Why be nice when you can can get the same by being cruel

[Sasaki Kojiro]

I think the dilemma involves getting something you (will) want (if not now then in some future), from someone else/others and taking this into account in general decision making. This is not about being sadist or saint, it is also not about opportunistic behaviour but more general decision making. So to say “no one will remember” is odd: who are you being cruel -or kind- to if not the victim/beneficiary of your choice, why should this pattern go unnoticed over the long term?

Who said it's a pattern?

Let's say I go on vacation alone, don't tip at the restaurant, act rude to the cab driver, find a wallet take the money and ditch it instead of trying to return it, etc etc then go back to my home 2000 miles away. Nothing is going to "come around" to bite me--none of my social acquaintances (who I'm always nice to) know. So that reason fails. And I find the assertion that everyone will feel the pangs of conscience to a significant degree doubtful. People are good at rationalizations.

How about someone in a racist town who is polite to the white people and cruel to the black people? Is that going to come back to bite him socially? Is he going to feel guilty about it given his upbringing? Doing the right thing would come back to bite him socially.

Basically, if your reason for being nice is some form of "what goes around comes around" what do you say to my racist? Rejecting the beliefs of the group you belong to will "come around" as well. Telling them they are immoral will "come around". So that reason just leads to "be nice to some groups, be cruel to others, based on what's socially accepted".