That is all.
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That is all.
Yes. Live now, don't regret.
But that would involve potentially giving up a better option.
Exciting new option that may fail (30% chance)
Old option with many, many down sides that has less chance of failing (50%)
Thoughts?
Go the first one. Make sure you have a back-up.
Never. Unless it is, in which case always.
Yes, you should.
Yeah you should, but on the other hand, maybe you shouldn't
Vote Yes to save your soul.
Also, Yesman is a good movie by Jim Carrey.
Yes, "Yes man" is a good movie.
Bought it's dvd recently! ~:)
Situation:
First option above, new girl has come into the picture. Very interesting, good sense of humour (compatible with mine, which is rather rare) quite pretty. 70% sure she's interested.
Second option...ex girlfriend.
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?t=106367
Her. Backroom thread, so you may not have access.
You may ask, why?
I still love her. I can't stop. I talked to her sunday night and did everything I could to start despising her properly, but it ended up we just talked about the first time we spent together and how happy we were.
Bad idea for first one: Shes three years younger. Which makes her 15.
I'm caught in the middle. Right now, I aim for the former and back-up meeting with the latter.
Is either a good idea?
Oh nevermind.
Make up your mind about your ex (current?) girlfriend before doing anything else.
If you really want to end the history with your (current?) ex, then just break all contact for several months.
Once you're over it, go back to hunting.
Already have. After the last post in that thread:
Next few weeks we stopped lieing to each other about everything. A lot of what i knew about her was false, but it meant the bad things she told me were false.
No contact until feb, she contacts me out of the blue and asks to see me and keep her company. Lacking anything to do on a saturday night (as usual) i agree and meet her. Discover she now smokes, drinks heavily and does illicit drugs. Oh and that night I sat waiting for her for an hour to even show up.
Another 6 months without contact.
Then another message.
"Help me I think I'm pregnant."
I help her out.
Then nothing, until now a few weeks ago. We start talking on and off.
In the last year I've seen her twice.
Sounds to me like she's abusing your friendship to help cleaning up her mess whenever a cleaner is needed.
Don't let her play with your feelings.
I'll be blunt: dump her.
And, since you're apparently still in love with her, do yourself a favour and give yourself enough time to get over it before starting something with another girl.
Theres nothing to be dumped.
I've tried. And it goes away. But then every time I get close to something new, she pops back in.
Like a tripwire.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
Are you saying she was making all that stuff up back then?
Regardless, you had a relationship, it didn't work out and it'll probably never work out. You were there for her because there were signs of a serious crisis (depression, bad situation at home). You did what you could. In the process, your relationship didn't survive.
Now, you need to be able to carry on with your life. It seems to me that as long as this girl/woman has not completely disappeared out of your life, you won't be able to.
If she really cares about you, she'll understand that now is the time for her to disappear and to leave you alone.
Right now, she's being selfish and abusing your feelings. It has to stop.
Not entirely true. She said she was :daisy:ing up and that she should never speak to me again, but I stopped her.
I don't know why.
I'm going to play D&D and think thoughts in a few hours.
I welcome any other opinions.
To all those who helped me back then, you have my sincere thanks. Because of your advice, she is healthy.
:bow:
I am with Andres. Don't put up with that.
Get out of it now before it's too late.Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
:2cents:
As Andres said. She is being selfish, and abusing your trust and emotions. Please, for your own sake do not go back to her. Yes, it's nice to think about helping people out, but in a situation like this where you now have very little to do with her you should think of yourself first.
On the other issue, 15 seems a little young. You are 18 correct well, 18 /2 = 9 + 7 = 16, which is sort of downward limit. However, I'm not here to judge and at the end of the day you should do what feels right by you.
Nah, being an 18 year old male is being youngQuote:
Originally Posted by Psychonaut
Its out of it, yes Rythmic, but...:shrug: She doesnt act her age.
shes 16 a month after i'm 19.
Point is probably moot. I mean, I'm more popular here than IRL right now (side effect of work) and I'm not exactley loved here. :beam:
Nonesense! Your always on my top list.... Right after Flaxie :clown:Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
As I should have said. If you like her, you should go for it, the age gap won't matter.Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
Edit: Chin up lad. You're a good bloke and don't you dare forget that.
I can't take that straight.
If you lived in any other state...
:grin2:
This all hinges on if I pass my driving test on thursday.
I need to pass for this, for life in general, and to show that techs beat salespeople (sales manager took his test today, failed. entire service team needs me to pass >_>)
Well, I was originally going to offer my standard "apply game theory" advice to the situation, but this thread turned serious fast. :sweatdrop:
Definitely stay away from #2, and don't feel bad about it either. You've done all you can. Nobody will fault you for it. Appeasing her furthermayWILL drag you down with her. From what you've told me and said in other threads (assuming it's the same girl) I'd give #1 a shot. You seem happy about/with her, which is all you can really ask for. :yes:
Dump the crazy one. Throw it in the sane one.
While I appreciate why the others have said the things they have, I also appreciate that you are in a difficult emotional position.
Consider this: Why did you love her, what were those things, and are they still there? It sounds to me like she is no longer the gilr you love, and you are still in love with the memory.
I sympathise, but if she is not going to be that girl again and is just going to use you instead then you don't have anything more to do with her.
Recognising that, however, doesn't automatically leave you free to persue the oither girl.
Dude, why 15? Get a 25 year old, you'll love it until you find a girl younger and experienced enough to be your wife.
Trust me on this one, experienced girls are just incredible. And if they look good, you're in for the ride of your life. :beam:
I would say get rid of the ex, it's obvious you're her fallback guy. Go on to No Contact, don't take her phone calls, don't reply to texts or emails, if she says hi while you're walking down the street, nod and keep walking.
The young one sounds like she would be the much, much better option of the two.
It's alright I love u pever :love:Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
As far as the other stuff, I have no opinion since don't any experience with such things(no social/love life):beam:
I've often felt that myself, but...I just don't know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
Shes getting better. She's (within the last week or two) started to quit smoking and has stopped the drugs.
:gah:
That's the best way to put it.
Go to another country. Seriously.
You're looking at this from the wrong angle... Who do you think you deserve? And who is going to be the one whose there if you're going through a rough patch?Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
Food for thought, anyways.
In answer to your two questions:
Neither.
Both.
If you're so desperate not to give up on the ex-girlfriend, get back with her. You'll know soon enough if it's going to work or not (by the sounds of it, no) and it'll also give the other girl time to 'grow up' a bit to make the age gap less...controversial.
Don't let yourself get taken advantage of though. Ex-girlfriend sounds like a drama queen who always needs some crisis to be going on, it might seem noble playing rescuer but don't get stuck in the role because it's difficult to get out of. Anyway, all I feel like writing on this.
Shes lost all her friends as well now...
She caused me to fail high school...:daisy:
I like her. Even though shes changed, its easy to see the old her there. Its beginning to win back. Plus...shes helped me...a lot. in the same way I/the backroom helped her.
The younger one also strongly reminds me of a girl I used to go out with, before I was on here. Different enough for it not to make me think I only like her because she reminds me of the other, but close enough that maybe I do.
:laugh4:
Good fun.
Leave her. You are too young to let women ruin your life. That should come around age 30. :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
Leave. Run. Never go back.Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
I must be getting annoying by now, but I haven't been happy since I was with her. Best period in memory, that was.
:no:
Guess I'll just have to go have a better one. :smoking:
When I was your age (that makes me sound old :shame:), I was in almost exactly the same situation.
My first year at uni, I fell in love like I've never had fallen in love before.
We had a very short relationship, but it didn't work out. She wanted to stay friends. Fine by me (what a naive idiot I was :wall:).
She was always depressed, claimed that she visited a psychogolist, claimed that she had been raped by her previous-previous-previous boyfriend and "now it's all coming back to haunt me, boohoohoo", her best friend was going to commit suicide, she wanted her parents to divorce because of too much arguments, she was depressed because her cat died, she was taking drugs, ... (Except for the drug taking and the dead cat, it all turned out to be lies or at least gross exaggerations, as I learned years later, when I accidentally stumbled upon her best friend and her brother on the train.)
I was always good enough "to be there for her", always hoping we would get back in a relationship and it would work out well.
It didn't. And I'm very, very happy about that.
My best friend saw what was happening back then, and after standing and watching at the sidelines for a few months, he couldn't stay silent any longer and he called me an idiot, yelled at me, gave me a mental and physical slap in the face (I hit back and then we went out and got drunk :laugh4:) to wake me up.
I followed hisordersadvice and broke all contact with that girl. It was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.
Thinking about it, many people were giving me signals to get rid of her back then, but I ignored it or explained it away, somehow.
Don't be the idiot I was.
Get rid of that woman, she sounds exactly like the girl I used to know so many years ago. You deserve better. Or better put: nobody deserves to be in the claws of such a :daisy:
sweetest way to dieQuote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
Who woulda thought that when reversing, that if you didnt look through the back, you instantly fail your driving test.
Silly me for using mirrors.
LOL are you a pedo pever?Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
18 year old....or 15 year old whos 3 years younger than you.......is it that hard?
but drug use and attempted suicide....i have a friend whos girlfriend was just like that; she did drugs, drank, and smoked, until finally he dumped her for it. after swearing that she would stop he took her back.
than she started again, and that was her last chance.
people like that dont ever change, no matter what you do. if you want to be around a drug-using, alcohol drinking, smoking pregnant chick thats not my business to tell you not to.
ask me? I say drop em both: 1 is jailbait and 1 seems like a loser.
Pedophilia is a desire for pre-pubescent children. Ephebophilia would be a proper descriptor, but the ages are so close that it hardly matters.
She comes of age in a few months, so the low age is not the factor.
Yes PI, I am a pedo.
I had a post written but the sheer....I don't even know. I can't relpy without insulting you PI, so I say nothing.
:bow:
I'm not going to insult your intelligence, even though the temptation is terribly difficult... I'm 5 years older than my wife.Quote:
Originally Posted by Prussian Iron
My Father was 16 years older than my mom,
my sister in law is 14 years older than my brother...
You get the picture, now all you have to do is grow up a bit.
Plus the other one is 19 now.
WOAH.
oh no, thats not what i meant at all. what i meant was the fact that he said she was 15. my mom is 10 years older than my dad.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakizashi
no cougar jokes please
the one who is older and was doing drugs and stuff?Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
Yes that one.
So, shes 15. 3 year age difference, fine.
But I bet a score (practising my english english) that she's more mature than you.
well...yeah....girls mature faster than guys and i'll be 15 in 6 months.
its not the fact that shes 3 years younger, its the fact that shes underage. 24 year old and 21 year old going out? fine. 15 year old and 18 year old? very wierd. i personally wouldn't let my daughter go out with a guy whos 18 when shes 15. would you?
half plus 7 rule man. that means you shouldnt be going out with anyone under 16 ATM.
and this chart:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...p-rule.svg.png
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_dis..._relationships
I doubt you'd have a daughter. :rolleyes:
I'm aware of that chart.
However her last boyfriend (unsure of time) was 21. She may have been 14 at that point.
:shrug:
18 and 15, completely normal. Had sex with a 13 year old when I was 18. Shoot me.
i meant when i have a daughter. i wouldnt let an 18 year old son go out with a 15 year old either.Quote:
Originally Posted by pevergreen
what country are you in that no one cares about a 7-year age difference, when that amount of time is half of the girls age?
jesus christ......i think you guys are just trying to screw with me......Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
Nope, I am not. Slept with just about every girlfriend of my sister. There is nothing wrong with that, a guy of 18 is pretty much on the same level. Call the policeQuote:
Originally Posted by Prussian Iron
Actually, I think there's quite a lot wrong with that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
I also think Prussian Iron was being a bit of a jerk, but that's by the by.
Bottom line Pever, if you are still hung up on your old girlfriend, regardless of how bad she is, you can't commit to anyone else with any hope of success.
I suggest you resolve your conflicted feelings before doing anything else, with anyone else.
Well our governement disagrees, sex is legal starting from 12. And it was a good time not a snack ,I still have happy feelings about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
pever you need to start a new chapter. This new girl sounds very good, why would you pass that up for something that may end up in regeret.
Don't let the wrold pass you by for what might be.
'Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
i wasnt trying to be. its just i am against the idea that its ok to just go out with/have sex with people who are just becoming pubescent/are in the middle of it.
and the other half to pever.....unfortunately this is true. if you have feelings for somebody strongly enough, you'll not be able to have a real relationship with anyone else.
well, sex is legal no matter what our age is, its the age of consent that you are thinking of. you mean that once you are 12 you can do anyone you want, right?Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
can we not talk about 12 year old sex anymore please?
Her age is less the issue for me than having sex with one of your sister's friends. Age gap on the other hand is a big issue for me, older men who associate with younger women are often predatory in nature.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
predatory me, no I am not.Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
I didn't say you were Frag, I was just making the distinction.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
You have to understand that the Nethrlands isn't like the US, we are completely different when it comes to certain things. Much the same, but different.Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
Considering he's a brit I'm sure that'll be comforting :laugh4:Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
And again, not American. For Pete's sake, this is the second time you've done this this month alone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
No offence to our American friends, but it's irritating.
In any case, a 30's or 40's year old man preying on girls in their teens/early twenties is considerably lacking in class.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
you're welcome!Quote:
Originally Posted by Strike For The South
Well, I saw your post, and I thought of putting something like, "Strike remembers" (which sounded offensive to you) or "The Americans themselves can tell (maybe offensive in general).Quote:
Originally Posted by Strike For The South
So I copped out, sorry.
It's nice yto know someone does bother to pay attention, though.
Any attention for me is good attention.Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
I wasn't held enough as a young girl.
If she is older then 17 what's the problem, old enough to fend for theirselves. I am 32, I'll sleep with a 17 year old girl. I will however never abuse anyoneQuote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
Neither was I, but like any man, it make me hard as Iron; then a woman broke my heart and I became like unto steel.Quote:
Originally Posted by Strike For The South
:knight:
Not all 17 year olds make good choices (most make bad ones), if you are trying to pick up 17 year olds you are pitting your own experience against their relative naivity. Also, there's no chance of a relatio nship, so the whole exercise is cynical.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
Not cool really. I'm not quite 23 and I know it would be easy for me to wow 17 year old girls, I prefer a more even playing field.
I would never do such a thing, behaviour like that isn't exacly my thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
This thread is quickly moving into the backroom arena.
Suffice it to say, I don't think Frags, nor the Netherlands is in the wrong on this one. Elsewise, we would have a much smaller prison population of just over 18 sex offenders. The argument is a dubious one at best.
Many people never grow up.
So we can never have sex with them? :bigcry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Beskar
People ('women' would probably land me some points) make poor relationship choices into their 30s and beyond. You're making a fair point, but older women can be similarly 'duped'.Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
This is more about intentions, IMO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beskar
Fair points, but what kind of man in his 30's tries to have sex with a teenager, I mean actually walks into a club/coffee shop etc. and goes for a woman so much his junior?Quote:
Originally Posted by Craterus
My sister is 18, I wouldn't go below that age now, to be honest at (nearly) 23 I'm not comfortable with going after teenagers any more, they're just so "young" compared to women in their 20's. Their outlook etc. is often totally different.
Why not? I would never take advantage of her, but 18 isn't unnacceptable to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
As long as he intends to go about it the right way and treats her with respect, I don't really have a problem with it. As long as both parties are happy, it's nobody else's business.Quote:
Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
I understand what you're saying and I imagine a fair proportion of the guys in relationships like that are pretty sleazy but I don't think an age-gap is something that is intrinsically wrong.
in adults, no an age gap is not wrong. my 45 year old mom and 36 year old dad have been together for 10(11?) years, and they've almost never had any problems. the problem is that a 30 year old going after a teenager is not only creepy, it would never be a real relationship.
even at 14 1/2 i can tell you it is hard to put up with teenage girls; they squeal and scream for no reason all the time. no way a 30 year old is going to have a relationship past sex with that.