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Unfortunately, our automated tournament system does not allow for more than 8 players in a double elimination tournament, and we have 9. Thus, a bit of intelligence is required to fix this problem. Since all the other competitors have difficulty just remembering to breathe, I have put my towering intellect to work on this problem and come up with the following solution. An off-site bracket system has been used to generate the starting bracket, which is as follows:
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/images/tanukibracket.jpg
The bracket was generated randomly, and the match-up of phonicsmonkey v Andres is because fate hates them. It has nothing to do with the fact that phonicsmonkey himself caused this problem by signing up late, and that I hate Andres and wish him great pain and suffering.
Once the following matches have been played, we will input the results into the Tanuki Tournament Bracket on the forum utility and conduct the rest of the tournament in the automated bracket itself:
A) phonicsmonkey v Andres
D) issaikhaan v Monk
Loser of A v Loser of D
You may now all worship me for fixing yet another problem caused by the Org Staff, without any help whatsoever. Honestly, I think they would probably drown in their own spittal within a week if I wasn't here.
should seriously get live casts of these games :P and the winner should play against a seasoned MP vet <_<
https://i113.photobucket.com/albums/...in-finland.jpg
Kagemusha attempts to psych himself up before his match against GH. Of course, we all know that it's all for nothing.
ahhhh..... Why was I borne so late.....
I could have given you "Nigel's notorious nonsense" or something similar.
Oh, well, as always this should be great fun to watch. :clown:
P.S. I really would like to know how therother pronounces his name.....
https://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e...nNewJersey.jpg
GH and his boys are too busy to prepare for the coming annihilation and utter whooping they are surely going to receive. Poor lads!
...not fair. :stare: :laugh4:
Well there you go::grin2:
https://img809.imageshack.us/img809/...rchiefnewj.jpg
https://i156.photobucket.com/albums/...ing/TheLaw.jpg
It's pronounced "the rotten". He eats too much mexican food.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nigel
Where's that phonicsmonkey? Where is he? Come over here so that I can destroy you!
I have played 2 (TWO) MP games already and so I can call myself a veteran. I lost those two games on purpose! Now, I'm here for some SERIOUZZZ BUSINEZZZZZ.
The monkey must die :boxing:
With a mild, geographically indistinct Scottish accent...Quote:
Originally Posted by Nigel
Or you could go here.
If a gallant knight emerges on the field I may deign to bestow a scarf for him to wear as a mark of my favour. If this happens that champion is required to win and anyone getting in the way will be discreetly hairpinned. :hairpin2:
Should no suitable champion emerge, I shall graciously sit on the sidelines and throw peanuts. :loads peanut catapult:
Well that magnificent cow made of tin decided to call me "girly man", so i dont mind loosing rest of my limbs defending the honour of your froggyness. :viking:
She asked for a gallant knight, not a flouncy maiden who faints when she hears a disagreeable word.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kagemusha
https://img8.imageshack.us/img8/2425...acec53df2o.jpg
Guess that rules out all shysters then...Quote:
Originally Posted by TinCow
Attachment 1308
On the contrary, sir, disagreeable words are my weapons! Also, weapons are also my weapons.Quote:
Originally Posted by therother
https://img824.imageshack.us/img824/5092/isay.jpg
https://i201.photobucket.com/albums/...ytw/badass.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Andres
She can hang your metallic cowhead on her wall once im done with you, while i think Greg "the Dragon" will take care of you so i dont get the pleasure.Maybe we can use your head as a bucket at camel stables so there is some use for it!:viking:Quote:
Originally Posted by TinCow
For spectators, we have done an informal survey of our gaming experience. Here is a complete list of all the TW MP battles each of us had ever played before this Tournament started:
Andres: 2
issaikhaan: 4
GeneralHankerchief: 2
Gregoshi: 0 (from MTW to TWS2, he played a few in STW)
Kagemusha: 2
Monk: ?
phonicsmonkey: 0 (but has played several drop-in games as part of the Mod v Mod MP Campaign)
TinCow: 2
therother: 0
ouch :D don't you guys want at least a 5 minute lesson? <_<
I'm grabbing popcorn for this :laugh4:
No, that would spoil the fun!Quote:
Originally Posted by AggonyKing
EXIT STAGE LEFT.
EXIT STAGE RIGHT.
THERE IS NO PLACE TO RUN! ALL THE FUSES IN THE EXIT SIGNS HAVE BEEN BURNT OUT. AND THERE'S ONLY ONE STRAIGHT AND NARROW PATH TO THE NEXT BRACKET, AND IT DEALS WITH PAIN AND DESTRUCTION
YOU, ISSAIKHAN, WILL FEEL THAT PAIN, FEEL THAT DESTRUCTION WHEN WE PLAY. AND I WILL, TAKE VICTORY FOR MYSELF, TAKE IT TO PARTS UNKNOWN. LOAD THE SPACESHIP WITH THE ROCKET FUEL. LOAD IT WITH THE WORDS. BECAUSE AFTER WE PLAY: VICTORY WILL. BE. MINE.
https://i.imgur.com/1n1Jo.gif
My dearest Monk, it seems you have lost your way
The longest night shall by comparison pale
When finished, I will make your arrogance pay
Your soldiers shall be slaughtered and you shall fail.
You guys are mods? This place is better then a nuthouse filled with dwarves and monkeys. That's on fire. In the middle of a plain filled with camel-ridding mongooses. And I do mean this literally!
This thing hasn't even started yet and I'm hooked!
[false bravado]This is pointless. I'm doomed. TinCow even knows it - he's already smack talking with Kage on the other end of the bracket. I'm just a splash screen for his next round.:shame:[/false bravado]
You will be crushed TinCoward!! Crushed! Doom! Doom is upon you! A crushing doom! Crushing and dooming is in your future! And woe! I can't forget woe! A woeing, crushing doom of hopelessness awaits you! Ooooo, hopelessness too! Woe, Crushing, Doom and Hopelessness are the Four Horsemen of your Apocalyptic Fate. Muhahahaha!
Okay, so I can't talk smack either. :shrug:
Are you talking smack about me and Andres?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashurnasirpal II
LOL! Possibly, then again, I don't know you guys so maybe it's more the camel-ridding mongooses :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by phonicsmonkey
No, only about you, you weakling midget monkey. I will crush you under my heels and you will be grateful that I don't do anything worse with you!Quote:
Originally Posted by phonicsmonkey
Lies!Lies! Yesterday evening i crushed twice the armies of Andres! I crushed them all! Burned their villages! Drowned his warriors in lakes and rivers and even sacrificied his pet poodle to the God Of War Hachiman! There is no stopping me anymore!Quote:
Originally Posted by TinCow
First of all, I lost on purpose. It's part of my devious plans to win this tournament. I feel safe revealing my secret plans out in the open, because, senile as you all are, you probably already forgot the last sentence you just read.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kagemusha
Secondly, we played on the rice fields map, there are rivers nor lakes on that map. You were probably drunk again and worshipped your toilet on your knees after the game. The only things you drowned was your half digested meal.
Thirdly, I do not have a pet poodle :stare:
No you dont.Not anymore! And yes there were rivers!Rivers of Beer and Vodka!Refreshng my armies, tired of running around chopping off limbs and heads of your routing rabble!:charge:Quote:
Originally Posted by Andres
I'd double-check those rivers if I were you. I know I spiked one of them with Heineken.
There, there. All men except me have inadequacies; it's okay to admit them. This is a common problem amongst men your age. Sometimes it is medically related, and sometimes psychological. Either way, it can be treated. You are not alone. In fact, I am almost certain that several other Tanuki Tournaments competitors suffer from many inadequacies of their own. For example, I have it on good authority that Monk has a third ear that is located on his butt, while 'khaan thinks people are intimidated by poetry. But we must not hold these things against them. They cannot help being the horrible, disgusting creatures that they are. We must instead accept them for what they are and help them overcome their baser natures by beating them repeatedly and viciously. And by viciously, I mean serious, mentally scarring defeats. Defeats that will be so devastating to their souls that it instantly changes their entire lives, and forces them to abandon all that they had previously held to be good and holy. After they have been broken down to the mental equivalent of amniotic goo, they can then slowly attempt to rebuild themselves. It will take them decades to recover, and they will never be fully human, but with sufficient effort and determination they might eventually be able to straighten their stooped backs, peer out through their single cataract-ridden eye, and see the beauty of the sun that shines on their betters. On that day, I will shed a single tear of joy for what they have gained.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregoshi
I like this one, he has the right mindset. :yes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashurnasirpal II
Camels, camels, camels, camels, camels....
:thinking2:
I don't know what's worse. Seeing GH drinking his nasal mucus and calling it beer, Kage drawning in a river of Heineken and calling it beer, or TinCow.
Quiet down before I beat your crippled drunken dwarf behind black and blue with my monkey hammer. And while you're at it, why don't you try moving to a country that has a functional government once a decade or so? Maybe then you'd be in a better time zone for me to fight you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Andres
(Hey, do you think if we keep talking smack long enough we can avoid actually having to fight these battles?)
At the very least, nobody will pay attention to our actual performances...Quote:
Originally Posted by phonicsmonkey
Only losers need a government. Real men don't need no government. With my left thumb, I defeat whatever army your "functioning government" can throw at me. And to defeat you in an MP battle, I only need to blink with my right eyelid.
Right, I warned you!
https://i201.photobucket.com/albums/...ytw/images.jpg
Such vile act can only be rectified with blood! This i could not have foreseen coming even from you.:sick2:Quote:
Originally Posted by GeneralHankerchief
I should have known better than to pick a fight with a content manager.Quote:
Originally Posted by Andres
EDIT: double post
Fear Gregoshi. He killt my Donkey
In the interests of full disclosure I should reveal that I played a practice match against GH yesterday and triumphed gloriously.Quote:
Originally Posted by TinCow
Fear me, belgian dwarf!
Only pansies need practice, as that means you're not already the best. :stare:Quote:
Originally Posted by phonicsmonkey
We'll see about that...Quote:
Originally Posted by TinCow
*** reads everything about exploits, cheating and dirty tricks honorable players aren't supposed to use ***
:book:
Very noble of you to read all that to ensure you don't accidentally use any of it against me!
I went and got a new kimono for this event so you'd better make it worthwhile. :hairpin2:
Looking at that list of player experience I don't think my peanut catapult is adequate. :starts browsing a catalogue of peanut cannons, looking for a nice model which combines rapid fire with high accuracy:
Aren't you people meant to be killing each other or something? Let me guess - you didn't read the instructions before assembling your armies and now all the heads are on backwards and half of them have arms instead of legs? :sigh: Typical. Men!
But of course. I will also NOT try to bribe my opponents with a free Ikko-Ikki DLC to lose on purpose.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonicsmonkey
Some of us (me) are civilized. Gregoshi and I have agreed that he will die on Sunday. That way he can have one final weekend to say goodbye to his loved ones. It is only polite.Quote:
Originally Posted by frogbeastegg
I'll take that bribe!Quote:
Originally Posted by Andres
And Froggy, the problem is that Andres' and my armies have been asleep when the other has been awake, and vice versa, if you follow my meaning.
But we are scheduled to clash on Saturday.
You mean the org only has enough rechargeable batteries for one set of soldiers? Terrible, what a state of affairs! We need to do a donation drive.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonicsmonkey
Yes, timezones, but that's not as fun ;p
I suggest phonicmonkey switches on his PC, hosts a battle with the ultra super secret password "Banana juice on Friday afternoon, but only during Summer and at beach volleyball happenings" and then goes to sleep. He'll probably perform better when sleeping then while being awake anyway.
I'll join the battle and willprobably loseBEAT HIM AND REDUCE HIS ARMY TO A BLOODY PULP!!!
You guys are awesome.
Make sure to save the replays for us all to wach.
It is a button that appears below the Victroy/Defeat splash screen immediately after the battle - just in case you have not found it yet during all your past MP battles :wink:
issaikhaan and I met on the field of battle today, best 2 of 3 to decide the winner. The result?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Replays to follow soon, I'll edit this post in two hours when they get done uploading. Even compressed fraps footage takes forever to get onto youtube. So check back soon and watch us flail around hilariously!
http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198020295894
cAN i JOIN?>
can you post the actual replay files as well ^_^ not just videosQuote:
Originally Posted by Monk
Sure ~:)
I'll attach them to this post, you should be able to download them that way.
It's for Org Staff only, sorry. Regular members might accidentally take it seriously. :grin:Quote:
Originally Posted by Takeda Shogunate
How did it go?Quote:
Originally Posted by Andres
ggs Monk and issaikhaan :)
I would recommend to use classic mode in the future, that way you all have more units to make funny games with :D
Probably a good idea. I logged in only to find that my avatar got reset somehow, so all I had availible was ashigaru, Light cav and bow samurai ~:(Quote:
Originally Posted by AggonyKing
Khann was a sport and agreed to play with similiar units.
Monkey 2, Belgians 0
I'll upload the replays if anyone can tell me how to find them...
Congratulations, monkey :bow:
Saved the replays, if somebody could be so kind to explain how to make them available.
You can find saved replays in (win 7) C:\users\<username>\appdata\roaming\the creative assembly\shogun2\replays
Appdata is hidden so you may need to enable hidden files first. ~:)
Here are the replays of our titanic struggle.
That's 1 for the Throne Room. Now go kill everyone else Phonics. :D
In news that surely is not of interest to anybody, Kagemusha has triumphed over GeneralHankerchief 2-0. The first battle was cut short due to connection issues, but it was mutually agreed upon that Kage had the upper hand and I conceded the game to him. For the second battle, we agreed on a daimyo-only duel that had... horrific results. Nicely played, Kage! :bow:
Replays
Thank you for the games GH! :bow:It was indeed noble act to save the rest of your armies by sacrificing yourself and your retainers.~;) Now where is that Cow with his tinhead! No doubt training with the Aggony´s!:viking:
Congratulations Kage. Since you have your heart set so badly to meet TinCudchewer, I guess I could let him "beat" me.
I am busy preparing by not preparing. I don't want my mind cluttered with pre-conceived notions as how the game is supposed to be played. I want my battle creativity to flow in the moment - using pure inspiration to achieve the acme of my skills.
Your strategy is inferior. I am preparing by playing The Witcher 2. I can now kill dozens of men with but a single soldier. Imagine what I will be able to accomplish with an entire army!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregoshi
Gregoshi's humor was no defense against the might of the cow! He falls 3-1 in a best of 5 series. All were classic battles. Rules were as follows:
Battle 1) Regular classic
Battle 2) Artillery duel - 8 mangonels each
Battle 3) Ninja Madness - All ninjas, with night, rain, and fog
Battle 4) All gunpowder - All units must be matchlocks, bomb throwers, rockets, or cannons. Max 2 cannons per player.
Replays here. I highly recommend watching the ninja battle, it was awesome.
Also, once Andres and Monk play, I can put all this on the real bracket.
Did you loose an eye in the match or why your face is covered in blood?Or just too much single malt last night eh?:smart:
That is blood! The blood of my enemies! Or it would be if I had enemies. Which I don't. Because everyone likes me. So, I guess it's really the blood of my friends.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kagemusha
It always helps to understand that ninjas have a "stealth" ability, which I didn't until near the end when it was too late. BTW, my ninjas did not think it was "awesome", though as a theme battle, pajamas, stealth, night, rain and fog are hard to beat - and see.Quote:
Originally Posted by TinCow
I still don't understand how I won the artillery duel as I don't think I figured out how to get my mongonels to fire for the first minute or two. Or, if they did fire, I didn't see it - all I saw was incoming fire.
If if is worth watching - be it for awesomeness or just plain fun - would you consider making a video of it ?Quote:
I highly recommend watching the ninja battle, it was awesome.
I'll see what I can do.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nigel