What EB era city would you want to live in?

**||Lz3||** · 01-08-2009, 03:04

Enjoy your un-covered cloaca maxima.

Besides who needs gladiatorial games when you have access to the best library in the world

**desert** · 01-08-2009, 03:16

During my campaigns to ~~enslave~~ civilize the entire world, I would keep my HQ in Roma for sentimental reasons. Also, that is a good place from which to organize expeditions into northern Europe. Armored troops, tanks, and helicopters only - I wouldn't want those natives to think that we can be killed...

Once I have the southern half of Asia, North Africa, and Western Europe, I will assemble a large force to attack through the Hindu Kush, Khwarezm, the Caucasus, and Skythia. At this point, my HQ will be in Athens. After that, I will probably go back to the present day and leave all the administration to my trusted subordinates.

**LordCurlyton** · 01-08-2009, 03:26

And as any good Evil Overlord should know, the only trusted lieutenant is a dead one. Your inherently flawed plan has now doomed you to be shot upon returning to the present day by your own Legions of Terror. Never mind that quantum mechanically speaking you could never return to your present day...

**desert** · 01-08-2009, 03:40

A. I travelled back in time, so I might as well be able to do the reverse.
B. I am not an Evil Overlord. I am a Good Overlord. Among my many reforms will be abolishment of slavery, mandatory attendance of regional educational institutions supplemented by volunteers from the present day for all citizens under 12, food aid to hungry villages, improved roads and trade networks, etc. As such, they are not legions of Terror. My armies will be trained to adhere to the Three Phases:

Phase 1: Pre-battle speeches to enemy soldiers with megaphones, firing guns into the air.

Phase 2: If panic and desire to surrender are not induced, or are induced but do not produce intended results, then armored vehicles, airplanes and helicopters will be brought in in a classic example of Shock and Awe tactics. A small amount of fire will be concentrated into the enemy lines. The helicopters will play "Ride of the Valkyries".

Phase 3: If the enemy does not break, the order to Fire at Will is given, and an order to halt a minute later. This cycle of orders will be repeated until all hostiles are terminated or have fled/surrendered.

After a few battles, everyone will just surrender to me as if I were Genghis Khan and the Mongol horde.

**LordCurlyton** · 01-08-2009, 03:57

Originally Posted by desert

A. I travelled back in time, so I might as well be able to do the reverse.
B. I am not an Evil Overlord. I am a Good Overlord. Among my many reforms will be abolishment of slavery, mandatory attendance of regional educational institutions supplemented by volunteers from the present day for all citizens under 12, food aid to hungry villages, improved roads and trade networks, etc. As such, they are not legions of Terror. My armies will be trained to adhere to the Three Phases:

Phase 1: Pre-battle speeches to enemy soldiers with megaphones, firing guns into the air.

Phase 2: If panic and desire to surrender are not induced, or are induced but do not produce intended results, then armored vehicles, airplanes and helicopters will be brought in in a classic example of Shock and Awe tactics. A small amount of fire will be concentrated into the enemy lines. The helicopters will play "Ride of the Valkyries".

Phase 3: If the enemy does not break, the order to Fire at Will is given, and an order to halt a minute later. This cycle of orders will be repeated until all hostiles are terminated or have fled/surrendered.

After a few battles, everyone will just surrender to me as if I were Genghis Khan and the Mongol horde.

So you want to go back in time to impose your will with well-trained army forces? *Looks in lil' black book o' evil* Yep, qualifies. And quantum mechanically speaking, you COULD go back in time assuming wormholes are possible and the right amounts of unobtainium could be had, but then you'd have created an entirely new universe in our multiverse diverging at your entry point, which means going forward to "present day" would be the present day of your new 'verse. Stephen Baxter's Timeships is a good fiction demonstrating that.
Also, modern body armor will not stop melee weapons, so unless you actually do some killing somebody will figure out that you are unwilling to hit them and/or may believe that the gods are protecting them, thus causing them to advance and poke your troops. And, as recent history has shown again, the heavy hitters may win the battles, but the grunts are needed to win the war. Put another way, tanks and air power can win land, but only the infantry can keep it. And a spear in a marine will still be quite fatal to said marine.
We won't even begin to speak of the cultural upheaval you propose with your reforms....we ESPECIALLY will avoid the obvious references to a certain departing POTUS and his unilateral thinking...

**desert** · 01-08-2009, 04:10

There are many theories. :P

And I was actually thinking of body armor made of this substance: http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/1...terial-02.html
http://thefutureofthings.com/articles.php?itemId=24/61/

Military use in "two to three" years, baby. I'll call them stormtroopers.

And yes, I will have a way to mass produce it...

**russia almighty** · 01-08-2009, 04:56

Kerberos from Panzer Cops, and Jin-Roh would make probably every ancient army run like hell.

Excluding the whole MG-42 thing, they look like the devil's spawn.

**kekailoa** · 01-08-2009, 03:45

Massalia.

Beautiful Mediterranean views, well-built Greek city, but mixed with Celtic culture.

Or maybe the area around Biarritz in France. Uncrowded surf, open countryside. Or maybe the Atlantic coasts of the Iberian Peninsula. Gorgeous landscape, more uncrowded surf.

The area around Morocco. Once again, temperate climate, uncrowded surf.

**Aemilius Paulus** · 01-08-2009, 03:48

Originally Posted by ||Lz3||

Enjoy your un-covered cloaca maxima.

???
Explain please. How do genitals relate to what I said?

Originally Posted by ||Lz3||

Besides who needs gladiatorial games when you have access to the best library in the world

You got me there, I would prefer the greatest library to some coarse games for plebs. Reading is my passion, above everything, in both the time I allot to it, and the amount of pleasure I derive from it.

However, I was choosing the EB-era city based on what it has that the cities of today do not. I was not choosing the best city to live in indefinitely, but the best one to live in only for a short period of time, as a visit. I have libraries aplenty in my city, but I will not find gladiatorial games even slightly comparable to that of Rome's anywhere in the world. They should really either enslave or "gladiatorize" all of modern criminals. Much better than to let them rot in prison, occasionally coming out to work. Very few US prisons have regular labour gangs. Russia is different though. Prisons will keep you alive and well in relatively semi-tolerable conditions but you'll be working your ass off all the time.

Plus, considering that you are not some drug lord or a son of a wealthy businessman or important politician in Mexico, you are a common man as I am given to understand. Common men of those times were ignorant to the extreme. You would not be able to read, let alone to read text of such complexity and sharpness of wit as the ones written long ago by the best of the societies. Standards have fallen dramatically since then. Now almost any pleb can publish a book. even the best of today cannot compare to the glorious past.