News of the Weird

[InsaneApache]

It's Rory, it's got to be.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/amjamjazz/3406353191/

[InsaneApache]

Are you tired of wondering if she’s cheating on you? Do you love to leave the toilet seat up? Want to enjoy freedom on the weekend and watch a little football with your buddies, rather than work on your “honey do” list? Well, now you don’t have to worry any of that with the latest craze in adult dating, dating and marrying inmates for conjugal visits. With a conjugal marriage, you will finally have a wife with the perfect amount of freedoms and rights, and more importantly, you will finally start enjoying your own.

http://www.conjugalharmony.com/

Sheer class.

[Gregoshi]

http://www.conjugalharmony.com/

Sheer class.

Want a wife with a body to die for - and mental instability enough to make that desire come true? A woman who could not only steal your heart, but your car and your TV too? Visit conjugalharmony.conm today. At conjugalharmony.com we've redefined the "old ball and chain". Now you can hold the key to her heart and her cell.

[Lemur]

http://www.conjugalharmony.com/

Sheer class.

I love this guy, read an interview with him a year ago or so. Sadly, this is a prank. He also created this one, where families auction off their daughters: Marry Our Daughter.

[InsaneApache]

Oh I know it had to be a spoof, but what a good one. Brilliant.

[Gregoshi]

Yeah, the profiles were a little too tongue-in-cheek "honest" to be legit. But it was a fun read.

[Crazed Rabbit]

I bet the Swedish tax authority doesn't suffer for applicants...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Sweden targets strippers for tax

Webcam stripping is proving lucrative for some Swedish women

Sweden's tax authorities are seeking the bare facts about webcam strippers' income, estimating that hundreds of Swedish women are dodging the law.

The search involves tax officials examining websites that feature Swedish strippers, in an effort to identify them and chase them for tax returns.

The tax loss is estimated at about 40m Swedish kronor (£3.3m) annually.

Project leader Dag Hardyson said 200 Swedish strippers had been investigated so far. He said the total could be 500.

"They are young girls, we can see from the photos. We think that perhaps they are not well informed about the rules," said Mr Hardyson, head of the tax authority's national project on internet trade.

The investigation into strippers is part of a wider tax project that includes online poker and fake trader locations.

Detective work

Mr Hardyson told BBC News that the strippers could be liable to pay about half of their earnings in tax. Striptease via webcam is quite legal in Sweden, unlike prostitution, he added.

"I don't think they have any costs really - almost 100% of what they earn is pocketed. Many have regular work and this is extra income. We want them to register their activity as a business - it's still taxable, even if it's a hobby," he said.

He stressed the difficulty of identifying strippers, saying the contact information on the websites was often "not obvious".

"We have to visit the companies behind the websites to get the information, then we have to work with the electronic wallets where the money is going in."

He said the Swedish tax authorities had been tipped off about Swedish internet strippers by the Dutch authorities, who had started a similar investigation earlier.

Web search tools like spiders had failed to detect the Swedish strippers.

"When we investigated the sites manually it worked better," he added.

I'll bet it did

CR

[Caius]

Australian women's breasts expanding at an alarming rate

A defense against octosquids?

The bra market is expanding, literally. Up to 40 per cent of Australian women now buy bras with a cup size of DD or higher, new figures from lingerie suppliers show.

In the 1950s, the most common bra-cup size was a B — three sizes less than a DD.

Modern breasts are getting so large that some bra companies have introduced cup sizes as high as K, The Sunday Telegraph reports.

Experts blame the cleavage boost on obesity, contraceptive pills and artificial hormones.

Best idea to repleace airbags.

[Lemur]

Taiwanese man arrested for giving away money

Taiwan police have arrested a 55-year-old man for lobbing bank notes worth about T$1 million ($41,000) from vehicles, causing disorder in the streets. The man tossed the bills from a taxi in a crowded part of Taichung city yesetrday as people stopped to pick up the cash, Changhua police official Lin Shih-ming said.

"He might have had a nervous condition, as his state of mind wasn't normal," Mr Lin said. He is believed to have thrown heaps more money on an earlier road trip starting in the capital Taipei. [...]

The suspect would be charged with public endangerment and destruction of currency, Mr Lin said.

[Lemur]

I married the Eiffel Tower

Imagine a world in which people seem hostile while inanimate objects appear friendly—even affectionate. Imagine dreading the touch of another human but longing for a passionate encounter with a large public structure. This is the strange world of the "objectum sexual"—a group of people, mainly women, whose intimate lives revolve around objects with which they say they share romantic and sexual love. [...]

Amy Wolfe is a confident 32-year-old American who also lives in New York State. She too has been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, and has been in relationships with models of spaceships, the Twin Towers, a church organ and a banister, though her main lover—since OS people believe in polygamy—is a fairground ride called 1001 Nacht, located at Knoebels, an amusement park in New York State.

When we filmed her at Knoebels visiting 1001 Nacht, we witnessed Wolfe kissing, caressing and talking to the austere, crane-like machine, and I began to feel both uncomfortable and a little frightened. Wolfe truly believes the machine talks back to her. As I watched, I wondered not for the first time whether I was crossing the line from a documentary film-maker to a voyeur. Should I have left her alone? "No, no—show our love for the objects," Wolfe insisted. "Give us our voice. People must understand we are not fetishists."

[Gregoshi]

I married the Eiffel Tower

Amy Wolfe is a confident 32-year-old American who also lives in New York State...located at Knoebels, an amusement park in New York State.

Shoddy reporting. Knoebels is in Pennsylvania and not even really close to the New York border.

Weird condition though. It takes the phrase "being the object of her affections" a bit too literal.

[Marshal Murat]

Ibsens "Master Builder" makes so much more sense now...

[Lemur]

Man goes to hospital for cancer, finds out he has a fir tree growing in one lung

A young man from the capital of Russia’s Udmurtian Republic was diagnosed with cancer, and had to undergo an operation which revealed the shocking truth – he had no cancer but… a tree growing in his lung. [...]An X-Ray showed a new growth in his lung, and doctors were certain it was a cancerous one.

Fortunately, when they dissected Artyom’s chest, it was decided to cut out a small piece first, and to carry out an express biopsy test. The doctor made an incision in the lung and saw… a fir tree.

[InsaneApache]

Fir enough, that should spruce him up somewhat, otherwise he might pine. I bet his name is Douglas as well. That's enough for now, I wouldn't want him to get the needle. I imagine he thinks there's no place like cone. Evergreen that he is.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Man bites snake in epic struggle

A Kenyan man bit a python which wrapped him in its coils and dragged him up a tree during a fierce three-hour struggle, police have told the BBC. The serpent seized farm worker Ben Nyaumbe in the Malindi area of Kenya's Indian Ocean coast at the weekend. Mr Nyaumbe bit the snake on the tip of the tail during the exhausting battle in the village of Sabaki. Mr Nyaumbe used his shirt to smother the snake's head and prevent it from swallowing him.



Peter Katam, superintendent of police in Malindi district, told the BBC News website: "Two officers on patrol were called and they found this man was struggling with a snake on a tree. The snake had coiled his hands and was trying to swallow him but he struggled very hard. The officers and villagers managed to rescue him and he was freed.

Police rescued Mr Nyaumbe and captured the 13ft (4m) reptile, before taking it to a sanctuary, but it later escaped. "We are still seriously looking for the snake," said Supt Katam. "We want to arrest the snake because any one of us could fall a victim."

[Conqueror]

I find that story kind of hard to swallow.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Weirdest Robbery Ever:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

According to Life.ru, the events unfolded on the evening of March 14 as the stylist was wrapping up her shift at the salon in the Kaluga region town of Meshchovsk.

The robber, a 32-year-old man identified by Life.ru as "Viktor," burst into the salon at around 5 p.m. waving a pistol and ordered all of the stylists and clients to hit the floor and toss him their money.

At this point, 28-year-old Olga, whom Life.ru describes as a "delicate" girl trained in martial arts, was apparently still standing when she offered to hand over her cash. But when Viktor tried to accept her contribution, Olga surprised him with a quick punch to the chest, knocking the wind out of him before she flipped him to the ground.

Olga proceeded to tie Viktor up with a hair-dryer cord, gagged him and dragged him into a storage room.

Curiously, Life.ru reports, Olga instructed the others to keep working, telling them that the police would soon arrive.

But this feel-good moment for the good guy proved ephemeral. Things soon turned ugly, according to Life.ru.

The police did not come. And after the other stylists and clients went home for the evening, Olga told Viktor to "take off his underwear" and, with apologies to John Cougar Mellencamp, let her do as she pleases, lest she call the cops, Life.ru said.

She tied him to the radiator with handcuffs covered in frilly pink fabric, gave him some Viagra and had her way with him several times over the next 48 hours. When she finally let him go on the evening of March 16, Viktor had been "squeezed like a lemon," Life.ru reported.

First, he went to the hospital to have his injured genitals treated; then he went to police and filed a complaint asking that Olga be brought up on criminal charges for committing "actions of a sexual nature" that left him with injured sexual organs, according to a copy of the complaint posted on Life.ru.

Olga was apparently incensed when she learned of the complaint. She had, after all, even tried to be nice to her purported captive.

"What a jerk," Life.ru quoted her as saying. "Yeah, there were a few times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and drink, and gave him 1,000 rubles when he left."

The following day, Olga filed a complaint with police, asking that Viktor be charged in the salon robbery. Life.ru posted a copy of her statement as well.

"I don't know what's going to happen now," the web site quoted a local police officer as saying. "We could put both of them behind bars: him for robbery, her for rape and assault."

CR

[Husar]

No picture of Olga? I was considering to rob her...

[Lemur]

From the "Oh, Now They Tell Us" Department:

All Octopuses Are Venomous

Researchers knew that the blue-ringed octopus packed venom. Now they say all octopuses and cuttlefish, and some squid are venomous. In fact they all share a common, ancient venomous ancestor, the study indicates, and the work suggests new avenues for drug discovery.

While the blue-ringed octopus species remain the only group that are dangerous to humans, the other species have been quietly using their venom for predation, such as paralyzing a clam into opening its shell.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Whilst it is clear from recent postings that the Dark Side has taken over law enforcement, there is a New Hope...

Jane's Police Review editor Chris Herbert, who requested the information, said: "The Force appears to be strong in Strathclyde Police with their Jedi police officers and staff.
"Far from living a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, some members of the noble Jedi order have now chosen Glasgow and its surrounding streets as their home."

[Gregoshi]

They are Jedi because they worship Guinness.

[shlin28]

How to Stop Somalian Pirates

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Thousands of dolphins blocked the suspected Somali pirate ships when they were trying to attack Chinese merchant ships passing the Gulf of Aden, the China Radio International reported on Monday.

The Chinese merchant ships escorted by a China's fleet sailed on the Gulf of Aden when they met some suspected pirate ships. Thousands of dolphins suddenly leaped out of water between pirates and merchants when the pirate ships headed for the China's.

The suspected pirates ships stopped and then turned away. The pirates could only lament their littleness befor the vast number of dolphins. The spectacular scene continued for a while.

The key to stopping piracy is... dolphins?

[Lemur]

Man bites off tip of his own penis

Damiene Iriarte was found naked and bleeding behind a building in the Fort Greene section of Brooklyn after having bitten the tip off his own penis, police told a local newspaper.

It goes without saying that he was subsequently hospitalized.

"How he did it? Limber, I guess. Not the work of a sane mind," a police official told The Daily News.

[InsaneApache]

Is it me or is man loses/bitten/sawed/hacked/chewed penis getting more frequent?

[Crazed Rabbit]

Maybe it has to do with the shrinking economy. The whole situation is a bit hairy right now, after all.

CR

[Strike For The South]

Man bites off tip of his own penis

Damiene Iriarte was found naked and bleeding behind a building in the Fort Greene section of Brooklyn after having bitten the tip off his own penis, police told a local newspaper.

It goes without saying that he was subsequently hospitalized.

"How he did it? Limber, I guess. Not the work of a sane mind," a police official told The Daily News.

He just blew a gift I would kill for.

We say no teeth for a reason.

Seriously....How many can do this? It's like finding out your Iq is 200 and then blowing your brains.

IS THERE NO GOD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[Fragony]

Weirdest Robbery Ever:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

According to Life.ru, the events unfolded on the evening of March 14 as the stylist was wrapping up her shift at the salon in the Kaluga region town of Meshchovsk.

The robber, a 32-year-old man identified by Life.ru as "Viktor," burst into the salon at around 5 p.m. waving a pistol and ordered all of the stylists and clients to hit the floor and toss him their money.

At this point, 28-year-old Olga, whom Life.ru describes as a "delicate" girl trained in martial arts, was apparently still standing when she offered to hand over her cash. But when Viktor tried to accept her contribution, Olga surprised him with a quick punch to the chest, knocking the wind out of him before she flipped him to the ground.

Olga proceeded to tie Viktor up with a hair-dryer cord, gagged him and dragged him into a storage room.

Curiously, Life.ru reports, Olga instructed the others to keep working, telling them that the police would soon arrive.

But this feel-good moment for the good guy proved ephemeral. Things soon turned ugly, according to Life.ru.

The police did not come. And after the other stylists and clients went home for the evening, Olga told Viktor to "take off his underwear" and, with apologies to John Cougar Mellencamp, let her do as she pleases, lest she call the cops, Life.ru said.

She tied him to the radiator with handcuffs covered in frilly pink fabric, gave him some Viagra and had her way with him several times over the next 48 hours. When she finally let him go on the evening of March 16, Viktor had been "squeezed like a lemon," Life.ru reported.

First, he went to the hospital to have his injured genitals treated; then he went to police and filed a complaint asking that Olga be brought up on criminal charges for committing "actions of a sexual nature" that left him with injured sexual organs, according to a copy of the complaint posted on Life.ru.

Olga was apparently incensed when she learned of the complaint. She had, after all, even tried to be nice to her purported captive.

"What a jerk," Life.ru quoted her as saying. "Yeah, there were a few times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and drink, and gave him 1,000 rubles when he left."

The following day, Olga filed a complaint with police, asking that Viktor be charged in the salon robbery. Life.ru posted a copy of her statement as well.

"I don't know what's going to happen now," the web site quoted a local police officer as saying. "We could put both of them behind bars: him for robbery, her for rape and assault."

CR

Olga just became my ultimate sexual fantasy

[Pannonian]

No picture of Olga? I was considering to rob her...

Here you go.

[InsaneApache]

She looks like she's been repeatedly jabbed in the face by a potato masher.

[Pannonian]

She looks like she's been repeatedly jabbed in the face by a potato masher.

Rather harsh description of pixellation.