I don't even know where to begin with this. I tell you what, you put up the deposit, and I will run.
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I will promise you at least one vote if your willing to run for my seat. In fairness my mum has had interaction with our local MP and he is apparently a good MP in her view but I cannot bring myself to vote Labour, in fact in the other thread I was complaining about my lack of voting options.

An independent I could believe in with no chance to win is the perfect solution.