Casey the Casse: a (humorous) Casse AAR

[Cute Wolf]

Geez... another funny updates from Hooahguy...

Why not? I do it all the time (ang get A's)

~Jirisys (Jirisys Einstein!)

and then, don't whine about exams now, do the skinning

[jirisys]

Geez... another funny updates from Hooahguy...




and then, don't whine about exams now, do the skinning

I didn't play EB this time, i studied because... idk... i wanted to get and A+

~Jirisys (for a leader you have a lot of pacience (so much you haven;t told me precisely what you want me to do))

[gamegeek2]

jirysis, join our mod instead! Rawr!

btw, great update!

[Rahwana]

jirysis, join our mod instead! Rawr!

btw, great update!

* Whipping Cute Wolf to sent the order...
Darn, we have such reckless mod leader....

[Cute Wolf]

ok ok, actually I'm just too busy reskinning them myself, now I allready sent Jiri's order.... please don't mad with me Sonic

[Hooahguy]

lets keep the chat related to the AAR, shall we?

[Hooahguy]

-


After a few days of merrymaking, I went home, as did the rest of the guys. To my surprise, there was a government official at my house.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
The official said “The gold well in your backyard decided to take a Bank Holiday. As of now are whipping the well in hopes that it will begin spurting gold again.”

I have such faith in our government.

I went inside the cottage I used to call home. My brother and his wife were there.
“Where’s Mom and Dad?”
“Dead. While you were out conquering Iberia.”
“How?”
“I’ll assume you are familiar with the thing called “bog snorkeling?”
“Oh no! Did they drown in the bog?!”
“No, I just wanted to know if you knew what it was. Mom and Dad died of old age.”

Later, I came across Denica, my old sweetheart from before I deployed. She looked very beautiful (and was still single, for some reason), and we began talking, catching up on old times. It wasn’t long before things got hot and heavy. I would go into more detail but I don’t want to break forum rules.

I woke up the next morning with her in my bed. We got up, got dressed, and then realized that we just technically got married. We hurried to the local druid and made it official. We spent the rest of the day together by the lake, talking and having a good time. It was such a shame that I was redeploying to Iberia the next day.

That evening all the guys met at a tavern in Ictis, the evening before we get on a boat to go back to Iberia to rejoin Dejotaros’s army. After the customary cheers, Yntyn rose to speak.

“My friends, this morning I rose with the expectation that I would be rejoining you in Iberia. But at noon, a government courier arrived with the letter that my time in the service is finished. So I have decided not to re-enlist. I have a wife at home, and I want to stay with her and have children. Soldiering is just not my thing. I guess this is my goodbye to you all.”

Cian spoke up.
“I always knew you were a yellow-bellied coward.”

Kyros intervened.
“Cian, shut up. Yntyn, we are all very happy for you, and we wish you best of luck in civilian life!”

There were congenial nods around the table, and then Yntyn spoke again.
“I wish you all luck in Iberia in defeating those Lusotanan bastards, and stay safe you guys. Hopefully we will be able to get together again on your next leave!”

And with that, Yntyn toasted the rest of us, downed his mead, and then walked out of the tavern and out of our lives.

“Can't say I’ll miss the yellow-bellied coward,” Cian said.
“I agree, Flynnyn said, “he refused to believe in UFOs!”

The next morning the group, one short, headed to the docks. We all had roaring headaches, especially Cian, who drank more than usual. He claimed that he was drinking to the fact that Yntyn left and there was one less coward in the army, but I swear to you, when Yntyn walked out that door, I saw tears in Cian’s eyes.

We arrived back in Iberia in late spring of 230 BCE. We got back to Dejotaros. He told us that we are going after Arse.
“Yes sir, I know we are going after some butt-kicking, but where are we going to do it?” asked Kyros.
“We are going to Arse.” Dejotaros replied.
“Sir, I know we are going after ass, but WHERE?!”
“No you idiot! There’s a city called “Arse” that is occupied by the Lusotanan and we are going to take it!”
“Oh.”

The whole bunch of us, minus Flynnyn (He was very sick with the measles so he couldn’t come with us. Of course, Cian had to comment how he really belonged in the psych ward) joined the army heading towards Arse. Not long after we crossed the border, we were intercepted by a medium sized army.



The enemy presented battle among a large forest. Dejotaros does not like forests very much (“There’s a billion splinters waiting to happen in there” he was once quoted as saying) so he moved us to a clearing, where we could see what was going on and where the enemy were.


As the Lusotanan came closer, Kyros and his men had a swell time pelting the heck out of the advancing Lusotanan troops.


Our Milnaht, always bloodthirsty, led the charge on the Lusotanan lines.


But the Lusotanan commander stretched his line out so it would snake out and they could wrap the flanks around us.


Cue Cian and his men.


Some Gallic mercenaries helped us by hitting the enemy from behind.


Not long after the massive battle in the center (among trees, ironically) went our way and soon the battle was in our hands.


Cian, Lugo, and their respective units were able to trap the last routing unit, which almost got away.


The battle was won with only 84 fatalities on our side.


We were also able to capture a few men.
We asked them where they were from, and they said Arse.
Kyros could help but ask “If your city is called Arse, what do you call your buttocks?”
“Our Numantia.”
We could help but laugh.
Later the captured men were sent home on the grounds of unbounded ridiculousness.

We soon got to Arse and put it under siege. Soon after that, a very small force (two units- a unit of spearmen and a unit of skirmishers) came to somewhat relieve the garrison. It wasn’t much, but the garrison came out anyways to help. This was the chance we were waiting for, to wipe out the enemy garrison without having to storm the city itself.


We deployed under a bright sky, and in view of the lovely Mediterranean Sea.
The small enemy army came at us from the north. Arse was to the south-west so we assumed the garrison would come from there, and Dejotaros set up accordingly. But the garrison snuck through the woods and came from the north-west. We were being flanked.


Dejotaros had to think fast. He quickly moved the line to face the garrison while he sent two units of slingers and O’Bryn’s unit of Caledonians to deal with the small relieving army. But to do so everyone had to double-time it.


The main lines collided, then separated into two fights— one on the left and one on the right.



During the fighting, the enemy general began to wade through, but hung back far enough so there wasn’t a huge chance of him dying. Lugo, after he and his unit sent a unit of Lusotanan spearmen fleeing towards the hills, saw this, and they charged. A unit of mercenaries saw this too and charged as well. It was now a race to see who could get to the enemy general first.


Lugo won. Just before the mercenaries made contact, they saw two enemy units move up to protect the enemy general, so the mercenaries fell back. But Lugo and his men were not wimps, so they charged straight into the enemy mass.


Our axmen, after cleaning up some Lusotanan skirmishers, charged in to help.


More and more men joined the fight as the rest of Lusotanan army crumbled and fled. Dejotaros sent in our spearmen, who were fresh, to help.


Even the mercenaries got courage and went around to the back and flanked the enemy.


We had encircled them— well almost.


Someone got lucky and killed the enemy general.


The enemy remnants broke and ran, and we hunted them down, leaving very few men left.
The battle was over and Arse was ours.



After the battle, I went looking for all my friends. I found Lugo and Kyros, but I could not find O’Bryn. I asked his friends. No one had seen him. I looked at the bodies of any Caledonian who had fallen. It was hard because of the tall grass, but a cursory look yielded no body either, which was a small relief. But we were worried.

Dejotaros came by and asked what was wrong.

“Sir, O’Bryn is MIA.”

[Nyz]

jirysis, join our mod instead! Rawr!

Hmm Jirsys... Gamegeek also a slavemaster.....