Hi PJ, sorry I have been busy but you deserve a reply.
You seem to be on a crusade. Crusaders often get a bit over excited and see injustice in everything.

Be they religious or social crusaders there comes a time to step back and take an objective view of things.
Passion for a topic can be good so long as you don’t let it cloud your judgment.

Anyway:

You don’t want to take anecdotal evidence? What other kind is there on this topic?

There is no “gay gene” that study was a fraud and most studies on the topic are deeply flawed. So we sensibly take peoples word for it, that they are gay.

It is possible that there are many reasons for their preferences ranging from hormonal to just plane choice.

There is no evidence that it is abnormal or an abomination. It occurs naturally in animals as well as humans. Even more befuddling is that sexual attraction can change. Someone gay may wake up one day and be straight or someone straight may wake up gay. Or more generally you may just find you feel a strong attraction to people you otherwise can’t explain. It just happens!

Homosexuals are normal human beings. They are as capable of being well adjusted in society as anyone. On what grounds should they demand exception?

Suppose a gay man wants to take his partner out to dinner for Valentine's Day. Should they just order in to avoid shocking people?
Why would this be shocking? Or are you saying that gay men need to go in drag and grope one another in public? That is just shock value, and inappropriate for anyone in a public setting, what ever their sexual orientation.

You are confusing appropriate behavior with hiding something or being confrontational.
If someone’s behavior does not fit the situation or setting, often others get upset.
Walking into a sport bar during a victory calibration and yelling your team sucks is likely to lead to difficulties, where as walking in and quietly ordering a drink is not.

Making yourself stand out can be a signal to predators and trouble makers that you are making your self available.

My credentials? You don’t want to have this contest Youngman. Free advice is in the frontroom.

Also concentrating on Federal Funding is too limiting, confusing, and only a part of the story. Most discretionary funding is passed down to the community level, it is all taxpayer money, from what ever source. Discussing NGOs and charities is much different which is about all you find above this.

My argument is that in this case the money is better spent on food banks, aid for the poor of all groups, and so on is better than funding another gay outreach group, particularly in the Seattle area.

So, if Memphis lets say, had a huge gay community with a broad range of infrastructure and groups, should Frayser also build a corresponding infrastructure or spend its money on projects that benefit a larger segment of the population, particularly the poor?

As to teen suicide the strongest indicators for that likelihood is membership in another sub culture. In fact everything you say about gays, with the exception of marriage, also applies to them.

They are Goths.

Do we need outreach and networking groups to support them too. And maybe new clauses in the civil rights laws?

I am rather undecided. What about you?