Proofreading

[Michael King]

Thanks for this. I agree with most of your changes so far, it becomes more readable this way. It is perhaps still harder to read than necessary, better punctuation and splitting into more paragraphs may be the ticket. Some sentences contain a huge amount of sub-sentences!

I agree that's the case, I did not want to change to much the first time around. I will try a rewrite of the first segment, to keep the same info, but make it slightly more manageable (or less sub-sentency ;) )

I will also try a rewrite of the traveller's log in first person point of view, which would make it more like an actual traveller's log. I will update my post later today.

About the trust thing, I'd reword it to something like this:

They are a people rich in courage. They may not cover themselves in iron mail or bronze helmets, but their spears and swords will still kill any man, driven home by their sinewy limbs and wild hearts.

I like this option, (I also agree with your suggestion Arjos), but this one makes the sentence a bit easier to digest.

[bovi]

I will update my post later today.

Sorry, could you post again here when you consider that it's done? I can't be sure as long as it says you'll continue when you've had some rest...