Violent people

[Whacker]

Lemme alone, or do I need to kick you in the head? Solves all problems.

You couldn't even get your leg up that high fatty. Bring it!

[Vuk]

Too right.



Now to the main subject:


When in a forum we often forget various real world considerations...as for example age. Now prompting a 17 year old to pick up a fight...not good...more disturbing that some things I have seen in the backroom. Offering instructions on 'Zena-like' martial arts techniques...Potentially illegal.

Allies as people said. If that fails then you should consider talking to someone. Do not take abuse out of pride. Real life is not a film.

lol, not suggesting Zena like martial arts or telling him to do anything illegal. The martial arts discussion was a completely different train of thought started when Fragony dissed Asian martial arts. I was not suggesting that Edyz use Taijichuan on his antagonist.

[Whacker]

When in a forum we often forget various real world considerations...as for example age. Now prompting a 17 year old to pick up a fight...not good...more disturbing that some things I have seen in the backroom. Offering instructions on 'Zena-like' martial arts techniques...Potentially illegal.

Allies as people said. If that fails then you should consider talking to someone. Do not take abuse out of pride. Real life is not a film.

Finally, someone posting something realistic and calling this for what it is.

Edyz:

1. You need to tell an adult or authority figure and get them involved. If this is ongoing, then you need to put the brakes on it ASAP. This is the best way by far to deal with this.
2. Friends. Don't go around without them.
3. Last and not least is awareness. You need to be aware of where you are and your situation at all times. Avoiding conflict is the best way of dealing with it. Don't go in areas or places where you could be put into a bad situation. I wouldn't try to fight anyone less you absolutely had no other choice, and if that's the case then bite and claw, fight dirty. Don't try any of that "punch him right here" stuff, you don't have the skill or training to pull it off. Best thing to do is take those legs of yours and run like hell.
4. See point 1.

Best of luck.

[Hax]

Hear hear!

Direct confrontation is never pleasant.

[Fragony]

I was not suggesting that Edyz use Taijichuan on his antagonist.

But now that he knows how powerful it is, I dunno this could turn badly.

[Vuk]

Finally, someone posting something realistic and calling this for what it is.

Edyz:

1. You need to tell an adult or authority figure and get them involved. If this is ongoing, then you need to put the brakes on it ASAP. This is the best way by far to deal with this.
2. Friends. Don't go around without them.
3. Last and not least is awareness. You need to be aware of where you are and your situation at all times. Avoiding conflict is the best way of dealing with it. Don't go in areas or places where you could be put into a bad situation. I wouldn't try to fight anyone less you absolutely had no other choice, and if that's the case then bite and claw, fight dirty. Don't try any of that "punch him right here" stuff, you don't have the skill or training to pull it off. Best thing to do is take those legs of yours and run like hell.
4. See point 1.

Best of luck.

Almost exactly what I said, lol. I could not agree more. You win every fight that you avoid. You lose just by being in one. That is what I tried to get across in my post.

[edyzmedieval]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions.

It's surprising peer pressure and fear of repercussions have such an effect. He heard me talking on the phone with my dad and his friends told him he did a bad thing by hitting me, and all of a sudden he started apologising and even gave me a letter. The problem is that he is the biggest liar you can encounter and a coward too, you never know what would happen if he would beat you up - knife, gun...

But I guess self defence is the best thing to do. I was thinking about some of these.

[Vuk]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions.

It's surprising peer pressure and fear of repercussions have such an effect. He heard me talking on the phone with my dad and his friends told him he did a bad thing by hitting me, and all of a sudden he started apologising and even gave me a letter. The problem is that he is the biggest liar you can encounter and a coward too, you never know what would happen if he would beat you up - knife, gun...

But I guess self defence is the best thing to do. I was thinking about some of these.

Bullies are always the biggest cowards. Best thing to do now Edyz is to avoid a fight with him but let him know that he cannot mess with you. Report him to whatever authority you can, and if he apologizes to you, accept his apology, but let him know that if there is a next time you will take legal action. My experiences with bullies have been older generally, but I think that advice would still be sound.

[Strike For The South]

Ignore him, give him no credence. Bullies usually walk away if there is no fun.

If this fails and he still persists, Get a long sock and a bar of soap, put soap in said sock then start beating the kid. After you are done tell him if he tells anyone he will spend the rest of his days eating through a straw.

I was only messed with once in all of my schooling, It was 7th grade football practice and the school bully told me to push someone into the mud I told him no and the bully grabbed my mouthpiece and threw it into said mud. I snapped pushed the bully into the mud and pushed his head down into the mud until my teammates pulled me off of him.

This story doesn't make me some time of hardcore dude, far from it. The bully was still a bully the next day but he never messed with me again he even had a grudging respect for me. I know fighting is illegal but sometimes all bullies understand is force.

[Lemur]

But I guess self defence is the best thing to do. I was thinking about some of these.

If you have a real interest in self-defense, the quickest ways to become effective are:

• Jujutsu
• Hapkido (most of the cops I know study this)
• Muy Thai
• Boxing

Any one of those, if studied and practiced with a competent instructor, will give you an ability to defend yourself in some situations.

[Vuk]

If you have a real interest in self-defense, the quickest ways to become effective are:

• Jujutsu
• Hapkido (most of the cops I know study this)
• Muy Thai
• Boxing

Any one of those, if studied and practiced with a competent instructor, will give you an ability to defend yourself in some situations.

Must agree with you on Hapkido Lemur , it is the practical side of Taekwondo. When I was trying to get a job as a bouncer, that is what everyone wanted (which is why I studied it :P) because of its practicality. Jujutsu is also a practical one, and Muy Thai can be very practical if used correctly, but I have to disagree with you about suggesting boxing. Boxing is a very impractical fighting style. It does teach you to take hits, and give some good ones back, but it does not teach you to defend yourself.
Of all that were suggested, I would say that Hapkido is probably the best for you Edyz. If I may throw my own in though, one of the most (if not the most) practicle and effective martial arts in the world is Taijichuan. It is the type that takes years to master though, not a practicle thing for your short term needs. If you are serious about pursuing a selfdefense style though, I would highly reccomend that you look into the availability of Taijichuan some time in the future.

[edyzmedieval]

Bullies are always the biggest cowards. Best thing to do now Edyz is to avoid a fight with him but let him know that he cannot mess with you. Report him to whatever authority you can, and if he apologizes to you, accept his apology, but let him know that if there is a next time you will take legal action. My experiences with bullies have been older generally, but I think that advice would still be sound.

Ha, he did apologise, he even wrote me a letter. Accepted his apologies for now but I'm still very wary about the future. I didn't go to higher authority (people got Disciplinary Counsil for saying swear words to other peeps on facebook!!!) yet because it's the last 3 days and it's the last thing I need, but if it continues when I come back, he's gonna mess with the school and some other people too...

[DemonArchangel]

This is very much true and I said it in an awkward manner. What I meant to say that Buddhism hasn't ever once been used an excuse to attack other people.

Hoooooooooooo boy. That's backroom material.

[The New Che Guevara]

[QUOTE=Lemur;2158370]I would like to know why so many posters are ignoring edyzmedieval's stipulation that all-out combat is not an option.QUOTE]

It's a total war website where most people if they have a problem with a faction, or a faction picks on you, you pwn them off...

It might not have been the best place to ask for advice...

[Hax]

Hoooooooooooo boy. That's backroom material.

Hehe, yes..let's not get any further than this. I stepped too far though, my apologies.

[CountArach]

Violence begets violence. Escalation is exacly what this person wants you to do.

[Beefy187]

If you have a real interest in self-defense, the quickest ways to become effective are:

• Jujutsu
• Hapkido (most of the cops I know study this)
• Muy Thai
• Boxing

Any one of those, if studied and practiced with a competent instructor, will give you an ability to defend yourself in some situations.

Aikidou
But I don't think now is the right time to discuss this with Korean fellows..

War works like this.
If the opponent understands that it takes a high price to mess with you, they'll stop.

I'm not sure if telling on the authorities will be a good idea. Revenge on you can be deadly.

Humiliation is the last thing the bullies wants. If he is in neutral stance it can bring you two closely, but if his completely hostile then it will back fire. So funny pranks would be bad.

Staying close to the authorities or lots of friends all the time may be a good idea. But it takes effort to constantly find someone.

One of the best way are by not turning up to school. Clearly let the school know that they are bullies around and they have to deal with it. Also this takes up the "toys" away from the bullies and they could get bored.

Another thing you have to avoid is being ignored by everyone. Let everyone know that your getting bullied and you don't like it without actually telling them.

If you want to take it to the officials, make sure you write some detail report of what they did to you, each time you get bullied. Let the bullies vaguely know that you are willing to go to the authorities.

Finally the most important bit. Your parents are your allies no matter what happens. Talk to them. If your a boarder, trust the boarding masters.

Thats all I can think of.

[Fixiwee]

Hire Ninjas to protect you.

Start looking for them in this thread.

[Whacker]

If you have a real interest in self-defense, the quickest ways to become effective are:

• Jujutsu
• Hapkido (most of the cops I know study this)
• Muy Thai
• Boxing

Any one of those, if studied and practiced with a competent instructor, will give you an ability to defend yourself in some situations.

I'll toss this out here as my own last $0.02 USD to this wonderful thread here.

My personal opinion is that any martial art taught by competent individuals who focus on application will benefit anyone. The main key word here is application.

Something I caught and laughed a bit about was Vuk's earlier comment about TaeKwonDo. As much as I try not to be, I also am somewhat biased against TKD due to my observation that most places that teach that are belt factories that pump out nth degree black belts in a year or two, and give black belts to 6 year old kids that can barely walk. Around here where I live, the biggest belt factories are indeed TKD places. The key here is that these places will teach you how to do your forms (katas, whatever) perfectly, throw really nice flashy kicks to the head, break bricks with your face, and all other kinds of useless crap that won't do you a whit of good on the street. The thing they do NOT teach is how to apply techniques in real world situations, and how to improvise as needed when things don't go how you want them to (the so called "OH SH" factor). It's this false sense of self confidence that lands people in the hospital or worse when someone finally does pull a knife on them and demand their cash, and they charge head first into the fray because hot damn they KNOW how to handle someone with a knife! just please stab at me this way exactly so I can pull off this disarm. Again the bottom line here is application, real application, not "this punch is used to hit someone in the face" nonsense.

Also, there is no such thing as a "superior" martial art, however there certainly are superior martial artists. Every system has it's strengths and weaknesses, one of the key points to becoming a good fighter is recognizing what you can and can't do within your system, training, and personal skill. Anyone who takes their training seriously will recognize this at some point.

[Megas Methuselah]

I always walked around high school with my chest out and chin in the air. I must have looked intimidating or something; I was only being proud, not tough...

[Whacker]

Hire Ninjas to protect you.

Start looking for them in this thread.

Possible post of the week.

Also some ninjas to hire can be found here.

[Togakure]

A long time ago, I and some others were in a similar situation at summer camp. Just as things were getting out of hand, staff got an anonymous tip that the bully had brought illegal drugs to camp. A search of his belongings produced evidence. They had a zero tolerance for that kind of thing, and despite his repeated denial that the drugs were his, he was sent home. I'm sure his reputation as a bully didn't help him. No longer there, no longer a problem--a very smooth and convenient solution.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Lately I have been having a serious conflict with one of my classmates, which I will not discuss here in detail, but since I am out of ideas on how to deal with the person, I'm looking for alternative ideas, how do you guys take care of these interesting problems. Full out fighting would result in expulsion so i'm not even considering that.

So how do you handle it when you receive a punch in the face and then an honest "I don't regret at all what I have done" in your face afterwards? Note: this person does not understand what "leave me alone please" is.
Any ideas?

Okay, I'm guessing that that the reason this violent character hasn't been expelled himself is because you haven't told the school officials. Is that correct? Seeing as the school prevents you from defending yourself really, I don't see why not get his sorry butt kicked out. Getting your parents involved in a separate simultaneous complaint would also help. I don't know how he would go about retaliating - but you should prepare as you see necessary in that event (getting allies, learning some self defense arts).

If you don't want to do that, getting some more allies - friends - and being around them helps as well.

Lemur pointed out some good arts, and I would add Brazilian Jujitsu, which really helps with ground wrestling. You said you can't just fight this guy, but even if you never start something, knowing self defense can't hurt. Would you be expelled for something like giving this guy a good shove if he attacked you again? I think the attitude you want is you're not going to take this - it doesn't mean you fight him, but you don't just let him do as he will - you get him in trouble, for example.

Violence begets violence. Escalation is exacly what this person wants you to do.

Hmm. I've always been of the thinking that bullies didn't want a fight, they just wanted to shove people around.

CR

[Vuk]

I'll toss this out here as my own last $0.02 USD to this wonderful thread here.

My personal opinion is that any martial art taught by competent individuals who focus on application will benefit anyone. The main key word here is application.

Something I caught and laughed a bit about was Vuk's earlier comment about TaeKwonDo. As much as I try not to be, I also am somewhat biased against TKD due to my observation that most places that teach that are belt factories that pump out nth degree black belts in a year or two, and give black belts to 6 year old kids that can barely walk. Around here where I live, the biggest belt factories are indeed TKD places. The key here is that these places will teach you how to do your forms (katas, whatever) perfectly, throw really nice flashy kicks to the head, break bricks with your face, and all other kinds of useless crap that won't do you a whit of good on the street. The thing they do NOT teach is how to apply techniques in real world situations, and how to improvise as needed when things don't go how you want them to (the so called "OH SH" factor). It's this false sense of self confidence that lands people in the hospital or worse when someone finally does pull a knife on them and demand their cash, and they charge head first into the fray because hot damn they KNOW how to handle someone with a knife! just please stab at me this way exactly so I can pull off this disarm. Again the bottom line here is application, real application, not "this punch is used to hit someone in the face" nonsense.

Also, there is no such thing as a "superior" martial art, however there certainly are superior martial artists. Every system has it's strengths and weaknesses, one of the key points to becoming a good fighter is recognizing what you can and can't do within your system, training, and personal skill. Anyone who takes their training seriously will recognize this at some point.

lol, the first martial art I ever learned was Taekwondo, and I practice it to this day. I was lucky enough to be able to learn from an 8th Dan Han Moo Kwan Grand Master who was cross trained in Phillipino Pressure Points and involved in augmenting the US Army's hand-to-hand course. He has a very practical look on Taekwondo, knows its limitations, and teaches them. You can get a lot out of Taekwondo if you take it for the right reasons.
Also, there IS such a thing as superior and inferior martial arts. As I said, different martial arts have different purposes that they seek to fufill. So it would be accurate to say that karate is an inferior martial art FOR SELFDEFENSE than Taijichuan. Also it would be fair to say that Taijichuan is an inferior combat sport to Taekwondo. See what I mean? It all depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking for self defense and practical application, then Taijichuan and Hapkido are gonna be considered superior martial arts.

[Beefy187]

lol, the first martial art I ever learned was Taekwondo, and I practice it to this day. I was lucky enough to be able to learn from an 8th Dan Han Moo Kwan Grand Master who was cross trained in Phillipino Pressure Points and involved in augmenting the US Army's hand-to-hand course. He has a very practical look on Taekwondo, knows its limitations, and teaches them. You can get a lot out of Taekwondo if you take it for the right reasons.
Also, there IS such a thing as superior and inferior martial arts. As I said, different martial arts have different purposes that they seek to fufill. So it would be accurate to say that karate is an inferior martial art FOR SELFDEFENSE than Taijichuan. Also it would be fair to say that Taijichuan is an inferior combat sport to Taekwondo. See what I mean? It all depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking for self defense and practical application, then Taijichuan and Hapkido are gonna be considered superior martial arts.

If you are willing to break a couple of bones, Ninjutsu will do the job.
Its designed for assassination.. To kill. For that they are considered number one. Close second will be Aikidou.

Kendo will be nice as it will add intimidating factor if Kendo learners hold some kind of stick. Its really scary...

I have a history of ignoring bullying which I regret to this day, but I never got bullied my self even though I normally walk with a back curved, chin down, eyes looking at the ground.

[edyzmedieval]

I can fight with him, he's shorter than me but he's extremely violent and has some weird moves and hits you in the most inacessible places. I talked to my dad and he was extremely angry about it, he actually wanted me to take action - either you sort it out with him or the director will receive some interesting calls which he won't like.

I'll use that as a last measure. I'm also sometimes violent but I hate fighting. I fought so much back at home it wasn't even funny. And yes, self defense is the key. I don't rely on "allies" in a boarding school, everyone's on their own basically. The problem is this - he's on my floor and he persistently comes to my room to annoy me, and he knows that. I hate it when he comes in the room, and that's why he's coming...

[Fragony]

'STOP COMMIN TO MY ROOM I SAID NO AND I MEAN IT, I LIKE GIRLS!!!'

loud enough so anyone hears it, naturally.

[CountArach]

Hmm. I've always been of the thinking that bullies didn't want a fight, they just wanted to shove people around.

CR

Not in my experience

[Andres]

Well, if he hits you, he'll get expelled, right?

Make sure he gets expelled and the problem is solved.

Really, don't fall for all that teenage testosterone macho nonsense about fighting or martial arts.

This is not a martial arts movie, it's real life. Talk to the authorities and get the idiot expelled. That's the only just course of action. And whoever calls you a 'traitor' or a 'coward' is also an idiot because he/she sympathises with a despicable bully. Nobody should sympathise with a bully. They leave scars on people that stick for the rest of their lives.

Besides, since it's happening now, you don't have the time to master some form of martial arts. If you really must fight (but I strongly advice you not to), then one well placed kick or punch between the legs should do.

[Vuk]

Well, if he hits you, he'll get expelled, right?

Make sure he gets expelled and the problem is solved.

Really, don't fall for all that teenage testosterone macho nonsense about fighting or martial arts.

This is not a martial arts movie, it's real life. Talk to the authorities and get the idiot expelled. That's the only just course of action. And whoever calls you a 'traitor' or a 'coward' is also an idiot because he/she sympathises with a despicable bully. Nobody should sympathise with a bully. They leave scars on people that stick for the rest of their lives.

Besides, since it's happening now, you don't have the time to master some form of martial arts. If you really must fight (but I strongly advice you not to), then one well placed kick or punch between the legs should do.

I agree with Andres on all points but one: hitting between the legs. In my experience this works 5% of the time or less. If you try to strike him between the legs and miss, you will **** him off so bad that he will mess you up really badly if he can. It works all the time in the movies, but this is not the movies. Trust me, it is not worth attempting unless your life/sexual purity is on the line, which it sounds to me like it is not in this case.
And FYI Andres, I suggested that he take martial arts for the long term, so that in situations like this in the future he will be better prepared. As I stated in my post, the most important things martial arts teach you is how to avoid fights and how to get out of them recieving and causing as little damage as possible.