The Immature Jokes Thread.

Everyone loves 'em.

Now let's get this started.


Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Because he was a fungi

What's red and sits in the corner?

A naughty strawberry

Why did the baker's hands smell?

He kneaded a poo

Why did the tomato blush?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Because it saw the salad dressing

What did one plate say to the other?

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Lunch is on me

What did the eye say to the other eye?

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Just between us something smells

and the lucky last a 5 year old told me...

What makes a man go?

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A mango!

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

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A carrot

What's brown and sticky?

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A stick

Why do eagles go to church?

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Because they're birds of prey

What do you call the children of the Tsar of Russia?

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Tsar-dines

What do you call an octopus that can tell the time?

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A clocktopus

Why did the beach blush?

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Beacause the sea-weed

this one is a bit related to holland.

it is yellow and when it hits you in the eye, you are dead. what is it?

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a train (dutch national trains are yellow)

In the same vein, what's yellow and goes back in time?

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The train to Limburg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hax

In the same vein, what's yellow and goes back in time?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The train to Limburg

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Heh, try the Maastricht-Liege one. Top notch XVIII century technology.

Q. “Well, Mike,” said the doctor. “I can’t quite diagnose your case. I think it must be the drink.”
A. “Sure, that’s all right, doctor,” said Mike. “I know how you feel. I’ll come back when you’re sober.”


Q. Why are Irish jokes so simple?
A. So the English can understand them.


Q: What is the difference between BSE and PMT?
A: One is mad cow disease while the other has something to do with beef.


Q: Did you hear about the morning-after pill for men
A: It changes your blood group


Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip.
A: To get to the same side

Quote:

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Originally Posted by gaelic cowboy

Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip.
A: To get to the same side

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This one had me laughing.

Why are men with beards more honest?

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Because they can't tell bare-faced lies

Where would you find a rubber trumpet? (no sexual innuendos here)

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In an elastic band

What gets bigger the more you take out of it? (again, no sexual innuendos here)

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A hole

What happened to the man who stole a truck load of prunes?

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He was on the run for months

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Some Guy

Science is just a method though

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I'll have you know science has been clean for a year; have some respect.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hax

In the same vein, what's yellow and goes back in time?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The train to Limburg

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I'll just admit I laughed, I bet our spare-flemish don't like it hehe

How do you make a bandstand?

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Hide all their chairs

What nuts can be found in space?

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Astronuts

What does the sea say to the sand?

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Not much. It mostly waves

How do you make an apple puff?

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Chase it around the garden

What did the policeman say to his stomach?

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You're under a vest

Aaaaaaand finally, I've saved the best till last.

What did the mother toaster say to her son when he came in after midnight?

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Wire you insulate?