I just got robbed

[Husar]

Well, yeah, that's the short form, the long form is this:

I was coming home from work, just left the subway station and was halfway to my house (it's just one block) when some guy approached me and asked whether he could call his friend via cellphone or landline, he seemed like someone who wouldn't easily let go if I had an excuse, but not like a strong or intimidating person either, a bit rundown and physically weak.
So, since I don't usually decide to lie, I asked him for the number, called it on my cellphone (no way was I going to call him from my home, which was close, so by going there he would've followed) and put it on loudspeaker. he wasn't okay with that and kinda grabbed it from my hand, said don't worry etc.
Then he called again and talked to the guy while strolling along into a sidestreet, I stayed close and started to tell him to stop, he said another minute and seemed to stop, then he moved on, I started to become harsher and told him he should get done, he wasn't asking to get picked up anyway(which was how he approached me).
Then he asked whether I was healthy, I said yes, thinking if I seem strong and healthy, he won't try anything, but he did.
He took something out of his pocket and said he had HIV, and if I wouldn't just walk back home (I kinda told him it was close, at the corner before), he'd stab me in the throat/neck with it.
So I told him it's password protected anyway (4 digit code, deletes phone after ten failed attempts)and wouldn't be of much use to him anyway, he wasn't impressed of course and I said "thanks, I just wanted to help you", then went home and called the police.
Of course they had two send two officers, one of whom was a bit of a not so nice guy, didn't say much, looked around my house and asked for the bill I got with my phone etc.
I provided that and my ID, they made me sign a paper etc. and of course said it's unlikely they'll find him. Oh yes, the "nice" officer also said I'm naive, partly because I think I kinda said I gave him the cellphone, which I later remembered wasn't really true as I tried to make him talk with the loudspeaker first.

The cellphone is also insured, as I was afraid it could fall and break, I'm pretty certain the insurance also covers theft etc. but now I wonder whether they'll pay, especially if I told the police a somewhat wrong story (I was still shocked, nervous, shaking somewhat when they came).
I asked the policeman about that he knows where I live and he said I shouldn't worry, guess he was right and a junkie might forget anyway.

But if anyone has some advice, it would be appreciated.
My personal list for things to do tomorrow is as follows:

- talk to the insurance/my provider to get a new phone/ask whether the old one can be deleted remotely (there's still the code and some other programs have their own codes but still)

- have the card deactivated etc., basically have them deactivate and destroy everything they can if possible

- call some people like my boss to tell them my cellphone has been robbed

- talk to the bank, I had a homebanking program on it with my bank account number saved, it's also password protected (longer password, also deletes after three attempts, no PIN or TAN saved) and encrypted but sure is sure, want to know he can't do anything with it

- calm down, well actually that I will have to do before sleeping but I'm also incredibly hungry so will have to eat first

As I said, any advice would be greatly appreciated, I know at some points I may have been a bit naive but in retrospect he wanted to rob me, would he have believed me that I had no cellphone with me? He mentioned the landline, what if I had walked on to my front door with him behind me? Was I really that dumb? What will the insurance say? Can my somewhat detail.less report to the police become a problem? etc.



Oh yeah, at least I'm not hurt, but that isn't very calming right now.

[a completely inoffensive name]

It is just a cell phone man. You didn't get in a fight and he didn't take much more important things, like your wallet. It was isolated away from your house so he doesn't know where you are and it seem s as if everything will be cleared up with your phone company. Very, very worst case scenario is that you might have to pay for an entirely new phone. I suggest maybe finding a different, probably longer but safer way home? Or keep some sort of personal protection on you, like a small taser. Next time someone starts moving around with your property bring out your aggressive voice and if the next guy pulls the same move at least you won't have been dragged into a side street. Or at least, just be more paranoid and not hand out your cell phone to people. Sucks for any legit people, but that's life. You are lucky he didn't have a friend waiting there to ambush you.

Just mark it as a bad experience and take measures to prevent it next time, no need to worry. I doubt this incident had anything more then the short term consequence of having to deal with annoying cell phone companies. Considering how this could have gone down, this turned out for the better considering you are not harmed in any way and still have your credit cards.

All in all, you should calm down, take the rest of the day off and inform your friends or family about it. They can provide support if you need it.

[Husar]

Yes, he kinda knows that I live on the corner though, it kinda slipped out when I got more angry. Though I guess had he wanted to harm me, he would have already done so.
I know it's just a phone, just found that I could order the SIM card locked online, cost me some money though, at least he shouldn't get any facebook or other notifications anymore once it is locked(then again he should have turned it off to avoid tracking)...

I can calm down, I was hit and possibly almost killed by a truck before, seeing that come was scarier than a small guy with a needle, it's just that the guy may come back (even if unlikely as I said above) and I'm a bit worried about the insurance and the data on it, even if I did take some precautions.
Oh yeah, and then it did come a bit as a surprise as my biggest worry before that was my empty stomach and getting home, perhaps I should've been harsh but that could have lead him straight to my door as it was only around 30m away, one reason I decided to let him call in the first place (running around half the city to pretend to live elsewhere didn't come to mind, someone waiting to be picked up would have stayed in the area anyway etc. so many what-ifs )

[a completely inoffensive name]

Yes, he kinda knows that I live on the corner though, it kinda slipped out when I got more angry. Though I guess had he wanted to harm me, he would have already done so.
I know it's just a phone, just found that I could order the SIM card locked online, cost me some money though, at least he shouldn't get any facebook or other notifications anymore once it is locked(then again he should have turned it off to avoid tracking)...

I can calm down, I was hit and possibly almost killed by a truck before, seeing that come was scarier than a small guy with a needle, it's just that the guy may come back (even if unlikely as I said above) and I'm a bit worried about the insurance and the data on it, even if I did take some precautions.
Oh yeah, and then it did come a bit as a surprise as my biggest worry before that was my empty stomach and getting home, perhaps I should've been harsh but that could have lead him straight to my door as it was only around 30m away, one reason I decided to let him call in the first place (running around half the city to pretend to live elsewhere didn't come to mind, someone waiting to be picked up would have stayed in the area anyway etc. so many what-ifs )

If you perceive the guy to be a big enough threat that would want to get away from him and not have him follow you to your house, then you should not be worrying about making a plausible excuse to leave. Just get the hell out of there, run a few blocks away from your house if you have to. Do whatever to get away from the guy who says he is willing to infect you with AIDS.

Don't worry about the what-if's. What is important is how it actually turned out, and everything went better then one would normally expect.

[naut]

Phone your phone provider, every phone has an IEMI number, tell them it's been stolen and ask them to blacklist it. That way even if he figures out the password it is completely useless.

[Louis VI the Fat]

1 - Sorry about the phone, I'm glad to hear you are alright.

2 - I was mugged once, by some filthy character with an injection needle. I decided it wasn't worth risking HIV over twenty euros. No shame in that.

3 - All of the below is meant with the best of intentions:
You seriously need to man up. What's this nonsense about you worrying whether this guy knows where you live? There's only a blunt way to say this, so here goes: Husar, you're a wuss and you need to grow up or you're going to get bullied all of your life.
This useless pest NEEDS to know where you live, so he can avoid going anywhere near it for the rest of his life lest you bash his bloody skull in with the nearest blunt object you can find. He should be avoiding you from now on, not the other way round. We're not talking about a six man gang with guns here, eh? It is the junk who ought to worry about you two ever meeting again, not you. You need to look forward to that, because you're not going to be caught offguard again. You're prepared for him.

Also, and this took me ages to understand too - you need to tell somebody like that to off straight away. The guy was testing his luck, was testing you out. Bit by bit he discovered he could push you around, then took advantage of it once he understood he could get away with anything. You shall have to work on that. For starters three points:
If you say that you are making the call, then you are making the call and he can not smoothtalk/wriggle the phone out of your hand. It should've ended right there.
Never negotiate, and never let any line you've set be crossed, or they discover you can be pushed around.
You tell him once to give your ****** phone back, and then you take it. If you are not willing or capable of taking it back, then you shouldn't hand it over in the first place.

[Crazed Rabbit]

ACIN makes good points.

One thing I'll add: when shady people approach me asking for stuff, I will lie straight through my teeth at them. Never think you're under any obligation whatsoever to lend someone your cell phone or anything. It doesn't matter if they see you talking on it, don't feel obligated by what you think people expect. The simplest thing is just to say 'no'. Don't bother thinking up a reason or excuse. Say no, strongly, and keep moving (though keep an eye on them)

Importantly, you're alright and the phone was insured. Now, I'd suggest moving up the schedule for canceling the phone, changing bank account numbers, everything. Don't wait.

I think in this case (after you did agree to make the call) it would have been best to just start demanding he give you your phone back immediately after he grabbed it. Start loud and move to shouting quick - and then start yelling to the general public about stopping this 'thief' and yelling that someone should call the police. If he doesn't give it up, consider following at a safe distance.

EDIT: I'll just say that I agree with what Louis says in his own edit, the last paragraph.
This (NSFW: Swearing!) video illustrates the correct mentality. It's about a woman calling out the ass who tries to flash her on the subway.

CR

[Greyblades]

1 - Sorry about the phone.....then you shouldn't hand it over in the first place.

I have to disagree, unless husar was in or near a group of people I cant help but think that advice is more likely to get him killed than anything else. Anyone stupid enough to use a disease to get a poxy mobile telephone isnt going to be intimidated by telling them to frack off unless you happen to be built like a brick latrine or are in a group. And if that someone is willing to go to that amount of force over a harsh tone god knows what he'd do when he panics over a failing mugging.

[Crazed Rabbit]

I must disagree with you Greyblades. Telling someone, loudly and with confidence, to *go elsewhere* will let them know you're not going to be pushed around. They won't push it further, they'll look for an easier mark.

CR

[Greyblades]

That seems more likely to startle a mugger into attacking than making them run screaming. Not to mention having the confidence to tell someone off is kinda hard when he's the one with the weapon.

[Louis VI the Fat]

I have to disagree, unless husar was in or near a group of people I cant help but think that advice is more likely to get him killed than anything else. Anyone stupid enough to use a disease to get a poxy mobile telephone isnt going to be intimidated by telling them to frack off unless you happen to be built like a brick latrine or are in a group. And if that someone is willing to go to that amount of force over a harsh tone god knows what he'd do when he panics over a failing mugging.

It is not about physical strenght. I think two twelve year old girls could easily beat me up. I've never been in the least bit interested in knowing how to fight, or in any weapon whatsoever.

It is about attitude. In many crimes, victims choose themselves. Sometimes, to further complicate matters, by being too provocative in telling somebody off. A mistake that more than once caused me a good fright - I do not always find it in me to conceal my contempt for scum. Fortunately I am quite swift and understand the art of dissapearing in a crowd.

Then there is the complication that one wishes to be a kind, well-mannered citizen, willing to help others out. One should not be aggressive and rude oneself in the public sphere out of retaliation, or as a social protection. This is sadly the real cost of crime. The cost tonight is not the telephone, it is that a decent and kind man like Husar learns he can not be nice and decent. Which is a tragedy.

That seems more likely to startle a mugger into attacking than making them run screaming. Not to mention having the confidence to tell someone off is kinda hard when he's the one with the weapon.

The weapon was only pulled near the end. It wasn't even necesary, Husar had already been pushed around/strongarmed/intimidated/made advantage of.

In this case, a stern 'no' would've been best. No explanations are required, it's your phone, you do not have to excuse yourself to anybody. If you are willing to make a call for somebody, then a stern 'no' it should be when they try to take over the phone. Again no explanations or negotiations. ('Just one minute, I'll stay right here...'. Then they slowly move away, and discover they get away with that, and so they understand they can keep the phone for more than a minute too)

[Lemur]

I think two twelve year old girls could easily beat me up.

If I believed in siggies, this would go in. Immediately.

[miotas]

It's an orgah crime wave! Some made off with my wallet and withdrew $800 before I could have my accounts put on hold. Now I'm gonna have to take the morning off work tomorrow to get my licence and cards replaced and fill in an incident report with the bank so I can get my money back. To top it all off I was going to go shopping this afternoon so now all I've got to eat until I get new cards is rice and stale bread.

[Husar]

You seriously need to man up. What's this nonsense about you worrying whether this guy knows where you live? There's only a blunt way to say this, so here goes: Husar, you're a wuss and you need to grow up or you're going to get bullied all of your life.
This useless pest NEEDS to know where you live, so he can avoid going anywhere near it for the rest of his life lest you bash his bloody skull in with the nearest blunt object you can find. He should be avoiding you from now on, not the other way round. We're not talking about a six man gang with guns here, eh? It is the junk who ought to worry about you two ever meeting again, not you. You need to look forward to that, because you're not going to be caught offguard again. You're prepared for him.

Also, and this took me ages to understand too - you need to tell somebody like that to off straight away. The guy was testing his luck, was testing you out. Bit by bit he discovered he could push you around, then took advantage of it once he understood he could get away with anything. You shall have to work on that. For starters three points:
If you say that you are making the call, then you are making the call and he can not smoothtalk/wriggle the phone out of your hand. It should've ended right there.
Never negotiate, and never let any line you've set be crossed, or they discover you can be pushed around.
You tell him once to give your ****** phone back, and then you take it. If you are not willing or capable of taking it back, then you shouldn't hand it over in the first place.

I WAS willing and I WOULD have beaten him up, there are two things to consider though:

1. With all the rules and laws I'm not very keen to beat anyone up, this I consider a last resort, it never happened because he drew the needle.

2. he could have stabbed me with the needle while fighting, of course I couldn't have known that, but afterwards it's too late, he seemed VERY confident once he had his needle which was exactly why I decided to break it off there and call the police

And again, the reason I didn't go and tell him that he couldn't call was that, or at least so I understood him, he wanted to call from my cell or landline, so if I had gone the 30 meters to my door instead I would have expected him to follow me and beg me to come in, maybe even do what he did anyway and draw the needle, the door is in a dark corner as well. I decided giving him my cellphone couldn't end up worse than showing him straight away where my landline (and many other things) is, that may sound weird considering I didn't consider him a threat at that point (precisely because he was physically weaker) but I don't like to show everyone where exactly I live usually, maybe this lead to a wrong decision, maybe I prevented worse.

The whole lieing straight to your teeth is fine, I get it, but it is not my nature, my nature and usual first reaction is to tell the truth, or maybe it's just my upbringing, but it is how I am, I wouldn't take pride in being a good liar but maybe I need to learn a bit in that regard, I certainly won't be as willing the next time.

[al Roumi]

Sorry Husar, some drunk guy and his 3 mates tried to mug me for a (fake) leather jacket once. It shook me up a fair bit because it did get violent (i resisted when 1 guy was drunkenly swinging at me (sober) but 3 was a different proposal). Seems an absurd event now -with distance and time, but there's no denying it's deeply unsettling. Louis is right that you shouldn't be the one running scared but you also did the right thing in not risking yourself.

The difficult thing in the long run is that i'd find it harder to help soemone out if they asked for it. You just have to help them in a way that is safe for you. You could do with some righteous indignation, this guy ed you over and you are not going to let that happen again!

[Vladimir]

It could have been worse. You could of got shot.





I hope you feel better soon but I’m glad you feel bad right now.

That cell phone tactic seems to be international. As I was leaving school one night a black guy and his girlfriend (sorry people, it was DC and that’s how it goes) approached me. The guy asked the same question about phoning a friend. I was in an adventurous (and stupid) mood and decided to help him call two friends; none of them answered.

Now, this was on the heals of someone else getting robbed at the same location. A good guy, but short, white, somewhat submissive, and terribly out of shape. So, yea, I basically knew what could happen. Fortunately, I was ahead of them (and a head above them) and know how to act in those situations.

Usually I would just lie and say it’s being charged at home; a long way away…but was in one of those moods where God should have taught me a little humility. Oh, and the HIV virus dies once it’s desiccated. So in less the guy would have stabbed himself first then stabbed you it would have been fine. You could have confronted him with that knowledge to distract him long enough to recover your phone. It doesn’t matter if it’s true as long as it gives you a window of opportunity.

Don’t be nice to people; be good to people.

[Beskar]

Last time some one attempted similar to be, I had some change in my pocket and pointed towards a phone booth. The door got upset and I just walked away, he was going to give chase, but there were a group of people I knew coming opposite direction anyway, so he ran off.

[Shibumi]

Husar, you met a desperate person and got out of the situation unharmed. Whatever anyone else have said, bear that in mind. That is all that matters.

With this said, Louis is right about the "push around" thing. People like these are like hyenas, they sense weakness. Grow some balls next time (I mean this in the nicest possible way), and the situation will not escalate, as there will be easier victims.

However, lessons like that will only come with experience, good for you that you got that experience so cheap - me it cost a whole lot more. Also bear that in mind!

[Husar]

Well, I did grow balls once it became obvious that he was exploiting me, and when he noticed that I wouldn't just let him walk away with my phone, he drew the needle...at which point there wasn't much I could do, following him while calling the police would be fun, with a cellphone, which I didn't have.
Again, after he took the phone from my hands, nothing was obvious, he could have sued me for assault had I done much, or poked me with the needle right away...
Or he could have come to my door and forced me into my home with his needle and robbed me there, one reason I decided whatever he wanted would be better dealt with right there on the street instead of in my personal comfort zone.
Well, I was also tired and hungry, so in general I would defend my stupidity with this:

[Fragony]

If someone holds a needle I'll give him everything he wants, phone gone too bad

[Husar]

Duh, yeah, UPDATE:

So today I went to work, talked to colleagues, calmed down a bit.
Then I went to my provider and they had a lot of understanding, tried to call a friend who works for Apple even to get it locked, but apparently not much can be done about remotely blocking it or so (the SIM is already locked). Then they let me call the insurance from the shop so I wouldn't have to pay the hotline fee myself etc.
The insurance needs some things from me of course, including the police report about the complaint (if that's the right word?) I filed with the police.
So I went to the police and talked to a really nice officer who also went a bit above his duty to talk to me(also said the criminal police may want to talk to me again to get a better description of what happened, so it's not like they do nothing it seems), afterwards I went shopping and headed into the subway to get home.

Now I've asked myself whether I'd actually notice the guy if I ever saw him again, but the question solved itself when I looked towards the other door, and, believe it or not, there he was, entering the same subway wagon! My heart was pumping really fast and he seemed to notice me as well, I pretended not to have seen him best as I could and he sat down trying not to get noticed by me.
I couldn't call the police as I obviously don't have a cellphone, thought about asking someone but then there could have been a panic or an escalation had he noticed so I slipped out at the next station and ran(walked fast) back to the police station to tell them everything.
So now they're going to get the subway camera footage and will probably notify me to come look at it.

Of course now I took a somewhat different way home which may have been a bit much but duuurn, I don't really want to get close and personal with him again, especially not if he has a needle again (yes, yes, I'd beat him up if he doesn't, but last time he did).

Calming down again now, this time it's not as bad but it doesn't look like he left the area or anything.

[Strike For The South]

You should've broken his neck

[Beskar]

Husar, don't clench your rectum muscles over him, he isn't worth it.

[Louis VI the Fat]

For God's sake, man up. Still this rubbish? A two bit punk making you run, making you take a different route home. You needed to to kick him in the face, confront him, make a scene, have everybody else call the police, take pictures and video of him, whatever. You look clean cut and he looks like a junk, right?

You can't keep running all of your life. Take a stand and fight mate. The idea was for you to find him, remember? Why did you not carry a knife with you today? When you knew there was a good odds of you seeing him again? He is supposed to be running scared of you from now on, not the other way round.

At this rate, if I were this junk, I'd have you pay me a tenner every day just so you can sit in the same train as me.

Sorry, I don't want to sound all E-tough and everything, but come on eh? Don't be too scared. The guy is a junk, he is scared of the police, and of other people.

[Strike For The South]

For God's sake, man up. Still this rubbish? A two bit punk making you run, making you take a different route home. You needed to to kick him in the face, confront him, make a scene, have everybody else call the police, take pictures and video of him, whatever. You look clean cut and he looks like a junk, right?

You can't keep running all of your life. Take a stand and fight mate. The idea was for you to find him, remember? Why did you not carry a knife with you today? When you knew there was a good odds of you seeing him again? He is supposed to be running scared of you from now on, not the other way round.

At this rate, if I were this junk, I'd have you pay me a tenner every day just so you can sit in the same train as me.

Sorry, I don't want to sound all E-tough and everything, but come on eh? Don't be too scared. The guy is a junk, he is scared of the police, and of other people.

No don't carry a knife, either keep it with your fists or shoot the guy.

Serioulsy man you should've roughed him up a bit, people do not like getting hit in the face

[Vladimir]

This is just wrong. Befriend him, tell him you understand, tell him that God has a plan for him...then tell them that you booked an appointment before sending him to it.

[Strike For The South]

This is just wrong. Befriend him, tell him you understand, tell him that God has a plan for him...then tell them that you booked an appointment before sending him to it.

"YOU GO TO HELL"

"You first"

[Husar]

For God's sake, man up. Still this rubbish? A two bit punk making you run, making you take a different route home. You needed to to kick him in the face, confront him, make a scene, have everybody else call the police, take pictures and video of him, whatever. You look clean cut and he looks like a junk, right?

If he isn't a disease-ridden drug addict, what did he need my phone for again?
If he is a disease-ridden drug addict, what are the chances that he will
a) actually have HIV and what are the chances to get infected in a fight?
b) sue me for assault and have a whole train of witnesses while I have exactly zero for the robbery?

The policeman told me not to talk to him and let the police handle it and I trust him more than some pdeudo-tough guys who aren't the ones taking the chance of an HIV infection.

Oh yeah, the advice on what to do before a weapon is drawn was good I think. Just after he threatened my life I'm not going to change my opinion.

[PanzerJaeger]

Why are you guys being so hard on him? "Grow some balls"? Are you serious? You do not confront a criminal with a weapon... He did exactly the right thing.

[Crazed Rabbit]

For God's sake, man up. Still this rubbish? A two bit punk making you run, making you take a different route home. You needed to to kick him in the face, confront him, make a scene, have everybody else call the police, take pictures and video of him, whatever. You look clean cut and he looks like a junk, right?

You can't keep running all of your life. Take a stand and fight mate. The idea was for you to find him, remember? Why did you not carry a knife with you today? When you knew there was a good odds of you seeing him again? He is supposed to be running scared of you from now on, not the other way round.

At this rate, if I were this junk, I'd have you pay me a tenner every day just so you can sit in the same train as me.

Sorry, I don't want to sound all E-tough and everything, but come on eh? Don't be too scared. The guy is a junk, he is scared of the police, and of other people.

Quoted for truthiness.

That video I posted? A small-average sized woman confronted and told off a man larger than her.

Even if you don't go and knee him in the face, confront him. Other people have phones.

CR