Puberty at 13, sex at 18?

[Kadagar_AV]

This is something I have wondered about lately...

What drives us to set a age-limitation on sex?

I mean, I would understand if the law was against sex with people before puberty, as that would in fact hurt them. I then could of course understand a law against non-consensual sex.

However, if a 15 year old girl wants to have sex with her boyfriend, why shouldnt she?

In Sweden the age limit is 15, however, if the boyfriend is also young it wont go to court if she is 13 or 14...



My question, I assume, is why do we need rules to regulate post-puberty consensual sex?

[Beskar]

Mental Maturity and age of accepting responsibilities. It is rather silly having a drinking age at 18 but having a sex age limit lower as sexual relations require far more responsibility for behaviour and using condoms.

It used to be the rule of no sex before marriage as well.

[Kadagar_AV]

In austria the age for both sex and drinking is 16...

still, the hot girls and boys are no longer virgins or at 14 or 15...

[Beskar]

The thing is, what I hate about these legalities, is my opinion is "They have sex when the time is right", so my opinion of let's say the UK laws where it is 16 is, people see 16 at the time to have sex, if not before, when they are obviously not ready.

So legally speaking, an age where is it isn't considered abuse is right, however, it doesn't mean people at that age should just go and have orgies.

[Kadagar_AV]

Very good point beskar!

I also noticed how a "lawful" age pressured girls into having sex, rather than protected girls not ready.

EDIT: this goes for boys too...

[pevergreen]

Legal age here is 16.

Drinking 18.

Drinking normally starts at 13-14, sex at 14-15.

But yes, it should be enforced etc.

I know a lot of people that havent had sex though, but hey. If they are smart enough they wait.

[a completely inoffensive name]

The purpose is noble, but the idea of getting kids to stop having sex is kind of silly. I wish they spent much more on education and access to protection.

[Tratorix]

The purpose is noble, but the idea of getting kids to stop having sex is kind of silly. I wish they spent much more on education and access to protection.

I always thought the main purpose of laws like these was to keep creepy older guys from having sex with thirteen year olds. Your second sentence is spot on though.

[Kadagar_AV]

pevergreen, would you explain why it is "smart" to wait with having sex?

Is it smart to wait before having your first laugh? Should you save your first laugh for the perfect joke? Should you wait untill you know what a good joke is before you laugh?


ACIN, agreed. But then still, testosterone/hormones > education...


Tratorix, I know a guy who is 32 who just last winter had sex with a girl being 16... She was a bartender, he was a ski instructor... It was only sex, no love attached... From what she told me, it was good for both of them :)

Granted, this guy is not "creepy"... And she was really really into him and really did her best to get him in bed. He was rather hesitant...

[pevergreen]

pevergreen, would you explain why it is "smart" to wait with having sex?

Is it smart to wait before having your first laugh? Should you save your first laugh for the perfect joke? Should you wait untill you know what a good joke is before you laugh?

is sex like any of those things?

No.

I wasn't ready. It emotionally damaged me, her and the relationship we had.

It also is the way you approach the situation.

[Kadagar_AV]

To me it sounds like you, or maybe her, read to much into it.

Sex is sex, making love is making love... The better you are at the former, the better you are at the later...

One should never learn how to make love from watching porn, though...

[Beskar]

Sex and Making Love are two different things.

If they both the same to you, you haven't made love. or.. you never just had random sex.

[a completely inoffensive name]

One should never learn how to make love from watching porn, though...

EDIT: Bleh, I didn't care for my joke.

[Fragony]

Age cap is at 13 here as long as nobody is older than 18.

[a completely inoffensive name]

I always thought the main purpose of laws like these was to keep creepy older guys from having sex with thirteen year olds. Your second sentence is spot on though.

Ah yeah, I totally forgot about the creepy old guys. Ruining everything. Well if that is the purpose I think something still needs to be done because these laws have incidences of putting 18 years olds having sex with 17 year olds (in the same friggen grade just a couple months difference in birthdays) on the national sex offender list.

[pevergreen]

To me it sounds like you, or maybe her, read to much into it.

Sex is sex, making love is making love... The better you are at the former, the better you are at the later...

One should never learn how to make love from watching porn, though...

As per the other thread, my number is one. So now I havent had random sex.

[Tribesman]

It used to be the rule of no sex before marriage as well.

When?

[HoreTore]

The reason these laws exist, is not to stop kids having sex. At least that's not the case here. With a legal age of 16, it's only illegal for an adult to have sex with anyone under 16. Kids are free to do whatever they please, there is no law against teens having sex.

[Papewaio]

One should never learn how to make love from watching porn, though...

That would be like learning about WWII from a Hollywood movie.

Highly entertaining, very easy on the eyes but probably not a very accurate sound track or correct sequence of events...

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

That would be like learning about WWII from a Hollywood movie.

Highly entertaining, very easy on the eyes but probably not a very accurate sound track or correct sequence of events...

Quoted for profundity and hilarity.

More seriously though, it tends to be that the lower the age limit the lower the taboo and the earlier fids break it. So, in addition to creepy old guys, and creepy young guys too, taking advantage you also have a general effort to discourage sex before a certain age. It's not perfect by any means, but it's better than not trying at all.

Also, it's worth remembering that there is a vast range responses to sex. Some people get very upset over a drunken kiss, others shrug odd full intercouse as irrelevant. I would like to say there's a happy medium but, to be honest, I don't think our attitude to sex is something we have a great deal of control over.

[Beirut]

The reason these laws exist, is not to stop kids having sex. At least that's not the case here. With a legal age of 16, it's only illegal for an adult to have sex with anyone under 16. Kids are free to do whatever they please, there is no law against teens having sex.

What he said.

They have brought in new laws in Canada that allows for a two-year age gap with young people. It's so some guy who's 16 doesn't go get labeled a sexual offender and go to jail for having sex with his 14 year-old girlfriend. Or a 15 year-old with a 13 year-old. Etc, etc.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

What he said.

They have brought in new laws in Canada that allows for a two-year age gap with young people. It's so some guy who's 16 doesn't go get labeled a sexual offender and go to jail for having sex with his 14 year-old girlfriend. Or a 15 year-old with a 13 year-old. Etc, etc.

I still think 13 is defniately too young, I'm pretty sure Rory will tell you the decision making part of the brain is pretty under-developed at that age.

[HoreTore]

I still think 13 is defniately too young, I'm pretty sure Rory will tell you the decision making part of the brain is pretty under-developed at that age.

Well, the thing is, what you believe doesn't really matter, we still cannot punish two 13-year olds for doing each other, that would be madness.

[Rhyfelwyr]

You can't put an age on when someone will be ready for it. Even physically, I think people are reaching puberty earlier than they used to, and this is probably due to health reasons.

And I'm not just imagining this because I'm a grumply old fart that thinks things aint what they were like in the good old days. My (anectodal) evidence is from the two sets of friends my younger brothers, who is IIRC 12, has. One set is from his new private (posh/good) school, the other from his old school which isn't in the best of areas. Now, having seen some of his new friends around, they look massive, one is not a lot shorter than I am (and I'm average height). And they all have deep voices, in fact when one of them spoke once I nearly burst out laughing because it just looks so ridiculous to me to see a kid speaking like that.

But in the set of friends from his old school (which he still sees and I see them around because they live locally), they are still fairly small and have high-pitched voices. The reason for this difference between the two groups is I think health reasons. Having went to the same private school as my brother for a few years, the lifestyle most of them have is very healthy, they eat good food and lots of it, and they do a lot of exercise etc. But the people from the old school do not, they spend their time on their xboxes or hanging round on street corners, I remember when I was there we used to spend all our lunch money on sweets at the corner shop, and the local McDonalds and KFC are always busy. In particular, my brother's best friend from his old school is a pale, gaunt, gingernut who always seems to have a hacking cough (basically he reminds me of myself at that age), and his voice is as squeaky as ever.

Anyway, I don't know if health actually has any effect on when you hit puberty, but that's what I've seen.

[Fragony]

I still think 13 is defniately too young

Why, the moment you get interested is the moment you are ready. If I had a 13 year old daughter I wouldn't mind if she slept with her boyfriend if the age difference isn't too big, I would feel that way from 20+ or so.

[HoreTore]

Why, the moment you get interested is the moment you are ready. If I had a 13 year old daughter I wouldn't mind if she slept with her boyfriend if the age difference isn't too big, I would feel that way from 20+ or so.

Why?

Because everything fun and natural needs to be illegal, frags. That's why.

[Seamus Fermanagh]

When?

Adultery laws were common in many polities, Tribes, and are still on the books in some. Pre-marital sex usually came under those ordinances.

[Tribesman]

Adultery laws were common in many polities, Tribes, and are still on the books in some. Pre-marital sex usually came under those ordinances.

How so? Adultery is covered by breach of contract, pre marital sex isn't.

[Fragony]

Why?

Because everything fun and natural needs to be illegal, frags. That's why.

heh can't the dutch and the vikings form their own happy little union and let the rest of the world chase their tails?

[HoreTore]

heh can't the dutch and the vikings form their own happy little union and let the rest of the world chase their tails?

I've been advocating a return of the viking raids for years now, you're more than welcome to join!

Though I do suggest we rape a country with, shall we say.... "women of a more acceptable standard" than the british isles...

The French, perhaps?