question every single day. All submissions must be less than 100 words long, because I can't be bothered to read anything longer than that.

You should follow me without question, because if you do, you shall have delicious cake that is both delicious and not a lie. Also, I am one of the few who was brilliant enough to also follow Khaan's clearly superior instincts. I hereby volunteer to lead this town to glorious victoly, offering my head as payment should I fail.

[Subotan]

You should follow me without question, because if you do, you shall have delicious cake that is both delicious and not a lie. Also, I am one of the few who was brilliant enough to also follow Khaan's clearly superior instincts. I hereby volunteer to lead this town to glorious victoly, offering my head as payment should I fail.

My delicious pancakes are far tastier than your foul rotten stink-cake.

[Renata]

I appear to be without a master. As I cannot think for myself, I will now accept applications for a new master. If you are interested in the position, please briefly explain why I should mindlessly vote the same way you do without question every single day. All submissions must be less than 100 words long, because I can't be bothered to read anything longer than that.

I'm the only girl in the game.

[Beskar]

I'm the only girl in the game.

You hussy.

[Secura]

I'm the only girl in the game.

I'm still here. ¬_¬

[Sasaki Kojiro]

I appear to be without a master. As I cannot think for myself, I will now accept applications for a new master. If you are interested in the position, please briefly explain why I should mindlessly vote the same way you do without question every single day. All submissions must be less than 100 words long, because I can't be bothered to read anything longer than that.

If you follow me without question, I will follow you without question. As long as you vote for who I vote for, I will vote for who you vote for.

[TinCow]

If you follow me without question, I will follow you without question. As long as you vote for who I vote for, I will vote for who you vote for.

This is the most amusing answer.

The Khaan is Dead! Long Live the Kojiro!

[Kagemusha]

I appear to be without a master. As I cannot think for myself, I will now accept applications for a new master. If you are interested in the position, please briefly explain why I should mindlessly vote the same way you do without question every single day. All submissions must be less than 100 words long, because I can't be bothered to read anything longer than that.

I will promise you a lynch each day right to the end of the game.

[Subotan]

Superb

[Subotan]

I make good pancakes