I need advice on how to move on.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Alas it's over, but you can still be buddies. It's nonsense that you can't be friends with an ex-girlfriend, or women in general. I haven't slept with most of my female friends but flirting a bit is just a whole lot of fun, you just need to know when you go too far. It would be a shame if you wouldn't want to have anything to do with her anymore imho

Rubbish - if she ripped your heart in half you don't want to see her for a decade at least.

If I had to guess, I'd say ACIN expected to marry this girl one day, the way you get over that kind of break up if by amputating that relationship and going and finding a new one.

[a completely inoffensive name]

If I had to guess, I'd say ACIN expected to marry this girl one day,

Yep, yep, yep. Sorry to everyone for acting the way I have over the past week but at least PVC understands what was up.

[Visor]

Yep, yep, yep. Sorry to everyone for acting the way I have over the past week but at least PVC understands what was up.

Too young to be thinking about marriage mate.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Too young to be thinking about marriage mate.

I know that now. Even though I finally cut it off, part of me still wants to go to a thing she is hosting for her friends tonight. I'm just gonna drown myself in work and try to forget about it.

EDIT; Want to clarify. I was not planning on marrying her for a loooong time. Like maybe 5-6 years from now. But I thought if we remained together past college it would happen. All a moot point anyway. A lot of my friends have been extremely supportive this past weekend and I think tonight I can actually sleep well.

[Husar]

Don't worry, a friend of a friend of my aunt's grandfather's dog's pillow once told me he does even worse in these things.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Too young to be thinking about marriage mate.

Nah - it can and does happen. It happened to my Aunt and Uncle - they met at 16 and were married for something life forty years before she passed away

I know that now. Even though I finally cut it off, part of me still wants to go to a thing she is hosting for her friends tonight. I'm just gonna drown myself in work and try to forget about it.

EDIT; Want to clarify. I was not planning on marrying her for a loooong time. Like maybe 5-6 years from now. But I thought if we remained together past college it would happen. All a moot point anyway. A lot of my friends have been extremely supportive this past weekend and I think tonight I can actually sleep well.

There was nothing wrong with the way you were thinking - you were in a relationship and you didn't put a limit on it, so obviously marriage was in the future.

Here's the thing - it wasn't in her future, that's the thing you need to understand. She got to a point where she realised that she couldn't see the relationship in 5-6 years, so she broke it off.

It's really rubbish, but that's why she said "I hope you find what you're looking for."

The thing I learned, and this absolutely sucks, is that no matter how loving, attentive, even attractive, you are - you can't make someone love you. On paper you could be exactly what they want, and you still won't spark it off for them.

[TinCow]

Nah - it can and does happen. It happened to my Aunt and Uncle - they met at 16 and were married for something life forty years before she passed away

Sure, but it's a lot more rare now than it was when your aunt and uncle met. In the US in the 1950s, on average people got married significantly younger than they do now. In 1950 the median age was 22.8 for men and 20.3 for women. In 2011 it was 28.9 for men and 26.9 for women. This age shift is significant, and it moves marriage into an entirely separate point in life. At 20-22, you are still a child in many respects. You have finished growing and are legally responsible for yourself, but you are only just beginning to experience life as an adult. That experience changes you significantly, and results in major personality changes for most people. By the time you're in your late 20s, you've finally started to stabilize again and figure out who you're going to be for the rest of your life. Relationships that are established before this personality shift are much less likely to last simply because the odds are that at least one of the partners will change in such a way as to no longer make each other compatible. In addition, in modern society is is pretty normal for both partners to work full-time throughout their lives, particularly prior to having children. As such, there is also the issue of divergent career paths to split apart couples that are just entering the job market. Couples that meet several years after entering into the job market are far more likely to have compatible career situations that make long-term relationships easier to manage.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Sure, but it's a lot more rare now than it was when your aunt and uncle met. In the US in the 1950s, on average people got married significantly younger than they do now. In 1950 the median age was 22.8 for men and 20.3 for women. In 2011 it was 28.9 for men and 26.9 for women. This age shift is significant, and it moves marriage into an entirely separate point in life. At 20-22, you are still a child in many respects. You have finished growing and are legally responsible for yourself, but you are only just beginning to experience life as an adult. That experience changes you significantly, and results in major personality changes for most people. By the time you're in your late 20s, you've finally started to stabilize again and figure out who you're going to be for the rest of your life. Relationships that are established before this personality shift are much less likely to last simply because the odds are that at least one of the partners will change in such a way as to no longer make each other compatible. In addition, in modern society is is pretty normal for both partners to work full-time throughout their lives, particularly prior to having children. As such, there is also the issue of divergent career paths to split apart couples that are just entering the job market. Couples that meet several years after entering into the job market are far more likely to have compatible career situations that make long-term relationships easier to manage.

Well.... A lot of that was true then.

The point is - going into a relationship thinking "this will end in x.... years" is not all that healthy, or honourable.

[Xiahou]

By the time you're in your late 20s, you've finally started to stabilize again and figure out who you're going to be for the rest of your life.

Nah. I don't think you ever stop evolving mentally/emotionally.

[Fragony]

Yep, yep, yep. Sorry to everyone for acting the way I have over the past week but at least PVC understands what was up.

I never got that far in. The second time I make poor judgement in this thread I meant well, I'll leave it to the other posters

[a completely inoffensive name]

I never got that far in. The second time I make poor judgement in this thread I meant well, I'll leave it to the other posters

Your posts helped a lot Frag. The last one you posted made me stop and realize I was spiraling down.