Things you aren't very proud of.

[Aemilius Paulus]

Myself.

[Centurion1]

dnt worry ap ima proud of you. u an upstnding young man even if your a stinkn libral.

[Azathoth]

Lol, sounds like a good one.

Myself.

YES. Exactly.

[tibilicus]

dnt worry ap ima proud of you. u an upstnding young man even if your a stinkn libral.

Are you drunk?

[Centurion1]

Are you drunk?

nyet......... see gameroom.... ima on percoct for wisdm teeth removl tmmrw. be happy im usning this language.

and im only 17 no drunk at home for sure here.

[Centurion1]

I am going to type this very clearly and take my time to show the true regret i show. I once got a history book signed by the Author thanks to a friend of my Fathers. I never sent him a thank you until after he was dead..........

To this day I feel terrible about that entire experience.

May Deus indulgeo mihi

[Thermal]

Why are you going to hell?

I am and thats not because I'm an atheist nor that I've been evil to anyone... (This isn't sarcasm either)

[seireikhaan]

My musical heritage exam...

[jabarto]

This isn't really cruel or anything like what some of you guys are posting but I'm not very proud of it nevertheless.

I went to a privatre school for grades 3-8. Every other day for every single one of those 5 years, we would play soccer at recess in a nearby field. In all those years, I only scored one goal.

And it was for the wrong team.

[Samurai Waki]

I have a strange familial trait of needing to surprise and terrorize my loved ones from time to time. I had one such urge on our anniversary a couple years ago, my wife bought a nice dress... I bought a relatively nice bottle of champagne, which I had deliberately shaken to the point where the seal was ready to burst before ever needing to uncork it. I had a change of heart early on, and decided to stow the bedeviled champagne bottle as far back in the reserve wine rack in the pantry as possible. My wife had spent all evening making dinner, and making the atmosphere as romantic as possible. She asked me what we should drink, I told her not even thinking about my earlier act of evil, that she should get one of the good bottles out of the wine rack in the pantry. I got a phone call from work, and needed to write down some information in the other room... a short time into the call I heard a large BANG it sounded like a gun had been fired, I told my boss I had to go and rushed over into the other room... my wife, the table, dinner, the cabinets was soaked with champagne. The look on Amanda's face was priceless... a mixture between shock and horror, drenched from head to toe. She looked like a wet cat. Then the tears came... I just didn't have the heart to tell her I had shook the bottle. Suffice it to say, I got off scott free... but I still feel slightly guilty over that mistake, I ruined our anniversary... still makes me laugh though.

[Fragony]

Oh common that is hilarious, I can see it happening hehe. Now my dad, he was a jerk, my mom he to pee when they were on the road, 'sure honey just do it behind the car' ->> vroooooom, on a highway. Talking about peeing, he also made me pee against an electric fence. The prick.

problem is that I got his genes, gotten me many 'what the hell was I thinking' moment, but they were all great idea's at the time.

[Vuk]

I once murdered a child. I kind of feel bad about that.

[The Stranger]

thats not even remotely funny...

[The Stranger]

I have a strange familial trait of needing to surprise and terrorize my loved ones from time to time. I had one such urge on our anniversary a couple years ago, my wife bought a nice dress... I bought a relatively nice bottle of champagne, which I had deliberately shaken to the point where the seal was ready to burst before ever needing to uncork it. I had a change of heart early on, and decided to stow the bedeviled champagne bottle as far back in the reserve wine rack in the pantry as possible. My wife had spent all evening making dinner, and making the atmosphere as romantic as possible. She asked me what we should drink, I told her not even thinking about my earlier act of evil, that she should get one of the good bottles out of the wine rack in the pantry. I got a phone call from work, and needed to write down some information in the other room... a short time into the call I heard a large BANG it sounded like a gun had been fired, I told my boss I had to go and rushed over into the other room... my wife, the table, dinner, the cabinets was soaked with champagne. The look on Amanda's face was priceless... a mixture between shock and horror, drenched from head to toe. She looked like a wet cat. Then the tears came... I just didn't have the heart to tell her I had shook the bottle. Suffice it to say, I got off scott free... but I still feel slightly guilty over that mistake, I ruined our anniversary... still makes me laugh though.

devil...

sounds like something i would do, if i ever did bad stuff... which i dont.

[Vuk]

thats not even remotely funny...

That child was a Stranger.
lol, lighten up. :P Ok, fine, maybe I should take the advice of your sig next time I think of another really funny joke. :P

[The Stranger]

i'm not shocked or anything... its just not funny :P you should make a story like Wakizashi.

[Subotan]

I once murdered a child. I kind of feel bad about that.

...

if i ever did bad stuff... which i dont.

lies

[Rhyfelwyr]

When the subway arrived at the station today, it stopped with quite a halt, and sent a fat girl behind me flying to the floor. A couple of old women asked if she was OK while I made a hasty exit before I started to burst out laughing.

[Vuk]

Posting irreverent jokes on this thread.

[Moosemanmoo]

I once lost one of the guns from my toy X-wing and then stole a replacement from my friend
Then my mum found my missing gun and was like

[Csargo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQcg...rom=PL&index=2

[a completely inoffensive name]

I once murdered a child. I kind of feel bad about that.

Wow, way to fail.

[Megas Methuselah]

I saw a woman having seizure but I acted like I saw nothing. I didn't even tell other passengers. I just sat there like I was in a human safari or something. I said to myself, "damn this is like the Exorcist". I guesss I felt bad a little so I offered her my bottle of water but she didn't want it.

I have a strange familial trait of needing to surprise and terrorize my loved ones from time to time. I had one such urge on our anniversary a couple years ago, my wife bought a nice dress... I bought a relatively nice bottle of champagne, which I had deliberately shaken to the point where the seal was ready to burst before ever needing to uncork it. I had a change of heart early on, and decided to stow the bedeviled champagne bottle as far back in the reserve wine rack in the pantry as possible. My wife had spent all evening making dinner, and making the atmosphere as romantic as possible. She asked me what we should drink, I told her not even thinking about my earlier act of evil, that she should get one of the good bottles out of the wine rack in the pantry. I got a phone call from work, and needed to write down some information in the other room... a short time into the call I heard a large BANG it sounded like a gun had been fired, I told my boss I had to go and rushed over into the other room... my wife, the table, dinner, the cabinets was soaked with champagne. The look on Amanda's face was priceless... a mixture between shock and horror, drenched from head to toe. She looked like a wet cat. Then the tears came... I just didn't have the heart to tell her I had shook the bottle. Suffice it to say, I got off scott free... but I still feel slightly guilty over that mistake, I ruined our anniversary... still makes me laugh though.

Oh common that is hilarious, I can see it happening hehe. Now my dad, he was a jerk, my mom he to pee when they were on the road, 'sure honey just do it behind the car' ->> vroooooom, on a highway. Talking about peeing, he also made me pee against an electric fence. The prick.

problem is that I got his genes, gotten me many 'what the hell was I thinking' moment, but they were all great idea's at the time.

Yeah, I was just non-stop laughing this whole time for, like, 5 minutes straight. I'm serious, these stories were freakin hilarious as hell.

I once murdered a child. I kind of feel bad about that.

[Vuk]

Wow, way to fail.

**ALERT!**ALERT!!**
Prude detector Alert!

[Thermal]

He didn't fail, it was hilarious


I think

[The Stranger]

...

lies

lies he says... puh... he doesnt know i'm the saint of strangers.

[miotas]

i'm the saint of strangers.

You're dead?

[Megas Methuselah]

What?

[Aemilius Paulus]

He didn't fail, it was hilarious

Alright, so a fellow slipped up, it happens all the time with humour, but there is no reason why you should go down with him

[Beskar]

You're dead?

What?

You only become a saint after your death.