[League] The Return of Askvaard Von Pizzaguy [CONCLUDED]

[Major Robert Dump]

I do not think the chicken beef soup thing is a distraction. Therein the dish lies the key. I will eat everything

BTW did you guys know ATPG is moving to the pacific islands with me? He hasn't agree yet because he is scared of Tsunami, but he will see things my way with a little ply-by-alcohol

[a completely inoffensive name]

Vote: Beefy Because he is either being deliberately thick or simply doesn't bring anything to the table and we don't have any strong cases on anyone else right now.

[Ironside]

Vote: Zaccino

Given his claim of not getting a role pm. Either APTG hadn't sent one yet, or he got a power role. Starting inactivity could explain the low number of mafia kills as well.

[Diana Abnoba]

@ Ironside

Zaccino is a replacement player for Visor that asked to be replaced. So his "inactivity" as you put it, is not accurate.

[Diana Abnoba]

Tally as of post #334:

Monty 3- Choxorn, Seon, El Barto
Beefy 3- Arjos, Zack, ACIN

Zack 2- Chaotix, Ironside

Shooma Addict 1- edse
edse 1- Monty
Arjos 1- Dave Shack
ATPG 1- Beefy




To me I think the top 3 picks for today are wrong. So I think that there are mafia among these votes. Therefore I will vote for someone among these votes. Vote: Chaotix

[NinjaCow64]

Hey! As I said before, my vote was a joke.

It's not my fault that all the sheep want to follow me now that my name is a giant green beacon!

Now listen up everybody: we're going to lynch Zaccino, because he's acting scummy and voting for me. That is, he is acting scummy by voting for me and voting for me because he is acting scummy.

VOTE: ZACCINO

Wow! One massive flinch and an OMGUS! You're definately not mafia, Mr. Scummy Mc Scum!

Vote: Chaotix

[BSmith]

vote: Chaotix

[Askthepizzaguy]

Round will end at 1400 today, please tally for me at that time so I can advance the round when I get back....

[Ibn-Khaldun]

Vote: Chaotix

[edse]

4 Chaotix: Diana Abnoba, NinjaCow64, BSmith, The King
3 Montmorency: Choxorn, Seon, El Barto
3 Beefy187: Arjos, Zaccino, a completely inoffensive name
2 Zaccino: Chaotix, Ironside
1 Skooma Addict: edse
1 edse: Montmorency
1 ATPG: Beefy187
1 Arjos: DaveShack

13 No Vote: atheotes, Classical_hero, Csargo, Double A, Ishmael, King Jan III Sobieski, Major Robert Dump, Memnon, Skooma Addict, SouthernKing, thefluffyone93, Tiaexz, Xenoneb

[Ishmael]

vote: Major Robert Dump.

Honestly, I think most of the examples people are bandying about are just cases of regular townie cluelessness (I tend to demonstrate it myself a lot). So I'm just taking a stab at somebody who's involved, but hasn't done anything too crazy/silly/notable yet.

[Xenoneb]

Vote:Skooma
Better then not voting

[atheotes]

vote: Diana Abnoba - just a hunch

[El Barto]

Whether he lives or dies? No, I said, if he is not lynched. vote: Montmorency.

OMGUSing you this far into the game, Chaotix is. Paw of Suspicion: Chaotix.

Oh, not lynched. My bad.

It's OK, it happens. unvote: Montmorency

Chaotix I said, Cahotix it is. vote: Chaotix the flinch-test failer.

Vote:Skooma
Better then not voting

Paw of Suspicion: Xenoneb.

[classical_hero]

I need to pay a bit more attention t this. vote:Chaotix

[Montmorency]

All these people piling onto Chaotix. It must be the work of scum.

[Memnon]

Vote: Beefy

[Askthepizzaguy]

It's OK, it happens. unvote: Montmorency

Chaotix I said, Cahotix it is. vote: Chaotix the flinch-test failer.

Paw of Suspicion: Xenoneb.

I believe that this was the last legal vote. Apologies for the delay, it seems even the Hilton gets internet hiccups.

classical and Memnon are both late to vote.

[Askthepizzaguy]

5 Chaotix: Diana Abnoba, NinjaCow64, BSmith, The King, El Barto

3 Beefy187: Arjos, Zaccino, a completely inoffensive name
2 Montmorency: Choxorn, Seon,
2 Zaccino: Chaotix, Ironside
2 Skooma Addict: edse, Xenoneb
1 edse: Montmorency
1 ATPG: Beefy187
1 Arjos: DaveShack
1: MRD: Ishmael
1: Diana Abnoba: atheotes

13 No Vote: Classical_hero, Csargo, Double A, King Jan III Sobieski, Major Robert Dump, Memnon, Skooma Addict, SouthernKing, thefluffyone93, Tiaexz,



I believes this is the correct tally.

[Askthepizzaguy]

DAY THREE






Professor Askvaard looked at his imaginary wristwatch.


Professor Askvaard: "Time's up, Joecoolyo! I know you're here. The question is, where are you hiding? Is it behind that silly-looking Chaotix mask? You look like Zorro with a cowboy hat!"


Chaotix: "At least I'm not the man in the iron mask... or iron lung. Really, there are a number of ways I could go with this. You could be Oscar the Grouch, we don't know."


Professor Askvaard: "Did you just call me a Muppet?"


Chaotix: "If the hand fits."


Professor Askvaard: "What's that supposed to mean?"


Chaotix: "Ask your mom."


The Crowd: "OooooooooooooH!"


Random guy in the crowd: "Zing!"


Professor Askvaard: "I don't get it. Ask her about Muppets?"


Chaotix: "Yeah. Anyway, so what ludicrous death do you have planned for me?"


Professor Askvaard: "Well, since you asked, I..... hey! These deaths are not ludicrous!"


Chaotix: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I meant preposterous."


Professor Askvaard: "That's not right...."


Chaotix: "Okay, how did you kill the last two folks? With a big bowl of Kool-Aid. How could you have possibly gotten KOOL-AID to come to your party and kill people for you? He's imaginary."


Professor Askvaard: "I.... could definitely kill people with Kool-Aid. I'm super hardcore."


Chaotix: "So how does he talk? He's a big glass bowl. There's no mouth except one that's painted on. Where does the voice come from?"


Professor Askvaard: "Uh.... There's a tape recorder where his junk should be?"


Chaotix: "And his arms and legs, presumably made of glass. How do they move? Have you ever seen glass move around on its own?"


Professor Askvaard: "They're animatronic. And glass can move around when its slightly molten. So there."


Chaotix: "You got a voice recorder strapped to a molten bowl of animatronic glass, with a functioning man-sized blender inside. And the fruit punch doesn't boil?"


Professor Askvaard: "Now, now, I didn't say the fruit punch wasn't boiling at the time. Just a slight omission, that's all."


Chaotix: "How does the blender work? Batteries? What kind of battery did you use?"


Professor Askvaard: "Uh.... a car battery?"


Chaotix: "Nevermind. I guess we couldn't see the car battery or the blender or the motor or the wiring or the animatronic robot parts because you can't see through glass, right?"


Professor Askvaard: "Yeah I must've got that fancy new opaque glass everyone's been talking about."


Chaotix: "Then how come we could see bits and pieces of the contents of Jarema's torso through this so called opaque molten animatronic glass?"


Professor Askvaard: "Holograms and an expensive 3-d projection system. Spared no expense."


Chaotix: "Right. And so molten glass boy, who is now just sitting on your couch, sipping Kool-Aid that he poured out of himself into a slightly smaller glass pitcher, and then into a beverage glass, eventually depositing the contents back inside of himself, which doesn't even make bleepin' sense, he's what.... STILL molten?"


Professor Askvaard: "The couch is made out of the stuff they use to shield space vehicles for re-entry."


Chaotix: "So why does it have cigarette burns on it?"


Professor Askvaard: "A wizard did it."


Chaotix: "THAT'S YOUR RATIONAL EXPLANATION FOR EVERYTHING??? A FREAKING WIZARD DID IT? YOU'RE STUMPED, SO YOU JUST CONJURE UP A FREAKIN' WIZARD TO MAGICALLY DISAPPEAR ALL OF THE GAPS IN YOUR LOGIC?"


Professor Askvaard: "Lots of people do the same thing everyday. What's your problem anyway? Can't you just accept what happened and let me move on with my writeup?"


Chaotix: "You're just making stuff up and its painfully obvious you don't know the first thing about what you're trying to sell us!"


Professor Askvaard: "Look, I don't have to memorize the encyclopedia to sell encyclopedias. Now, would you prefer a more realistic writeup? One with no inexplicable phenomena?"


Chaotix: "I just want you to explain why stuff that couldn't ever, ever possibly happen and is completely implausible is accepted as fact just because you said so, and they all believe it!"


Professor Askvaard: "Because I'm Pizzaguy?"


Chaotix: "GAHHHHHHH!!!!"


Professor Askvaard: "Calm down, have some birthday cake."


Chaotix: "I don't want any."


Professor Askvaard: "But thou must. It is delicious cake."


Chaotix: "The cake is probably a lie, just like everything else you say."


Professor Askvaard: "D'aww. Someone's being a grumpy Gus. Eat some carrot cake and you'll feel better."


Chaotix: "Fine."


Professor Askvaard: "How does it taste?"


Chaotix: "It doesn't even have any carrot in it. I told you that even the cake was a lie."


Professor Askvaard: "Oh yeah, the carrot. Almost forgot."


Professor Askvaard took an enormous carrot out of his front pocket, and shoved it into Chaotix' mouth which was already full of cake. He shoved it so hard that stabbed him in the back of the throat, and then grabbed the back of Chaotix' head to force him to choke.

Chaotix, thinking quickly, bit the carrot in half.


Professor Askvaard: "Now, now. If you struggle, it will just be worse. Shush shush shush shush...."


Professor Askvaard punched Chaotix in the jaw, turning the carrot sideways and getting it pretty well stuck. He then shoved even more cake into Chaotix' mouth, but Chaotix simply didn't want to die, so he kept breathing through his nose.


Professor Askvaard: "Oh, right. Forgot the candles."


Professor Askvaard shoved two lit candles deep inside Chaotix' nose, getting them very stuck. Chaotix stood up and tried very hard to dislodge the carrot, the cake, or the candles, and was unsuccessful in each endeavor.


Professor Askvaard: "See? All perfectly realistic and conforming to rational expectations. Just the way you want it."


Chaotix kicked Askvaard in the groin, and then continued to choke to death.


Professor Askvaard: "Ouch-kebibble!"


Chaotix turned green, well, greener than he already was, and then died.


Professor Askvaard: "Let's take off the mask of Zorro!"










"Alive" - (28/33)

a completely inoffensive name
Arjos
atheotes
Beefy187
BSmith
Choxorn
Classical_hero
Csargo
DaveShack
Diana Abnoba
Double A
edse
El Barto
Ironside
Ishmael
King Jan III Sobieski
Major Robert Dump
Memnon
Montmorency
NinjaCow64
Seon
Skooma Addict
SouthernKing
thefluffyone93
The King
Tiaexz
Visorslash Zaccino
Xenoneb


"Dead" - (0/33)

Nobody!


OH MY GOD, THEY'RE ACTUALLY DEAD!!! - (5/33)

wideyedwanderer- "Lady" Weston-Hogues / Winston Hughes - CHICKEN [vanilla townie]
Johnhughthom- "No mask and all lowercase" johnhughthom - BEEF [vanilla townie]
Jarema- "Freshly squeezed" Autolycus - SOUP [vanilla townie]
Nightbringer- "Richly blended" Camikaze - BEEF [vanilla townie] Ragnar H. Dingleberry [Ego]
Chaotix- Seon "Likes to choke" - CHICKEN [vanilla townie]




BEGIN NIGHT THREE.
24 hours remain.

[Diana Abnoba]

Pizza you are one sick puppy!!!

[Zack]

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AWizardDidIt

The question is, WHO'S THE WIZARD?!!?!?

[El Barto]

I assume it's cheaper for Pizza to post here than to undergo therapy.

[El Barto]

In case I am killed tonight (or even just 'killed') remember Montmorency.

[Montmorency]

Hehehe

Hahaha

Hee hee hee



Edit: You will not be attacked, is what I mean.

[Chaotix]

That was a pretty good one.

Make sure you take a good hard look at those who voted for me.

Especially BSmith and The King. Ninjacow I would let off the hook because he wouldn't have been able to tell that my "massive flinch" was a self-deprecating joke post, but the other two should know me by now. They are skating scum.

Zaccino is innocent of course.

[a completely inoffensive name]

13 no votes.....come on guys.

[NinjaCow64]

vote: Chaotix

Vote: Chaotix

Vote: Beefy

No no no no no! You guys shouldn't do that! You should post a reason when you vote for someone, even if it is just something like this:

vote: Diana Abnoba - just a hunch

At least we can make some sort of discussion out of that, but you guys just are being very lazy. This kind of thing almost pisses me off as much as inactives. It almost makes me want to siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.

FoS: BSmith, The King, Memmon partially for that annoying display and partially for what Chaotix just said. Yeah.

[Beefy187]

Vote: Beefy Because he is either being deliberately thick or simply doesn't bring anything to the table and we don't have any strong cases on anyone else right now.

I think I'm doing better than those who are not voting. Or those voting without a reason.
My intention was to lynch pizza again to see what happens and to do that I needed help from people.

It looks like I'm not going to get it. In that case I'll start voting for others from next round.

[Major Robert Dump]

13 no votes.....come on guys.

Ya know, some of us are in Cuba and have a hurricane to deal with