I have big problems; please help me.

[Don Corleone]

my grandma. she wil recover eventually. i need an escape from life desperately

No, she won't. My biological father committed suicide 22 years ago, and pretty much every day, I think of him, and I feel guilt and pain every time.

I can't begin to understand where you're at right now, John, but I do remember being 13 and feeling like I had little to live for. Trust me when I say that nothing you're facing now is permanent and it will pass. Death does not. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Whatever your problems are, no matter how alone you feel, suicide is not an answer. Please seek help through one of the groups listed above.

[Husar]

Look, you actually want to live. If you didn't then you hadn't opened this topic here to ask for reasons not to do it.
As has been said, there will be better times, my dad could make me very depressed back when i was about your age, I also had some problems with my mom, but nowadays our relation is absolutely splendid I I am almost ashamed of the things I thought were problems back then. All you have to do is go on, grow up, become a man and don't let these issues bring you down. You could also try to find another hobby, like reading books instead of playing xbox all the time, listening to music you like might also make you happier, sometimes the tricks are really simple, yet very effective and little things can make you happier than what you think is big and important sometimes.

[Ramses II CP]

The fact that you're here to talk about it means the odds are you've already decided not to make a serious attempt. That's good. The fact that you made your gesture to a bunch of essentially random people on the 'net is less good. There's no substitute for looking someone in the eye when you speak to them, so find someone you can be in the same room with, or at the very least someone you can speak to on the phone, and go through this with them. If you continue seeking attention online you're going to run into negative reinforcement sooner rather than later. If this is the only place you feel comfortable then it's better than nothing, but don't count on long term help here.

A guy I went to school with killed himself at sixteen. Not a close friend, but that afternoon, before he did it, he told me and a couple of other people a pretty good joke. That's the kind of person he was, funny and gregarious. When he decided to do it he just did it. Yeah we all knew he had issues, everybody has issues, the point I'm trying to make is that by discussing it you make it less likely to happen, so keep talking.

Good luck.

[Beefy187]

would anyone like to hear the story of my lost love or the girl i liked who dumped me on the day of the dance?

Oh and I never had a girl friend. I came close a few times but my stupidity and chickenness killed every oppotunity of it. I possibly hurted a few of those girls and I really regret that
I do regret it but I tell my self not to make the same silly mistakes and think what I can do to get people to like me.

[Lemur]

John-117, I am on the phone with Natalie from the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. She would very much like to speak with you and hear what's on your mind. Their number:

1-800-784-2433

She would like to see if she can help you in any way. Just ring them up and ask for Natalie; I've given her the most brief outline based on what you have posted here.

[desert]

Eh, I don't know if that was such a good idea. If I were John, that post would scare me off.

It makes you feel like you're obliged to speak to them, and then you get nervous and chicken out.

[Lemur]

I'm not trying to freak anybody out, I just want to move this discussion to a place where people know what they're doing. We all mean well, and I'm honored to see so many Orgahs trying to respond productively, but at the end of the day we're amateurs. I'd like for John-117 to speak to someone who actually knows what she's talking about.

[Aemilius Paulus]

Wait, why was the title and the first post of the thread edited by Lemur??

[Lemur]

I changed the title to "I have big problems; please help me." to cut down on the rubbernecking. I was advised to do this by a Mod with way more experience than I have, so I'm assuming this is a productive step.

I also sincerely hope John-117 is okay.

[King Jan III Sobieski]

Don't do it!

[pevergreen]

I'm not trying to freak anybody out, I just want to move this discussion to a place where people know what they're doing. We all mean well, and I'm honored to see so many Orgahs trying to respond productively, but at the end of the day we're amateurs. I'd like for John-117 to speak to someone who actually knows what she's talking about.

I agree. You guys mean well, but it aint gunna help.

I'm not claiming to be an expert but I've stopped two people from doing it in the last 6 months. Not me alone, but it helps.

I'm gunna PM him. Take this afternoon off work and see if I can talk to him.

[Papewaio]

would anyone like to hear the story of my lost love or the girl i liked who dumped me on the day of the dance?

Okay your life sounds about 100 times better then mine at that age.

I was the uber skinny geek with pimples and no fashion sense. (not really past tense except I'm now fat).

My first girlfriend was when I was 17 after I had finished school.

Friends. Moved schools every two to four years to small country schools were it takes like 3 years to make good friends.

XBox. My first PC was green monochrome that I had to compile the craps (2 dice) program for myself. I didn't get that until I was almost 15.

Friends... eventually as long as you count a paper & pencil Dungeons and Dragons group.

I had pimples from about age 13. The good thing was by the last two years of high school I had none and was eating so much chocolate that I was nicknamed the moro bar kid.

As bad as it got and it got worse. Dumped by my GF of five years will waiting for a cancer biopsy to be examined. Gave away over 500 Fantasy books when I moved overseas. etc.

Things in the end went from horrible in some facets to excellent

Read books, learn about your heroes and be them as much as possible, exercise (this one is awesome, you learn about yourself, can change your body shape, challenge yourself and take control of one aspect of your life...its like getting an upgrade to your most important vehicle), and most importantly humour, dark, light, wry, insightful or inciting... take life with a grain of salt and a laugh.

BTW what do you think is a perfect life? You said it is too much to ask for.

[Strike For The South]

Dude you're only 13. Things will get better. It may not seem like it now but they will. You woke up this morning had two working arms, two working legs, two working eyes. two working ears. You had a roof over your head and food on the table.

Blessings are all around you. You just need to look for them.

[Hooahguy]

as i said before, find a minister. they will help. that and the suicide hotline.

[Novellus]

You are only thirteen and considering suicide? Careful please... I thought about it several times when I was fifteen. At that time, I was considering suicide. Sometimes, I opened up the drawer in my kitchen to look at the knives and seeing which one was the strongest. I didn't have any guns sitting around the house. Going to school each day was misery. I had no friends, and those who claimed to be friends never really spoke to me, avoided me, or ignored me. Others made life miserable, harassing me and degrading me each and every time I set foot into the building. They didn't value my life at all. Why should I have? Things at home began falling apart as well. I was constantly in argument with my parents, and my grades began to plummet. Even the teachers began to take notice as the bright-eyed student they had at the beginning of the school year had become a shade of his former self.

But later on, and in my darkest times, just the right people came at just the right time. I know that you may be thinking that it won't happen for you, that no one will seek you out, and that you will be alone for the rest of your days until you end them yourself. But if this truly is your worst year, how can you be sure that it won't be any better? How can you be sure that it will become worse? That there is no hope? You can't. No one can.

If you end your time here and now, what will happen? "What if" will become your greatest regret whether or not an afterlife exists or not. What if by taking yourself out of the future, you manage to take away the greatest thing that will happen to someone, or many people for that matter, down the road?

Things seem to have a tendency to work themselves out in life, whether you believe in it or not. But if you end your life here and now, I can guarantee that you will see no change happen with yourself. You will never live long enough to be able to look back at your life and judge yourself. Thirteen years is not enough, nor fifteen in my case as it was. But the two years following my decision to put the knife away paved way to a better tomorrow. The blue sky is hidden behind the clouds. One may not always see it, but one knows that it is there. Your time will come when someday, you too will be able to see that skylight, to see the better life that awaits you in time.

The light awaits. Will you be around to see it?

[Monk]

Dude you're only 13. Things will get better. It may not seem like it now but they will. You woke up this morning had two working arms, two working legs, two working eyes. two working ears. You had a roof over your head and food on the table.

Blessings are all around you. You just need to look for them.

It might not seem like a whole lot but it's more than some people can claim. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of the little things in the scope of being so down and depressed.

John, whatever you're going through now? It will pass. I know that may seem easy for me to say but it's the truth, this too shall pass. It takes a lot of courage and heart to survive some of life's , but doing so makes you a stronger person. You just have to remember the things you have, and not dwell on the things you don't.

Take care, and I do hope you stick around.

[Fragony]

So irreversable, what if it only gets better from now on, you are now feeling truly unhappy, that is just as rare as the moments that you are truly happy. Just don't.

[Andres]

John-117, I can only echo what others have said here. Life will get better when the years continue. This crisis you're going to is only temporarily.

And if you can't stand being at home constantly, then maybe consider some of the options others have posted: join a sportsclub. If you don't like to play in team, then there are several individual sports you could pick. There's a whole world out there and it'll take not that long before you'll get the change to discover it.

And you do have friends. Look at this thread. You have alot of friends right here. Whenever you feel like talking or you just need to vent, we are all here for you to listen and give advice.

[I of the Storm]

Maybe you could tell us where you live - roughly - so that if there is a member in your area he/she could give you a direction towards help. If you feel like harming yourself - there's people who can help you out of it. If your parents are mistreating you - there's people who can help you with this. School problems? There's people who can help you with it. And guess what? They want to. It's their job and they're good at it.

Apart from that, many of the people around here - including me - had a hard time as teens. Scorn, not being listened to, not being understood etc. Just you hang on! I got through, my buddy got through and so will you. I've seen people not making it. They thought they were hated, and that they had no friends and no perspective. Can you imagine the amount of sorrow and of despair and the destructive power (literally!) of a suicide on other peoples lives? You think you can? I'm afraid you're wrong. It's worse, far worse! So if you cannot be convinced to spare yourself for yourself, then do it for your fellow men.

Go outside. Spring is coming. Well, assuming you're living on the northern hemisphere, that is.

[Prussian to the Iron]

im in jacksonville, north carolina if youre close your probably military.

but the past few years have been "its only gonna get better" but it never has. if anything my life sucks more than ever for the past 2-3 years and it never got better no matter how long it was.

[Che Roriniho]

Look, ignore it, it's the best way. I know it seems like an eternity, but trust me, 5 years goes by so fast, and then you're free.
Believe me, suicide should NEVER be an option. What will it achieve? yes, short term wins, but who knows, you could turn out to be something special. Kurt Cobain tried to kill himself aged 13, and life turned out all right for him. Barrack obama had a pretty shitty childhood, so you could literally go anywhere. you have your whole life ahead of you.

Don't throw it away, as that would be STUPID.

[Prussian to the Iron]

who is curt cobain? i dont watch the news...so......

[Che Roriniho]

im in jacksonville, north carolina if youre close your probably military.

but the past few years have been "its only gonna get better" but it never has. if anything my life sucks more than ever for the past 2-3 years and it never got better no matter how long it was.

That's because you're still atr home. Move out as soon as you're able, go to university, and have the time of your life. Then get a job, and BUY the time of your life. Money doesn't buy happiness, but it certainly helps.

[Che Roriniho]

who is curt cobain? i dont watch the news...so......

Singer of a rock band called Nirvana. he was almost literally WORSHIPPED throughout the late 80's/early 90's.

Seriously, you could become ANYONE. Just hang on in there. I know you can do it. just give it 10 years, and you WILL be happy. hell, go to Uni, and you'll be VERY happy.

Be careful if you ask religion to help, they can cause all sors of ********. Ring up a suicide prevention line (The Samaritans, for example (I don't know if they have them near you)). They are trained, and believe me, they can help.

[rajpoot]

All right, with so many people out here giving you so many good reasons not to do it, you simply must decide against it you know. And what's suicide? It's running away.....you don't want to run away! If something's bad, you stand up and try straighten it out! Like they've said everyone passes through bad times, but you don't give up! Never ever give up! And giving up on life is worst thing to do! Don't do it.....push the thought away!

[Fragony]

im in jacksonville, north carolina if youre close your probably military.

but the past few years have been "its only gonna get better" but it never has. if anything my life sucks more than ever for the past 2-3 years and it never got better no matter how long it was.

Skipping a class is hard, you probably have the curse that is being overly intelligent. You know life is fun, but you have to nurse it a little, being happy isn't a right. You are 13, I am 32 and I understand just as little. Live with a smile and life smiles back, try it.

[Prussian to the Iron]

finally someone understands. most classes are too easy, and thus i get bored and dont feel like doing shit. then there are some calsses that are too hard (9th grade geometry) andi want to kill whoever came up with it. then some are so boring i want to gouge out my eyes(music appreciation, art, health)

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Well, it's morning and you still here . Always a good sign!


Life can be cruel. And for tough classes..... They are meant to be tough. Not for a bad reason. Just because they are meant to be tough so it will make you..... well, think.



Sucide is not the way to go in life

[Prussian to the Iron]

i suppose ill give it another week. if its not better after the psychologist sees me then ill think more about it.

[Lemur]

John-117, that is outstanding news. Congratulations for coming through what one writer called "the long dark tea-time of the soul."