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  1. #1
    Banned ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many health problems do you have?

    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    Handsome features, gorgeous body, sky-high IQ, and never a health problem in my life.


    God, it almost hurts to be me. Bless that spermcell for outpacing those millions of lesser ones.


    Remerber, if you having a bad day, don't forget you outbeat millions of other fishies to be a human.

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    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many health problems do you have?

    Quote Originally Posted by |Sith|R|AntiWarmanCake88 View Post
    Remerber, if you having a bad day, don't forget you outbeat millions of other fishies to be a human.
    Courage wolf agrees!

    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

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    Banned ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many health problems do you have?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr View Post
    Courage wolf agrees!





    I wonder if that wolf has health problems to ?

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    Member Centurion1's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many health problems do you have?

    I'm perfect. Sheesh why am I Even Bothering to post you all know that

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    Guest Azathoth's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many health problems do you have?

    I am terribly unhealthy. I will die soon.

    I am winded by climbing a flight of stairs.
    My teeth are full of holes and cracks and I can barely muster the strength to bite through nail keratin.
    I have moderate acid reflux.
    I may have irritable bowel syndrome and hemmorhoids.
    I have moderate lactose intolerance.
    I have tree pollen allergies.
    I suffer from sporadic episodes of back pain.
    I get occasional pains in my shoulders and around my heart.
    I'm always tired and mildly depressed; I get sleepy after 12 hours of wakefulness; my metabolic rate has dropped like a stone and I have gained 5 kg since the beginning of the year.
    I have poor reflexes and depth perception.
    I have a poor memory.
    I am insane.

  6. #6
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many health problems do you have?

    Quote Originally Posted by Azathoth View Post
    I am terribly unhealthy. I will die soon.
    Your post bears an uncanny resemblance to the first few pages of Three Men in a Boat, to Say Nothing of the Dog. This is the bit I mean:

    It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form. The diagnosis seems in every case to correspond exactly with all the sensations that I have ever felt.

    I remember going to the British Museum one day to read up the treatment for some slight ailment of which I had a touch—hay fever, I fancy it was. I got down the book, and read all I came to read; and then, in an unthinking moment, I idly turned the leaves, and began to indolently study diseases, generally. I forget which was the first distemper I plunged into—some fearful, devastating scourge, I know—and, before I had glanced half down the list of "premonitory symptoms," it was borne in upon me that I had fairly got it.

    I sat for awhile, frozen with horror; and then, in the listlessness of despair, I again turned over the pages. I came to typhoid fever—read the symptoms—discovered that I had typhoid fever, must have had it for months without knowing it—wondered what else I had got; turned up St. Vitus's Dance—found, as I expected, that I had that too,—began to get interested in my case, and determined to sift it to the bottom, and so started alphabetically—read up ague, and learnt that I was sickening for it, and that the acute stage would commence in about another fortnight. Bright's disease, I was relieved to find, I had only in a modified form, and, so far as that was concerned, I might live for years. Cholera I had, with severe complications; and diphtheria I seemed to have been born with. I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.

    I felt rather hurt about this at first; it seemed somehow to be a sort of slight. Why hadn't I got housemaid's knee? Why this invidious reservation? After a while, however, less grasping feelings prevailed. I reflected that I had every other known malady in the pharmacology, and I grew less selfish, and determined to do without housemaid's knee. Gout, in its most malignant stage, it would appear, had seized me without my being aware of it; and zymosis I had evidently been suffering with from boyhood. There were no more diseases after zymosis, so I concluded there was nothing else the matter with me.

    I sat and pondered. I thought what an interesting case I must be from a medical point of view, what an acquisition I should be to a class! Students would have no need to "walk the hospitals," if they had me. I was a hospital in myself. All they need do would be to walk round me, and, after that, take their diploma.
    Last edited by Lemur; 05-25-2010 at 23:23.

  7. #7
    Pleasing the Fates Senior Member A Nerd's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many health problems do you have?

    An apple a day keeps the doctor away. That or a vacation from reality. Judging from all your health problems, being insane seems kind of a blessing.
    Silence is beautiful

  8. #8
    Stranger in a strange land Moderator Hooahguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many health problems do you have?

    i am, as Azathoth, moderately lactose intolerant, and i get allergies.
    i am overweight, but its kinda hard to tell.
    other than that im fine!
    On the Path to the Streets of Gold: a Suebi AAR
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    Hvil i fred HoreTore

  9. #9
    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many health problems do you have?

    On Azathoth's point about sleeping, I find I never feel sleepy at all when I'm up early, but if I lie in then I'm only semi-conscious all day. Maybe sleeping less would actually help?
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

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