Manliest Name Poll: Finals

[PanzerJaeger]

Ya, now we just talk about you behind your back.

As Bette Davis once said in the waning days of her career, "At least they're still talking about me."




+1 for the Duke.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Having been given my vote back, I chose to give it too Mr. Fightmaster. That is a pretty cool name.

[Jolt]

Without Hillary Clinton, John Wayne just became the new baddest guy around.

[Yoyoma1910]

Without Hillary Clinton, John Wayne just became the new baddest guy around.

Yeah....




But he's no Hillary Clinton.

[Jolt]

Yeah....




But he's no Hillary Clinton.

No he isn't.

[Aemilius Paulus]

Why didn't Arnie make it here? Shwartzie deserves his recognition. Or wait, he is also a politician. A Governor of California...

[desert]

Because no one mentioned it. Also, this is the manliest NAME thread; his name just isn't manly enough to cut it here. Also, weird post back in the 1st page.

CMON FIGHTMASTER!

[King Jan III Sobieski]

GO JOHN WAYNE!!!

[Reverend Joe]

Having been given my vote back, I chose to give it too Mr. Fightmaster. That is a pretty cool name.

Not as badass as John Wayne.

[desert]

I'll provide a thorough analysis of the names to show why John Wayne is the lamest of the three.

1: Max Fightmaster -

Max: Already a pretty good first name. Like Mad Max.
Fightmaster: **** YOU ALL, his name means the MASTER of FIGHTING. He could literally fight all the armies of the universe in a combined battle that takes up more space than this entire galaxy and win in 2 seconds!

2: Wolfman Beerworth

Wolfman: His name already has the word man in it, but it also has wolf. Also, werewolves/wolfmen are awesome.

Beerworth: It has the word "beer" in it.

3: John Wayne -

John: Classic. Somewhat manly in its simplicity, but also cliche.

Wayne: It's ok.

John Wayne may be manly, but his name isn't. This is the "Manliest Name Competition", not "Manliest MAN Competition".

[Reverend Joe]

I'll provide a thorough analysis of the names to show why John Wayne is the lamest of the three.

1: Max Fightmaster -

Max: Already a pretty good first name. Like Mad Max.
Fightmaster: **** YOU ALL, his name means the MASTER of FIGHTING. He could literally fight all the armies of the universe in a combined battle that takes up more space than this entire galaxy and win in 2 seconds!

2: Wolfman Beerworth

Wolfman: His name already has the word man in it, but it also has wolf. Also, werewolves/wolfmen are awesome.

Beerworth: It has the word "beer" in it.

3: John Wayne -

John: Classic. Somewhat manly in its simplicity, but also cliche.

Wayne: It's ok.

John Wayne may be manly, but his name isn't. This is the "Manliest Name Competition", not "Manliest MAN Competition".

Sorry, but your assessment is critically flawed, since it fails to take into account the fact that John Wayne's name is now the manliest name because it was attached to him.

[rajpoot]

Wolfman isn't getting his worth here........

[Askthepizzaguy]

You know, there was once a tale about a boy named Sue...

[desert]

Sorry, but your assessment is critically flawed, since it fails to take into account the fact that John Wayne's name is now the manliest name because it was attached to him.

Bollocks.

Max Fightmaster beats it because he is a Staff Sergeant. On top of of his regular name, he has a cool-as-hell military rank. Does John Wayne have a military rank? I don't think so! You lose...now make me a sammich.

[Askthepizzaguy]

*Takes out pistol, shoots Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster in the face 200 times, and in the nether regions 100 more times.*

There. Now he's slightly less manly than Chris Crocker. I'd say this contest is over.

[desert]

Unfortunately for you, he caught all the bullets in his mouth at once, ate them, then regurgitated them as one giant bullet that he shot at you, obliterating you from the face of the Earth, while the bullets aimed at his crotch were absorbed by his genitalia, which increased in size ten-fold.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Or, at least that's what he wished had happened, right before his brains were splattered around a three-block radius, along with his vaunted manhood.

[desert]

No, that's what you wished he wished had happened, right before a 300 mm shell made of hundreds of bullets crashed into your torso at 10% the speed of light.

[Reverend Joe]

Bollocks.

Max Fightmaster beats it because he is a Staff Sergeant. On top of of his regular name, he has a cool-as-hell military rank. Does John Wayne have a military rank? I don't think so! You lose...now make me a sammich.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fort_Apache_(film)

Captain Kirby York

[Askthepizzaguy]

At those speeds, the bullet itself would have blown apart from the friction, and most of the people on the planet would be dead from the shockwave. So looks like you're dead too.



Best you can hope for is a draw at this rate, a "you're dead" draw which is hardly a victory. On the other hand, if you agree my story makes more sense, your dude has no head or reproductive organs, a far more likely scenario, and I win.

Either way, you're not walking away from this with a "V", so be the bigger man and admit defeat.

[desert]

You fool! You fail to realize that his manliness was enough to shield the area from the shockwave (which would only be the equivalent of a 100m asteroid hitting the spot you are standing on) and himself as well.

Honestly, this is what Max Fightmaster does for fun:

Back when Max tried being a Turk



That lion's paw is concealing Fightmaster's massive boner.

@Joe: A. Captain isn't as cool a rank as Staff Sergeant.
B. He was only a Captain in the movie, not in real life.
C. John Wayne died of cancer, the least manly way to die. Even Chuck Norris is immune to cancer! If Wayne can't beat Chuck Norris, how can he hope to beat Fightmaster?

[desert]

It appears that my brilliant and impassioned rhetoric has knocked Wayne out of the fight.

[Reverend Joe]

It appears that my brilliant and impassioned rhetoric has knocked Wayne out of the fight.

You talkin' fancy talk, Pilgrim? I'd like to see that fancy talk of yours stand down a Colt Peacemaker.

And for the record, this whole poll is null and void by John Wayne's sheer Awesomeness.

Edit:

A. Captain isn't as cool a rank as Staff Sergeant.
It's not only cooler than Staff Seargernt, it's higher.
B. He was only a Captain in the movie, not in real life.
Max, doesn't even exist, whereas John Wayne does. Suck it. And by the way, that dude in the poster is John Wayne's bastard son by a Turkish lion.
C. John Wayne died of cancer, the least manly way to die. Even Chuck Norris is immune to cancer! If Wayne can't beat Chuck Norris, how can he hope to beat Fightmaster?
Actually, cancer is the manliest way to die. In fact, dying of cancer means your own cells kill you -- meaning that John Wayne could only be killed by his own body, and no other way. And that's not discounting the possibility that he is in Cryogenic deep-freeze awaiting the time when America will need him the most...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Possibly when Obama ****s up so bad that a Fascist is elected president.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Bad joke, sorry.

[desert]

Ohhh!! You just LOST! Max Fightmaster is more real than you can possibly imagine!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Didn't you read the OP in my Manliest Names thread?

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/...in575441.shtml

[Reverend Joe]

Dude... your article is a story about how depressing it has been in America since 2003.

You made me not care about the manliest name, because the dude with the manliest name may very well end up with PTSD.

[rajpoot]

So when does this end? I'm bagging that Wolfman soon crosses Max.

[desert]

Dude... your article is a story about how depressing it has been in America since 2003.

You made me not care about the manliest name, because the dude with the manliest name may very well end up with PTSD.

So when does this end? I'm bagging that Wolfman soon crosses Max.

I actually made the poll infinitely long. I'd thought that within a day or two Fightmaster would get a substantial lead over the others and I could declare victory.

[KukriKhan]

John Wayne overcame the birth-defect of being named Marion Robert Morrison by his Mother, made himself into the manliest Man in the western hemisphere, then worked on Europe and Asia. He was Ghengis bygod Khan, fercryin out loud.

AND he was a Staff Sergeant many times.

[desert]

AND he was a Staff Sergeant many times.

Proof or it didn't happen.

[Rhyfelwyr]

17/16/17... wouldn't it be controversial to have a 3-way tie...