-IMO, it is not worth the effort of getting your family members to go over to the other faction. When an AI faction has more territories than family members, they will "magically" spawn new ones which you can roleplay.
-When the AI has two separate areas of territory, they'll generally concentrate on only one of them (usually the bigger part).
-If the AI doesn not share the same MICs as you, the gifts of the territories will spawn hundreds of "freed slaves" and you'll have to wait a decade or more before they build up their MICs and start making proper armies.
-If the AI uses the same government system as you (normal vs. nomad vs. Pahlava), then they will use your governments normally as though they built them.
-Forced diplomacy can do just about all you need to do, unless you plan to script things...
-From your questions, you pretty much understand what I did and how to do it. There was a whole lot of roleplaying in my AAR, where I couldn't do things gameplay wise.
-To make an Indian faction, your choices really are only Baktria, Pahlava, Saka Rauka, and maybe the Seleukids (since nobody else has any good units in India). Although Baktria and Pahlava & Saka share neither governments nor MICs. If either Parthia or Saka are nearly dead, you could try transplanting them to India and giving them a decade to build up governments and MICs (or script those).
-Don't steamroll a civil war, the AI will be weak and confused by the transplanting for quite some time.
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