Girl I'm somewhat fond of.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

There is this girl I like I used to go to school with. After 6th grade we lost contact, she stayed in public school, I went to private (Catholic school) school then off to Cyber school for High school. I recently reestbalish contact with her last summer (2009) where shes works at a local drug store me and my mother go to often.

We both are out of high school and sadly,she has a boyfriend (some native radical Serbian guy) . Fine, I can live with that. But I still... don't know, been somewhat fond of her lately, and I was thinking about taking her out to eat one day, or um, at least asking, but don't know if that would look like I'm a loony stalker or something, which is not my intention.



Advice?

[A Nerd]

I doesn't hurt to try, but the boyfriend aspect is alittle hard to overlook. You can at least pacify your yearning by getting a 'no'. You won't have to dream about a 'what if' anymore, you will know it is not meant to be. Sometimes the' wanting to be with' is worse than the 'knowing of being without'. You are still young, you can still have your memories of her, just with a different woman in the present! Make then anew, start over from scratch. Fond memories can be pleasant, but if you long for the flesh, especially with the unavailable, you will forever be in a state of dissapointment.

edit:

boyfriend (some native radical Serbian guy)

If the guy is agressive or the like, I wouldn't move in on his girlfriend either.

[Fragony]

edit, bad taste from my part. I have it.

[Ronin]

as with every other major decision that you have to make regarding a girl, rule nº 1 applies.

Rule Number 1 - Jerk off first, then think about it again.

you'll be surprised how clearer your head is after you take the edge off.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Woo her with cashews and milk?

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Woo her with cashews and milk?

It will take a lot of it!

[Major Robert Dump]

so she's rotund?

[Fragony]

as with every other major decision that you have to make regarding a girl, rule nº 1 applies.

Rule Number 1 - Jerk off first, then think about it again.

you'll be surprised how clearer your head is after you take the edge off.

Good advice, take matters into your own hands

[A Nerd]

Smile, tip your hat and let your glowing personality do the talking for you. Be sure to flaunt your plume and let the mystery of the aphrehension glowing in her eyes guide your had toward hers and take her away to a place that is only present in your imaginative intention that she will understand as the glow in her eyes dull to acceptance. Once there, you can parley over fantasy and distant possibilty that will one day be truth. All the while munching on cashews and sipping on tepid milk. The possibilities are endless, you are a king afterall, and Swissland is your kingdom. Wherever that might be...

[Peasant Phill]

I believe Strike worded it best:

Rub your muscled chest with oil. Go to the girl with some great 80's rock soundtrack on the background. Rip your shirt off and in a dramatical pose point to yourself and say: "you could've had ALL of this". Walk back out while head butting the first person you see.

(paraphrased because of my shody memory)

Apparently it worked at least once before.

[Megas Methuselah]

If you're a man, ignore the boyfriend and take her out. If you're a boy, cower in a corner.

Regrets don't float away, btw. They stay with you for life.

[A Nerd]

Regrets don't float away, btw. They stay with you for life.

Yay! I thought this had turned into a joke thread! Poor warman is worrying about love lost and we poke fun at the little cashew king! Be assertive peanut president!

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Smile, tip your hat and let your glowing personality do the talking for you. Be sure to flaunt your plume and let the mystery of the aphrehension glowing in her eyes guide your had toward hers and take her away to a place that is only present in your imaginative intention that she will understand as the glow in her eyes dull to acceptance. Once there, you can parley over fantasy and distant possibilty that will one day be truth. All the while munching on cashews and sipping on tepid milk. The possibilities are endless, you are a king afterall, and Swissland is your kingdom. Wherever that might be...

I, the King of Swissland, shall try that, I must time my move though.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

She's on the right. :)

Regrets don't float away, btw. They stay with you for life.

Amen brother

[A Nerd]

ohhhhhh...she seems worth it! Good luck to you conisseur of cashews!

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Smile, tip your hat and let your glowing personality do the talking for you. Be sure to flaunt your plume and let the mystery of the aphrehension glowing in her eyes guide your had toward hers and take her away to a place that is only present in your imaginative intention that she will understand as the glow in her eyes dull to acceptance. Once there, you can parley over fantasy and distant possibilty that will one day be truth. All the while munching on cashews and sipping on tepid milk. The possibilities are endless, you are a king afterall, and Swissland is your kingdom. Wherever that might be...

I'm preparing myself for failure, since I usually fail, but never hurts to try I guess!


8th Swiss brigade forward!!!!!!

[Hooahguy]

Maybe get into the friend zone first? If you become close friends with her than maybe she will come to you about gripes about her current BF, then you can use that to slowly pry her away from him.
Heavy risk, but the priiize..... (youtube vid, has a scene of a shirtless black guy so it may be slightly NSFW, but the first 20 seconds is GOLD)

[Rhyfelwyr]

Gah! Do not try to be a 'nice guy' and become friends with them, or they will never respect you. Do not try to be sensitive, or caring, or a good listener or whatever girls say they like, just man up and you will get attention. And let this attitude show as well... just be confident in your body language, don't fuss around with your clothing and hairstyle like you're a 12 year old girl, and for sake, do not wear skinny jeans.

I used to be very unconfident and probably had social anxiety, but I've went through an early mid-life crisis and have become paranoid and bitter with the world (especially over why I can't get a job ). But at least this has made me more confident and assertive.

And just from this, I have been approached by girls several times recently. I'm not a 'macho guy', I'm just saying do not be a 'nice guy' like hooah is saying. Also, do not be like me, I am like 'aspergers guy' lol. I ruined every chance with my lack of social skills and (probably even moresoe)my crappy manners, they really are attrocious.

If you want to approach her warman, just be direct, and offer to take her out for cashews and milk.

[A Nerd]

Approach depends on the woman. One must know alitte about her before he can plan a strategy. Too agressive when unnecessary or too meek when more aggression is needed will spell failure. A relationship depends on ones true character being shown and shared. If you act like you are not, then it will only cause problems in the future. For instance, if you pick up the girl acting all aggressive then later you let your true meeker self show thru, then she might become dissillusioned and dump you. Harmful to ones ego when you have developed sincere feelings for her. True that the woman might come to love you and accept you as you are, but such things take time, it won't happen on the first date. I like a nice honest approach such that failure is immediate and doesn't happen later when I have grown attached to her. This is my opinion, my track record isn't great, but I haven't been hurt when what I like about myself isn't appreciated or accepted by another. There will always be another. There is someone out there for everybody.

[Ronin]

Yay! I thought this had turned into a joke thread! Poor warman is worrying about love lost and we poke fun at the little cashew king! Be assertive peanut president!

Hey! girls give each other support....guys just make fun of each other!
Them be the rules!

Maybe get into the friend zone first? If you become close friends with her than maybe she will come to you about gripes about her current BF, then you can use that to slowly pry her away from him.

THE FRIEND ZONE???????
are you trying to sabotage your fellow man????

[tibilicus]

She already has a boyfriend so I'm afraid that may answer your question.

Despite the advice given to "ignore the boyfriend" I wouldn't do that. No matter how much of a jerk the guy may be you have to ask yourself, if was you going out with the girl and another guy was trying to hit on her, how would you feel? Sorry to be so blunt, but that's just my view. You could always talk to her and establish yourself in her life though. She might not be with her current boyfriend forever and if she at least knows who you are, you're doing yourself a favour. It isn't really about being in the "friend zone", just make conversation every time you see her and make her smile. If she ever does become available, you then have a better shot.

[pevergreen]

She's on the right. :)

DUDE.

Out of line.

You do not post pictures of people on the org unless you have their consent to do so.

I'd ask mods to get rid of that.

I posted a pic of me and friends (at the time, active members here) I got WPs from beirut for not getting permission.

Plus its a serious thing and does not help your "not loony" angle at all.

[Rhyfelwyr]

You could just show her this thread, then she will know how much you care about her, and she will be really impressed at how you somehow got a picture of her and uploaded it to a gaming site full of strangers.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

DUDE.

Out of line.

You do not post pictures of people on the org unless you have their consent to do so.

I'd ask mods to get rid of that.

I posted a pic of me and friends (at the time, active members here) I got WPs from beirut for not getting permission.

Plus its a serious thing and does not help your "not loony" angle at all.

I know I'm looney my friend!

[A Nerd]

I know I'm looney my friend!

Despite what has transpired, I will offer my loony friend, Good-Luck-Bear. He will join your Grumpy Bear Alliance and guide you to a (hopefully) successful courtship.

Is the forest of feelings and care-a-lot in Swissland? That is where all the bears in the Grumpy Bear Alliance come from. Well, they and the Care Bear Cousins. They are endless!!!

Your signature is oh so much fun to make fun of! :)

On to mine...perhaps you can help me find Vera? Do you know where she lives?

[pevergreen]

I know I'm looney my friend!

Ha ha ha.

I'm not joking.

[Hooahguy]

THE FRIEND ZONE???????
are you trying to sabotage your fellow man????

DUDE??????
Do you want him to get slapped?????
Lets say his first try is not sucessful. Without being good friends with the girl already, things have the potential to become insta-awkward.
No girl likes to be approached by some random guy saying "be my girlfriend" unless they are really, really desperate. And by the look/sound of this girl she is NOT desperate.
Ok, maybe saying "friend zone" is the wrong words because I know that those words in man-language, but my point is, become close friends with her before trying anything. Anyone who honestly think non-superficial girls like guys being jerks need to get their head examined. Be nice, they are people too.
Where's Secura?

[Jolt]

DUDE??????
Do you want him to get slapped?????
Lets say his first try is not sucessful. Without being good friends with the girl already, things have the potential to become insta-awkward.
No girl likes to be approached by some random guy saying "be my girlfriend" unless they are really, really desperate. And by the look/sound of this girl she is NOT desperate.
Ok, maybe saying "friend zone" is the wrong words because I know that those words in man-language, but my point is, become close friends with her before trying anything. Anyone who honestly think non-superficial girls like guys being jerks need to get their head examined. Be nice, they are people too.
Where's Secura?

It's all about the situation. Approaching her out of nowhere with that offer can be ankward. Presenting it at the right time (Like in the afternoon), and after engaging in a normal conversation, he can cut off, asking out to go to lunch at a nearby café or mall or whatever as he is starving or some other convinient excuse will be perfectly fine, even if he doesn't know her very well (They are known enough for her to accept) and if she says no, then he can just shrug it off and say "Ah damn, maybe another time.", and tie up the conversation and exit out.

[Hooahguy]

It's all about the situation. Approaching her out of nowhere with that offer can be ankward. Presenting it at the right time (Like in the afternoon), and after engaging in a normal conversation

From what Im reading is that he wants to ask her before they really get to know each other, and from some pretty nasty past experiences, asking her before becoming friends is a really bad idea, even if you rub your muscled chest with oil, go to the girl with some great 80's rock soundtrack on the background, rip your shirt off and in a dramatical pose point to yourself and say: "you could've had ALL of this" and walk back out while head butting the first person you see.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Don't listen to the guys that are saying to back down because there is a boyfriend. Let me give you a summary of a story I want to share with you. Take it or leave it.

I have been off and on with my current gf for about 6 years now. The first time we officially went out was 3.5 years ago after flirting for years and almost going out multiple times. It lasted 3 months and one week and it was because I was a terrible boyfriend, who was not mature that it failed. I wasn't really bad, just a douche sophomore in high school only about 15 at the time. About 8 months ago in my last semester of high school, she transferred into my AP Gov/Econ class after not talking to her for over 2 years. I still felt something for her and I wanted to least make up somehow for the awful person I was in our relationship so I reconnected with her and began apologizing for how I behaved earlier. As we became friends again, I realized that I wanted to be with her but as it turned out she had a boyfriend, who she had been with for a little over 5 months at that point. I fully adhered to the idea that I was going to willingly put myself into the friend zone because my time and opportunity with her was over and lost and I wasn't going to interfere with the new guy. Since this is a summary I will skip over the part where I got my inspiration but I decided after a week or two to give it a shot (this is now February instead of January) and I took her out to eat at the best pastrami place in town (I figured if I was going to get rejected I should at least have a damn good meal). Well she admitted that she still had some feelings for me but that she didnt feel right about abandoning her boyfriend for me. I said that was perfectly fine and that we could still be friends. I thought that would be the end of it, but after another week and a half of talking with her and being friends she sprung on me (complete surprise on my part) that she decided that the mature me I had become was more compelling to go with then the so-so (and still immature at 17) boyfriend she had.

Long story short, she choose me over him because I took the chance and now we will be celebrating our 6 month anniversary on the 12th of September and she says that she loves me and the person I have become.

If you feel that you can be better then what she has then go for it. I feel like it would disrespectful to hold back from her what could be the best relationship of her life because you are respecting some guys "territorial dominance" over her.

That's all I have to say. Now back to trolling.

[Rhyfelwyr]

my point is, become close friends with her before trying anything. Anyone who honestly think non-superficial girls like guys being jerks need to get their head examined. Be nice, they are people too.

So everyone that doesn't become friends with a girl before asking her out is a jerk? I know we have stereotypes where we see people as 'nice guys' or 'jerks' but the reality is there a people that are inbetween or different altogether.

I don't understand why you would become friends as if that will naturally lead onto a relationship. If anything it just seems like messing her about. Plus you don't want them to see you as a freind, but as a boyfriend surely. The former disqualifies the latter, it doens't lead to it.