pevergreen: pew pew pew! pew pew pew! Take that, stupids! I am pever, the green! With no uppercase P, you fools! pew pew pew!
The rocks said nothing.
pevergreen:
*muttering* Falanges.... Falanges.... I wanna see.... your falanges!
The rocks enjoyed a moment of quiet repose.
pevergreen: Or is it.... Phalanges.....
The rocks contemplated their existence.
pevergreen: No..... No...... that's not true..... that's IMPOSSIBLE!!!
The rocks did not tell pevergreen to search his feelings, he knew it to be true.
pevergreen: Falanges does
not start with a
P! Uppercase P make.... me..... mad!!! pew pew pew!!!!
The rocks became depressed, and exploded.
pevergreen: Take that, uppercase P! What's that? What's that, sweetness? You say you want to kill more uppercase P? Whatever you say, my love..... we wants to kill the P, don't we? That would be good for us..... and then, all that will be left are the lowercase p.
The space dust drifted away.
pevergreen: But..... if all the uppercase P are gone.......
The space dust swirled towards the black hole.
pevergreen: Then...... then...... lowercase p will become the NEW uppercase! I CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN!!!!
The space dust experienced spaghettification.
pevergreen: Buzz Lightyear to Star Command! Come in, Star Command! I was on my way to the gamma quadrant of sector 4 when I encountered hostiles, obviously working for the evil emperor Zurg! They took the shape of the dreaded uppercase P. I blasted them to smithereenies, but now..... now....
The space dust appeared redder.... and dimmer.... and slower.
pevergreen: Now I realize the error of my ways. The uppercase P are our friends too.... without them..... there is no lowercase p.
The space dust were transported to the end of time and space.
pevergreen: I've made my decision! This is it! I'm going in the warp zone to save them! To..... save them all! I'm coming for you, uppercase P! I won't let you die, not when we've been through SO MUCH together! Fire all thrusters.... WOOOOOSHHHH!!!! Ready the tractor beam!
The red fire truck on pevergreen's dashboard slid around.
pevergreen: Hello mister fire truck! We're going to save your friends! Wooo wooo woooo honk honk clang clang clang clang!!!!!
The red fire truck looked at pevergreen and nodded.
pevergreen: Here I come, uppercase P! You won't die, as long as Captain Proton and Buster Kincaid are on the job! Take that, Doctor Chaotica! pew pew pew!
pevergreen's Cornerian fighter spiraled into the Black Hole.
pevergreen: If I don't come back, tell my toaster.... that I love her very much.
pevergreen's Cornerian fighter approached the event horizon.
pevergreen:
Hello boys!!! I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!
pevergreen hit the eject button, and crashed through his cockpit window with a big ****-eating grin on his face. He died instantly, but due to the strange gravitational effects, time seemed to stand still.... and that final moment seemed like an eternity. pevergreen lived forever in that moment, moving towards the light.... and he was able to rescue the uppercase P. The end.
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