I'm curious to see how this boils out. I returned home recently to find that an unknown creature has eaten away the heat and air tubing under my house after chewing through the outside barrier by the air conditioner. It makes lots of noise at night, and stays right under my bedroom, sounds like it is trying to come through the floor after me. I'm trying to avoid crawling down there with a buckshot pistol, but so far all other options have failed.

You could call some rednecks. They love to eat squirrels.