Across the Waters: A Story of the Migration

[General Appo]

I know I´ve already said it, but I´ll say it again. I love this AAR. Shame it´s dead.

[Theodotos I]

Okay, all readers and enjoyers(is that a word?) of this AAR! It has once again been entered in the TWC AAR of the Month Competition. The link is here:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=196699
The voting will begin the first of the month. Please show your support by voting. The last two months, it has landed in fourth place. This is the month we must attain victory. Go vote, my readers!

[MarcusAureliusAntoninus]

I've voted for you the last couple times and shall again.

[Theodotos I]

I've voted for you the last couple times and shall again.

I'm honored. Didn't even know you had been reading. As it turns out, I've voted for you as well. Nice little mutual admiration society we have here.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Nice bronze medal, MAA.

[MarcusAureliusAntoninus]

Thanks. You deserve to win. I think the size of your AAR, which is mostly text, scares off many of the casual AAR readers that do a lot of the voting over at the TWC.

[Roka]

i would vote for this AAR if i could, i feel like iv lost something important since this AAR was concluded

it could of couse be my new found inability to walk around unassisted that i gieve for, but then again it could well be the AAR

[BerkeleyBoi]

So I got around to reading your AAR and wow, it's epic. MAA is right about the intimidation of a lot of text, but it's really well written! I mean the dialog isn't cheesy corny stuff ripped from movies, the descriptions of people and battles are sharp and vivid without becoming overly self-embellishing, and although there are few screenshots, they are used in a way to augment the text instead of the other way around, which is what most AARs (especially my own) do.

I'll definitely be voting for you as well.

[Theodotos I]

All right, everybody, the time has come! The competition is on! Get out the vote!
Thanks for all of the comments, I will reply to them when time permits.

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=202913

[Theodotos I]

@MAA: I've wondered the same thing myself, but a novelist by trade, I'm far more comfortable working with words than I am with pictures. I trust the read will reward those who choose to plunge themselves into it. Thanks.
@Roka: Man, your comment is almost enough to make me write another AAR. I've got an idea for an AAR based around Deus Lo Vult, but I just don't have the time to commit right now. I feel bad about it though. If it's not intruding into your business, do you mind me asking what happened to you? It grieves me to think that tragedy has befallen any one of my readers, so much the more my Scottish friend. My prayers are with you.
@BerkeleyBoi: Ah, my comrade in failure. One of the few writers I've ever known on this forum who's been willing to fight out his AAR to the bloody end, and to the death of his character. You may not know it, but your Spear and Shield AAR was one of the first really good AARs I read upon my arrival on the Guild, and I drew inspiration from it for my own story. Therefore, your praise humbles me beyond words. I've enjoyed writing for a number of years now, but this was the first story I ever attempted in the first person. Writing is something I hope to do on a professional level if I can find the time to complete my current project, an excerpt of which will be going out to both you and MAA. Good luck, my friend.

[Irishmafia2020]

I was honored to be able to to vote for this AAR on TWC. I hope that your hard work and natural talent receive their deserved attention. Unfortunately I haven't read the end of this entertaining piece of work to its final chapter, but I plan on giving a test next week, which should allow me a day at work when i can spend most of my time internet surfing and reading this fine AAR. I apologize for not keeping up with this story, but my students arrived at the beginning of August, and combined with the fact that my RTW disc was too scratched to play with (and I developed Dominions 3 addiction) I stopped being able to enjoy EB. Recently I bought a new Empire TW capable computer, and today i saw a copy of RTW for 20$ and bought it - so you'll probably see more of me on the forums again. Either way, I am glad that that this AAR made it into the award contest, as it remains the most well written story inspired by a game that I have ever read. Good luck....
IM2020

[Theodotos I]

Glad to hear from you, my old friend. I figured important things had kept you away, but I'm honored to receive your vote. I trust the rest of the story lives up to your expectations and that you'll let me hear your opinion, good or bad. And another AAR may be in the offing, I'm not sure. I desperately need to focus on my novel for at least another solid month, but I'll be back one of these days. The ideas just keep coming. . .

[Joszen1]

I started reading this AAR yesterday. I think it is great! You did ask for comments though so here's two critiques: (1) I'm not too much of a fan single-protagonist, first-person perspective only, sometimes the most interesting human content comes from the 'between' of multiple people's perspectives. Not to give you extra work, just a personal preference maybe. (2) It seems like our hero had VERY long periods of just lurking-without-personal-development -like non-posting lurkers maybe. For example he is a smith in southern Ireland for years, but when he finally moves on he is still ruminating over the same personal dilemha. I get that is constrained by the turn/game-progression but still, wouldn't want that in a novel. Doesn't seem to achieve the realism you saying you're seeking. That said, it was awesome! Post another one!

[Theodotos I]

First of all, thanks for posting. I personally never imagined anyone in South Africa reading something I had written. That's pretty neat.
Secondly, I agree with everything you wrote. As I said several times through the story, this was my first attempt at a first-person story. All my commercial work is in the third-person, a mode I personally prefer. However, for AARs, the first-person is better, IMHO.
I agree with you on the blank periods. I find his continued struggle realistic, because there are areas in my life where I still face the same struggles as I did five, even ten years ago. Some things never change. But in a novel, I would never leave that much dead space. However, I had a feeling if I posted up ten chapters without a solitary thing happening in-game, I would get squeals of protest from the forum. This AAR ended up being wordy enough as it was. However, you make an excellent point. In a novel, it wouldn't fly, and in a novel, I'd never do it that way.
Also, welcome to the Guild. There's a bunch of good AARs on here, and I may write another one myself one of these days.

[Joszen1]

Thank-you for the welcome. South Africa is a little less exotic than it may seem, we have probably about 5 million people living in what could easily be called the 'first world' were such a term in any way appropriate and not demeaning to millions of human beings. These people live pretty much as middle-class Americans, north-western Europeans and Australians and New Zealanders. That said, if you bump into another South African posting it may be best to let them know they're not the only one! I hear your reple and respect it, I am not totally convinced but I have less experience writing so what would I know?! I would like to start my own AAR though, writen as a play (brief setting in italics and everything else in dialog) documenting Roman conquests in 'the South'. I wonder though if people would be interested. Also I am not clued up at all on screen-shooting etc. so I'll figure that out first. I am also an aspiring writer (of philosophic fantasy), though for the moment I am completing a masters in research psychology. Guess I'm looking for a way to find out how good I am. Do post another AAR, but I think take a few more liberties with the game and write closer to your natural style - I imagine you writing things like Max Payne?

[MarcusAureliusAntoninus]

I read the excerpt you PMed. You sure are a good writer. Interesting topic, too. Not really what I expected but still interesting.

[Theodotos I]

@Joszen: Well, I don't particularly consider South Africa exotic either, it's just so far away. Well, that's the Internet for you. As for the AAR, I hope you go ahead and write one. I'll read it. As for screenshots, just download FRAPS, save the pictures to your hard drive, crop them with MS Paint or Photoshop if you're so lucky. Then upload them to a free photosharing site. I use Photobucket and it's always served me well. This is a good way to find out what people think of your work—although I've found that sometimes your critics just keep their mouths shut, so the view you get is unrealistically rosy. Good luck with your master's degree.
I'll PM you the excerpt of my story I've been sharing around, and you can see what you think of it.
@MAA: I'm glad you enjoyed it. The character is actually almost as introspective as Cadwalador, although you don't see it in that piece. I have about ninety pages on that manuscript so far—that's the beginning. Thanks for reading.

[Joszen1]

Thank, I'll definitely read that.
Silent critics, I hear, but working in academia you learn to be your own harsh critic too.

[Theodotos I]

Thank, I'll definitely read that.
Silent critics, I hear, but working in academia you learn to be your own harsh critic too.

Oh, definitely. You have to be, otherwise you'll never survive anywhere.

[kekailoa]

This was excellent.

Really well-done. A little bleak at times, but I read this all in one sitting, and for two hours I stared at the screen. I tried to read a different book afterwards, but it just didn't feel right. I kept feeling like I had no idea what was going on, always thinking "Where's Calwalder?" (I'm horrible at spelling btw).

I feel thoroughly exhausted by this. I don't even want to play EB tonight, because this has given me my EB fix for the week.

[Joszen1]

I read your pm, nice intro. Creates the will to read on. Not really my scene as a genre, but my curiosity was piqued. Guess I'd need to read more in order to give a proper opinion and useful critique. I guess it would be nice if the people on the other side of the ear-piece were actually Cadwalador's 21st century decendents and the guy that was shot was the last heir to Cavarillos' genes of vicious pragmatism and cruelty. With this as the pre-prologue you could then launch into writing a 749 book treatise starting with 'Across the Waters' and ending just before the prologue.

Seriously though, it seems fine, just keep writing and let me know when you publish. Still not my scene.

[everyone]

This AAR is great! just re-read the whole thing from the beginning again. I started reading this as a lurker when it started and unfortunately I didn't register and when I finally decided to register and comment, almost 2 months passed, apologies for that though.

[Theodotos I]

Thanks a lot everyone, I'm glad you enjoyed it. A brief heads-up, the TWC AAR of the Month Competition will be starting up Monday and this AAR will be entered one final time. If you're already a member of TWC and have at least fifty posts, please support. Thanks to all those who put me at second place last go-round.

[Theodotos I]

Ladies and gentlemen! May I present. . .

[Theodotos I]

Anno Domini, 1287. In the year of our Lord, twelve eighty-seven. The land once bedewed with the blood of the Aeduan vergobret Aneirin moc Cunobelin, which witnessed the gallant last stand of Cadwalador and the Brihentin, is nothing more than a farmer's field now.
The morning mist hangs low over the ground, in the distance is heard the tinkling of a cowbell. Slowly, the figure of a boy emerges from the mist, grunting as he maneuvers a cumbersome plow into place at one end of the field. The cow appears placidly at his side, grazing until he hitches her to the plow. The plow slices awkwardly into the spring sod.
One length of the field covered, the boy turns the plow. He is sweating now, his thin form clad in rags. A dirty cap nestles upon his tousled hair, the cap's original color indistinguishable from the dirt. The garb of a highland peasant, nothing more. For a peasant he is. Another turn of the field, and he is coming back. All at once, the plowshare strikes against something—metal in the ground. A shrill, foreign sound escapes the boy's lips as he pulls the cow to a halt, dropping to his knees in the fresh furrow.
His fingers touch against something long, something thin and hard. Dirty hands scrape away the earth from the object. Slowly it emerges, until he lifts it from its grave with trembling fingers, holding it overhead, the time-worn blade glinting in the first rays of a fresh-dawning day. A sword, the sword a champion, of a king. Of Aneirin moc Cunobelin. Nay, more than the sword of Aneirin—it is the Sword of Albion. . .

[HunGeneral]

Very nice

Now this would be a briliant ending - or an Epilouge.

(It might be coincidence but it reminds me abit of the Legend of Attila and the Sword of God or is this basend on some English Myth?)

Edit: just took a look at TWC. :-)

[Theodotos I]

That was stupid of me. It's now hyperlinked--the AAR is posted here on the Guild as well. Enjoy!

[gamegeek2]

This thread will live forever. Now start a Casse AAR plz! If you have time, that is. There really haven't been any Casse around lately.

[Theodotos I]

This thread will live forever.

I'd like to think so. As for starting another AAR, I already have. Check a couple posts above.

[Theodotos I]

In case anyone has missed the sequel to this AAR, it's here: The Sword of Albion. Enjoy!

[Chirurgeon]

Wow what a great read my friend. After a break I am back into EB again. Thanks for the memories it has been an enjoyable ride. You are doing a sequel and I am starting another AAR. Good times :)