"Hello. Today we are gathered here to do battle. Regretable, isn't it, but sometimes, you know, life is like that. You have to do something that you don't want to do, just because someone is telling you to do it. I didn't want to be here myself, but then my mother told me that I'd better make a reasonable show of it all, so here we go then... "

"My brave men! Victory shall be ours, by grace of my inspired leadership. But this means I cannot risk myself in the front line. I must remain safe, guarded by you, my loyal warriors! This is not cowardice, oh no. It is prudence, the handmaiden of victory! "

"Well ride me sideways and whip me with a winkle fork, lads! There's a lot of the bastards, aren't there? Those arseweasels are here to get away from their unfulfilled, shrill wives. Hardly surprising, as they all have tiny little manhoods! Smaller than a flea on a cockroach's bum! "

But if you want the real gems, in the prebattle_speeches_subtitles file, go down to the "{Roman_Reinf_01_1}" section.

"Er, where was I? Oh yes. Attack the men, my elephants! Go for those little pink sods! Err, was there something… pass the wine, there's a good chap!"

"But beware! Beware! The enemy will be merciless, because I ate all their bees! They have not tasted honey for many a moon, and this has made them mad for revenge! To arms, my pretties, to arms! "

"And remember, they may have the Moon People on their side, but we have lovely hats. Those hats will shield us from their fearsome gaze! "

"And remember this: the owls have promised me their help in this fight! How can we lose?"

That right people, the god dam owls are coming.