I expect all my family members to be perfectly chivalrous knights who drink only the wine at Sunday mass, who are loved by the common people which obey out of reverence for their perfectness, who are prodigies in tax collection, economics, agriculture and mining, as well as siege, offensive, defensive and guerilla warfare, whose personal courage on the battlefield inspires courage in their men and unrestrained terror in enemies, oh and who have never set eyes upon another besides their own beautiful faithful wives who they impregnate every 12 months like clockwork, producing only male offspring who emerge from the womb as perfectly chivalrous knights who......