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Thread: An Open Letter To All Americans

  1. #1
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default An Open Letter To All Americans

    As some of you know (some of you may not) There is a sport called soccer. In this sport you're only allowed to use your feet unless you are the man in a different color shirt gaurding a rather large net. In which case you use oven mitts to save the ball from going in said net.

    Soccer tends to be boring. there is very little scoring and no cracking of pads. There are no cheeleaders and there is no tailgating.

    In this sport there is a great get together known as the world cup. I can only assume they stole that from our World Series! This "world cup" happends every 4 years and is watched by many people for a reason I really can't figure out.

    At any rate The United States Of America drew england. That's right boys, england. The same country that we beat in the revolutionary war, war of 1812, civil war, Spanish-American war, WWI, WWII, Vietnam and desert storm.

    They apparntley are back for more and its time to put them back in the place.

    I urge all true Americans to start following soccer and BEAT THE LIMEY'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  2. #2

    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    AWESOME. When do we play?

    ....

    next...summer?

  3. #3
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro View Post
    AWESOME. When do we play?

    ....

    next...summer?
    I can keep this up for 6 months
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  4. #4

    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Lets do it strike! We'll take em on! BRING IT!
    Tho' I've belted you an' flayed you,
    By the livin' Gawd that made you,
    You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
    Quote Originally Posted by North Korea
    It is our military's traditional response to quell provocative actions with a merciless thunderbolt.

  5. #5
    Βασιλευς και Αυτοκρατωρ Αρχης Member Centurio Nixalsverdrus's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    I holeheartedly wish you Americans all the best.

    Are there any Texans in team USA?

  6. #6
    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    You have our gwatitude.

    I eagerly await the ensuing euroweenie "It's FOOTBALL not soccer!" rage posts and condescendingly smug posts. They are delicious candy to me.


    "Justice is the firm and continuous desire to render to everyone
    that which is his due."
    - Justinian I

  7. #7
    Tree Killer Senior Member Beirut's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Unto each good man a good dog

  8. #8
    Mr Self Important Senior Member Beskar's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Don't you mean football?
    Days since the Apocalypse began
    "We are living in space-age times but there's too many of us thinking with stone-age minds" | How to spot a Humanist
    "Men of Quality do not fear Equality." | "Belief doesn't change facts. Facts, if you are reasonable, should change your beliefs."

  9. #9
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Centurio Nixalsverdrus View Post
    I holeheartedly wish you Americans all the best.

    Are there any Texans in team USA?
    There are 8 Texans in our player pool including Dempsy.
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  10. #10
    Oni Member Samurai Waki's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Just change the name to 'Modified Kick Ball' and more Americans would start watching.

  11. #11
    Your Divine Intervention Member Snite's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Oh man kickball is awesome!!

    Uh.. oh yeah... quoted for truth.
    Ubi Libertas Habitat Ibi Nostra Patria Est: "Where Liberty Lives there is our Homeland"

  12. #12

    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
    Don't you mean football?
    The germans call american football "Football" and soccer "Fußball"

  13. #13
    Βασιλευς και Αυτοκρατωρ Αρχης Member Centurio Nixalsverdrus's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    There are 8 Texans in our player pool including Dempsy.
    That's more than a third of the total number. Where's your Texan self consciousness? Just find a way to oust the Americans from the team to not be hindered by them (especially if it's a goal keeper). Better with 8 Texans than with 11 Americans, no?

    Go and teach them foul-teethed Tommies a lesson. Normally we Germans do it, but I guess it's fair enough to step back this time and leave the honour to Texas alone.

  14. #14
    Member Megas Methuselah's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    That OP was freakin awesome!

  15. #15
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro View Post
    The germans call american football "Football" and soccer "Fußball"
    Out of sheer reverence for the beauty of England's gift to the world, the French Academie exceptionally allows the French language to honour England for it by not renaming association football with a French term. It is 'le Football' in French.

    I don't think there's even a name for Yank padded football.


    (But 'soccer' inquébécois. )
    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
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  16. #16
    Horse Archer Senior Member Sarmatian's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    That's the proper way to stir football passion in the US - rivalry with England. Actually, that's probably the only way

    Since I always root for the underdog, I'll cheer for the US.

  17. #17
    Member Member Ferret's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Beirut View Post
    we'll breeze the group

  18. #18
    Member Member Hax's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    These are the countries I favour:






    This space intentionally left blank.

  19. #19
    Friend of Lady Luck Member Mooks's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    I seriosly hope we win this, just smear it in europe's face that we can beat them in anything -even a sport most of us dont give a damn about-.
    Quote Originally Posted by Furunculus View Post
    i love the idea that angsty-teens can get so spazzed out by computer games that they try to rage-rape themselves with a remote.

  20. #20
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Centurio Nixalsverdrus View Post
    That's more than a third of the total number. Where's your Texan self consciousness? Just find a way to oust the Americans from the team to not be hindered by them (especially if it's a goal keeper). Better with 8 Texans than with 11 Americans, no?

    Go and teach them foul-teethed Tommies a lesson. Normally we Germans do it, but I guess it's fair enough to step back this time and leave the honour to Texas alone.
    In the pool. I think the pool comprises of 40 not 24.

    Either way, this is a time where we must stand as one
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  21. #21
    Devout worshipper of Bilious Member miotas's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Mooks View Post
    I seriosly hope we win this, just smear it in europe's face that we can beat them in anything -even a sport most of us dont give a damn about-.
    Hey, what about cricket huh? I doubt even the English could lose to you at cricket.

    - Four Horsemen of the Presence

  22. #22
    the G-Diffuser Senior Member pevergreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    This time, italy, you'll be OUR
    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    The org will be org until everyone calls it a day.

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan View Post
    but I joke. Some of my best friends are Vietnamese villages.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
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  23. #23
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Ozzie ozzie ozzie! Oi oi oi!
    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
    Texan by birth, woodpecker by the grace of God
    I would be the voice of your conscience if you had one - Brenus
    Bt why woulf we uy lsn'y Staraft - Fragony
    Not everything
    blue and underlined is a link


  24. #24
    Senior Member Senior Member naut's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    España para el Euro. España para la Taza de Mundo.

    Looking forward to beating you Americans. Probably the best opposition we could have hoped for, similar style to us (strong, physical players with little technique). Anyone continental or South American and we would have been in big, big trouble.
    #Hillary4prism

    BD:TW

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    And hold that everything depends upon having the “right” religion.
    But when one really knows, one has no need of religion. - Mahavyuha Sutra

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  25. #25
    Horse Archer Senior Member Sarmatian's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Mooks View Post
    I seriosly hope we win this, just smear it in europe's face that we can beat them in anything -even a sport most of us dont give a damn about-.
    That's right, I mean, you're the best in the world in baseball and American football

  26. #26

    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarmatian View Post
    That's right, I mean, you're the best in the world in baseball and American football
    Serbia:
    Gold medals: 0
    Silver medals: 2
    Bronze medals: 0
    Total: 2

    USA:
    Gold medals: 1008
    Silver medals: 810
    Bronze medals: 696
    Total: 2514

    Kiss the medals baby

  27. #27
    Liar and Trickster Senior Member Andres's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Belgium didn't even qualify, again...

    Mexico '86, will those days ever come back?

    Andres is our Lord and Master and could strike us down with thunderbolts or beer cans at any time. ~Askthepizzaguy

    Ja mata, TosaInu

  28. #28
    Senior Member Senior Member naut's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro View Post
    Serbia:
    Gold medals: 0
    Silver medals: 2
    Bronze medals: 0
    Total: 2

    USA:
    Gold medals: 1008
    Silver medals: 810
    Bronze medals: 696
    Total: 2514

    Kiss the medals baby
    It'd be a better comparison if you did medals per capita.
    #Hillary4prism

    BD:TW

    Some piously affirm: "The truth is such and such. I know! I see!"
    And hold that everything depends upon having the “right” religion.
    But when one really knows, one has no need of religion. - Mahavyuha Sutra

    Freedom necessarily involves risk. - Alan Watts

  29. #29
    Horse Archer Senior Member Sarmatian's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Quote Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro View Post
    Serbia:
    Gold medals: 0
    Silver medals: 2
    Bronze medals: 0
    Total: 2

    USA:
    Gold medals: 1008
    Silver medals: 810
    Bronze medals: 696
    Total: 2514

    Kiss the medals baby
    Quote Originally Posted by Psychonaut View Post
    It'd be a better comparison if you did medals per capita.
    Or maybe per GDP, or perhaps by how many sport players who won those medals were actually born in the country, ie. are not naturalized... Or, I don't know, not use a country that exists 5 years as a basis for comparison and at least take into account medals won by Yugoslavia?

    Even though, I've got another statistics for you, read it and weep. To be fair on you, I picked basketball, a sport you Americans invented.

    World Championships:
    USA
    Gold medals: 3
    Silver medals: 3
    Bronze medals: 4

    Serbia/Yugoslavia
    Gold medals: 5
    Silver medals: 3
    Bronze medals: 2

    Point proven, case closed

  30. #30
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Open Letter To All Americans

    Beating England, where's the fun it that

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