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  1. #1
    The Idle Inquisitor Member rebelscum's Avatar
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    Default City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    My pet hate at the moment is the city gate system.
    Wether I march units through in an orderly fashion, or rush skirmishers through, something in the design turns even crack units into a mob of screaming idiots. Chariots seem to be the worst offenders (General screaming: 'Are you in or are you out, make your damn mind up'). What is it about the fact that one unit seems to bog down on the gate, other more mobile units decide to push through worstening the chaos. Then there are those few guys who decide that the gate is not the best way to get into the city and scrabble at the walls like demented rabbits trying to tunnel through (Skirmisher one: I have a phobia about gates. Skirmisher 2: Wow, me too.).
    My stategy with small towns is a simple one. Move up the ram to batter the gates while archers turn the defenders into mush. Once the defenders have moved away/archers ammo is depleted, send skirmishers in to lead the defenders in a merry dance of death. The proud spearmen march confidently through the gate in normal formation, then reform phalanx and push down the street backed by any remaining missile troops. You would think that simple enough that even a commander with the 'couldn't command his way out of a paper bag' trait would be able to accomplish.
    But no.
    Some of the remaining defenders decide to rout through the skirmishers on their way back to the square, ignoring the fact that if they went the other way round, they probably wouldn't die (well not just yet anyways). The skirmishers try to rush back out of the gates (skirmishing as they do) whilst the spearmen are entering (Spearmen: *bump*, excuse me!, do you mind!, sorry!, excuse me!, hey stop shoving at the back!, whats the hold up!, would you mind awfully taking that spear out of my groin).
    The archers you had remaining in reserve decide that the single remaining gate defender is a good target for a volley of arrows, (General to archer captain: I just thought I'd given you the order to ceasefire, maybe it just took you a whole minute for the message to travel from your ears to your butt, where your brain is located). The defenders suddenly have a change of heart (erm, I thought you said these guys were good, lets get them, cheeaaargeee ). Half the spearmen have their backs turned with question marks above their heads ( he said turn right at the gate, no I'm sure he said left, I thought it was forward two blocks .. then rest, is that the enemy general charging with 200 cavalry, oh sheee). The General is frantically trying to stop the archers releasing another volley of arrows into the mass of spearmen as the cavalry hit ( Tell them ceasefire means stop firing! ... what do you mean they don't speak Egyptian?) .
    The Elephants decide that this is a good time to run amok and begin to play football with the onager crew (Half time score: Elephants 10, onagers 0). The scythe chariots get fed up waiting to get through and pass the time drag racing through your columns of crack infantry.
    The General weeps into his helmet.
    (this was a compilation of events brought to you by RTW - The return of the pants)
    Last edited by rebelscum; 09-20-2005 at 13:41.
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  2. #2
    Wandering Historian Member eadingas's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    I only use gate attack as decoy attack. Always try to break the walls to the left and right of the gate - with rams on palisades or with saps/siege engines on walls - and then attack through the gaps with elite troops, while sending all the cannon fodder at the gate where it binds the defenders. Then it's just a matter of sandwiching the enemy from both sides.
    I noticed Elephants often run amok right after entering through the gate. Wonder what's the deal with that.
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    The Idle Inquisitor Member rebelscum's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Maybe elephants don't like boiling oil on their backs. I know I don't. Or it could be an elephant form of claustrophobia.
    Your multi-entrance approach sounds good. I notice the AI waits several turns and builds multiple rams. I just haven't got the patience sometimes, especially when the enemy has a large stack approaching from the north. I would rather be in the city drinking tea when they get here, rather than face a bunch of starving defenders, pissed off from a year of sitting in a rat infested town 'and' an army of crack troops.
    Another thing, in MTW you could surround a city, with RTW you can only place on 3 sides. This gives any re-enforcing troops a great avenue to stroll in through the back door if you aren't quick enough.
    On a similar note, I assume sieging a city causes devastation and squalor within (it does when I am seig-ed). Is this enough to make the city rebel?, and if so would the defenders suddenly be popped out into the open arms of my army.
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    Wandering Historian Member eadingas's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    As for elephants: I noticed them getting wild even if there are no defenders on the walls anymore. Even if the gate tower is ruined by onager fire. It wouldn't be weird otherwise. And the amok doesn't last very long... just enough to ruin your chances of getting into the city in an orderly fashion :)
    The spy sitting in a city is supposed to open the gates for you if you're lucky... but somehow, it never happened to me, even if I had 50% chance of it happen. I don't even know how it looks like when he does that...
    One thing I found very annoying about sieging: if you auto-resolve the siege, the buildings inside get randomly damaged. Even if you're not carrying any siege weapons, and even if it's farms and roads that get damaged. That is a damn bug if I've ever seen one!
    I'm still not here

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    Clan Takiyama Senior Member R'as al Ghul's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Quote Originally Posted by eadingas
    The spy sitting in a city is supposed to open the gates for you if you're lucky... but somehow, it never happened to me, even if I had 50% chance of it happen. I don't even know how it looks like when he does that...
    It even happens when it's only a 35 or 40 % chance. It may not work on the first turn, though. Visually it's indicated by an open gate (middle right), displayed on the pre-battle screen where you decide which siege-gear you're building. Sometimes the gates only get opened on the second turn, i.e. you have already build rams etc. and decide to attack, only to discover that now the gates are open. On the battle-map you'll see that all four gates are cracked and you can march right in. The huge advantage is that the AI will try to defend all 4 gates.
    @rebelscum,
    I had a lot of fun reading your post. I've been there. Others already mentioned it, you need to build more than one ram. For wooden walls I ususally build 3 rams. One for the gate, the other two on the right and left side of the gate. For larger walls I like sap points, towers and ladders. Rams are cheap and if you bring enough troops (10+ units), they should be able to build 3 in 1 turn.

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    The Idle Inquisitor Member rebelscum's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    *Reads from The Zen guide to RTW Generalship*
    Elephants also continue to run amok if they have run amok during a previous battle and you haven't had the heart to put them down with your generals special ability, kill elephants running amok (soon to be included generals special ability: kill that bloody bloke on the scythe chariot who decimates my armies for no apparent reason). So correct deployment of amok elephants must be considered before the battle. Next to crack infantry is a no-no, behind you is definitely out , behind enemy lines would be good but sadly not an option, loading them into onagers and flinging them over the walls at the enemy would be ace (*legionary shades eyes to the sun* Hey Spurius, is it my imagination or does that large dark blob flying towards us look curiously like an amok elephant? *mad elephant trumpets in the air*, by the breasts of Juno your right Lentulus, it does look curiously like an amok eleph .. *splat*).
    Elephants are expensive, if you cannot train them and were awarded them/merced them they are priceless), so having to 'put them down' is a bit harsh, a severe telling off and a cut in peanut rations would suffice.
    Last edited by rebelscum; 09-20-2005 at 13:46.
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    Wandering Historian Member eadingas's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Hmmm I'm beginning to think a Monty Python Mod would be a good idea... with siege towers in the shape of giant rabbit, and onager missiles looking remarkably like cows...
    I'm still not here

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    Alienated Senior Member Member Red Harvest's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Quote Originally Posted by rebelscum
    Elephants also continue to run amok if they have run amok during a previous battle and you haven't had the heart to put them down with the generals special ability, kill elephants running amok (soon to be included generals special ability: kill that bloody guy on the sythe chariot who decimates your armies for no apparent reason). So correct deployment of amock elephants must be considered before the battle. Next to crack infantry is a no-no, behind your general is definately out :(, behind enemy lines would be good but sadly not an option, loading them into onagers and flinging them over the walls at the enemy would be ace (Hey Spurius, is it my imagination or does that large shape flying towards us look curiously like an amok elephant, *mad elephant trumpets in the air*, by the breasts of juno your right Lentulus, it does look curiously like an amok eleph .. *splat*). Elephants are expensive (if you can't build them and were awarded them/merced them they are priceless), so having to 'put them down' is a bit harsh, a severe telling off and a cut in peanut rations would suffice.
    Man, that was funny. I'm in tears. I particularly like the "by the breasts of Juno" reference.
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    Member Member Celt Centurion's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    The spy sitting in a city is supposed to open the gates for you if you're lucky... but somehow, it never happened to me, even if I had 50% chance of it happen. I don't even know how it looks like when he does that...

    If the spy does not get thrown out on his butt, (mine usually does), just as you begin an assault, and you have the screen to "fight on battle map", or "autoresolve", there will be a picture on the right side of that panel of a stone wall with an open gate, and text telling you that the gates will be open.

    Usually, I prefer to put lots of siege towers, at least 6, more if I think to make more during a siege, and put men directly over the gate, even if it is open, which will keep boiling oil out of your collar. Last night, I did it differently, and just charged through the gate, expecting losses, but fortunately for me that time, no boiling oil came down.

    Anyway, just look for the "open gate" picture just before you choose how to resolve the battle.

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    The Idle Inquisitor Member rebelscum's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Quote Originally Posted by Celt Centurion
    The spy sitting in a city is supposed to open the gates for you if you're lucky... but somehow, it never happened to me, even if I had 50% chance of it happen. I don't even know how it looks like when he does that...

    If the spy does not get thrown out on his butt, (mine usually does), just as you begin an assault, and you have the screen to "fight on battle map", or "autoresolve", there will be a picture on the right side of that panel of a stone wall with an open gate, and text telling you that the gates will be open.

    Celt Centurion
    General's Speech: Ok men, when we get to the city, my spy network should have the gate open making it a cakewalk for us to rush in and take the walls and the main courtyard. An easy victory awaits!
    Army: Rowdy cheers.

    *an hour later*
    General: *proud* My men are almost at the walls, the gate should be opening just about .. now ... *nothing happens*
    about ... 'now' ... *still nothing happens*
    .... NOW *nada*

    *tap tap on Generals shoulder*
    General: Whaaaa,
    Spy: Sssarry bhasss, I ssshouldn't creep up on you like that.
    General: *aghast* Why aren't you in the city opening the gates ...
    Spy: Sssarry bhasss, I fell asssleep, and when I woke up I was out on my asssss.
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    Cellular Microbiologist Member SpencerH's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Quote Originally Posted by rebelscum
    My pet hate at the moment is the city gate system.
    ....... The General weeps into his helmet.
    (this was a compilation of events brought to you by RTW - The return of the pants)
    Very funny :LOL: The only problem is that its all too true. I never assault gates, I always knock down the walls with onagers or sap them.
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    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Post Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Posted by eadingas:
    Hmmm I'm beginning to think a Monty Python Mod would be a good idea... with siege towers in the shape of giant rabbit, and onager missiles looking remarkably like cows...
    Don't forget to replace the background music/opening speech with insults in an outrageous French accent!

    Definitely open multiple holes, not too far apart so that you can support both going through the walls. The AI will move units as you enter, sometimes not exactly in a tactically sound manner, but you don't want to have one "beachhead" overrun/crushed. Whichever one the AI goes after, use the other hole to come in behind them.

    I think if you set the unit formation to be long/thin, they get through the breaches easier, as long as you stagger the units so they don't show up all at the same time. If they all go at once (especially with horses and other pushy types) it gets pretty messy. Anybody know for sure the best entry formation?
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    Lesbian Rebel Member Mikeus Caesar's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Hmmm I'm beginning to think a Monty Python Mod would be a good idea... with siege towers in the shape of giant rabbit, and onager missiles looking remarkably like cows...
    Hehe......give some generals the special ability of making one of their gods feet squash the enemy.....or get the special highland kamikaze squad to attack them.
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    The Idle Inquisitor Member rebelscum's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    The Life of Brian would be more appropriate.
    http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cave...0/lifebrin.txt

    My fave bit.

    [trumpets]
    PONTIUS PILATE: ...Make one large living awea. Ahh.
    CENTURION: Hail Caesar.
    PILATE: Hail.
    CENTURION: Only one survivor, sir.
    PILATE: Ah. Thwow him to the floor.
    CENTURION: What, sir?
    PILATE: Thwow him to the floor.
    CENTURION: Ah.
    [whump]
    BRIAN: Aagh!
    PILATE: Hmm. Now, what is your name, Jew?
    BRIAN: 'Brian', sir.
    PILATE: 'Bwian', eh?
    BRIAN: No, no. 'Brian'.
    [slap]
    Aah!
    PILATE: Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit.
    CENTURION: Has what, sir?
    PILATE: Spiwit.
    CENTURION: Yes. He did, sir.
    PILATE: No, no. Spiwit, siw. Um, bwavado. A touch of dewwing-do.
    CENTURION: Oh. Ahh, about eleven, sir.
    PILATE: So, you dare to waid us.
    BRIAN: To what, sir?
    PILATE: Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!
    [slap]
    BRIAN: Aaah!
    CENTURION: Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?
    PILATE: What?
    CENTURION: Thwow him to the floor again, sir?
    PILATE: Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please.
    BRIAN: Aah!
    [whump]
    PILATE: Now, Jewish wapscallion.
    BRIAN: I'm not Jewish. I'm a Roman.
    PILATE: A Woman?
    BRIAN: No, no. Roman.
    [slap]
    Aah!
    PILATE: So, your father was a Woman. Who was he?
    BRIAN: He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrisons.
    PILATE: Weally? What was his name?
    BRIAN: 'Nortius Maximus'.
    CENTURION: Ahh, ha ha!
    PILATE: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?
    CENTURION: Well, no, sir.
    PILATE: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?
    CENTURION: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir,... like, uh,
    'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir.
    GUARD #4: [chuckling]
    PILATE: What's so... funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?
    CENTURION: Well, it's a joke name, sir.
    PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
    GUARD #4: [chuckling]
    PILATE: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in
    gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.
    BRIAN: Can I go now, sir?
    [slap]
    Aaah! Eh.
    PILATE: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this.
    GUARD #4: [chuckling]
    PILATE: Wight! Take him away!
    CENTURION: Oh, sir, he-- he only--
    PILATE: No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.
    CENTURION: Yes, sir. Come on, you.
    GUARD #4: Ha ha haa ha, ha ha ha. Hooo hooo hoo hoo. Hoo hoo...
    PILATE: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody
    else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...
    GUARD #1: [chuckling]
    PILATE: ...Dickus?
    GUARD #1: [chuckling]
    PILATE: What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name...
    'Biggus'...
    GUARD #3: [chuckle]
    PILATE: ...'Dickus'?
    GUARD #1 and GUARD #2: [chuckling]
    PILATE: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's
    called... 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.
    GUARDS: [laughing]
    PILATE: Stop! What is all this?
    GUARDS: Ha, ha ha ha ha ha...
    PILATE: I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence!
    Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- Seize him! Seize him!
    Blow your noses and seize him!
    I hate my signature!

  15. #15

    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Thats why they call those snake paths.

    Anytime you siege you want atleast 3 times the number of the enemy. Second you want mutiple Breaches. without them you will loose more men and the enemy can bottleneck you.

    I found it you have a mod or fix the hardy heat bugs and then played as they would back then in tactics you will do well. If you play like an RTS and just build and rush you will lose men and possible get AI path issue which will result in maybe you losing a possible overwelming win.

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  16. #16
    Uber Fowl Member TheDuck's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Quote Originally Posted by rebelscum
    The Life of Brian would be more appropriate.
    http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cave...0/lifebrin.txt

    My fave bit.

    [trumpets]
    PONTIUS PILATE: ...Make one large living awea. Ahh.
    CENTURION: Hail Caesar.
    PILATE: Hail.
    CENTURION: Only one survivor, sir.
    PILATE: Ah. Thwow him to the floor.
    CENTURION: What, sir?
    PILATE: Thwow him to the floor.
    CENTURION: Ah.
    [whump]
    BRIAN: Aagh!
    PILATE: Hmm. Now, what is your name, Jew?
    BRIAN: 'Brian', sir.
    PILATE: 'Bwian', eh?
    BRIAN: No, no. 'Brian'.
    [slap]
    Aah!
    PILATE: Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit.
    CENTURION: Has what, sir?
    PILATE: Spiwit.
    CENTURION: Yes. He did, sir.
    PILATE: No, no. Spiwit, siw. Um, bwavado. A touch of dewwing-do.
    CENTURION: Oh. Ahh, about eleven, sir.
    PILATE: So, you dare to waid us.
    BRIAN: To what, sir?
    PILATE: Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!
    [slap]
    BRIAN: Aaah!
    CENTURION: Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?
    PILATE: What?
    CENTURION: Thwow him to the floor again, sir?
    PILATE: Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please.
    BRIAN: Aah!
    [whump]
    PILATE: Now, Jewish wapscallion.
    BRIAN: I'm not Jewish. I'm a Roman.
    PILATE: A Woman?
    BRIAN: No, no. Roman.
    [slap]
    Aah!
    PILATE: So, your father was a Woman. Who was he?
    BRIAN: He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrisons.
    PILATE: Weally? What was his name?
    BRIAN: 'Nortius Maximus'.
    CENTURION: Ahh, ha ha!
    PILATE: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?
    CENTURION: Well, no, sir.
    PILATE: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?
    CENTURION: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir,... like, uh,
    'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir.
    GUARD #4: [chuckling]
    PILATE: What's so... funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?
    CENTURION: Well, it's a joke name, sir.
    PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
    GUARD #4: [chuckling]
    PILATE: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in
    gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.
    BRIAN: Can I go now, sir?
    [slap]
    Aaah! Eh.
    PILATE: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this.
    GUARD #4: [chuckling]
    PILATE: Wight! Take him away!
    CENTURION: Oh, sir, he-- he only--
    PILATE: No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.
    CENTURION: Yes, sir. Come on, you.
    GUARD #4: Ha ha haa ha, ha ha ha. Hooo hooo hoo hoo. Hoo hoo...
    PILATE: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody
    else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...
    GUARD #1: [chuckling]
    PILATE: ...Dickus?
    GUARD #1: [chuckling]
    PILATE: What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name...
    'Biggus'...
    GUARD #3: [chuckle]
    PILATE: ...'Dickus'?
    GUARD #1 and GUARD #2: [chuckling]
    PILATE: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's
    called... 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.
    GUARDS: [laughing]
    PILATE: Stop! What is all this?
    GUARDS: Ha, ha ha ha ha ha...
    PILATE: I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence!
    Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- Seize him! Seize him!
    Blow your noses and seize him!
    You, sir, have a great sense of humor. Some of the most hilarious stuff I've read on any forum, at any time.

    And yes, the Life of Brian is just classic stuff. My personal preference is the whole 'What have the Romans ever done for us?' sequence. Riotous.
    The Duck

    Although plans don't survive contact with the enemy,
    they help focus the mind!

    Plan. Improvise as needed.

  17. #17
    Member Member Celt Centurion's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Quote Originally Posted by rebelscum
    The Life of Brian would be more appropriate.
    http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cave...0/lifebrin.txt

    My fave bit.

    [trumpets]
    PONTIUS PILATE: ...Make one large living awea. Ahh.
    CENTURION: Hail Caesar.
    PILATE: Hail.
    CENTURION: Only one survivor, sir.
    PILATE: Ah. Thwow him to the floor.
    CENTURION: What, sir?
    PILATE: Thwow him to the floor.
    CENTURION: Ah.
    [whump]
    BRIAN: Aagh!
    PILATE: Hmm. Now, what is your name, Jew?
    BRIAN: 'Brian', sir.
    PILATE: 'Bwian', eh?
    BRIAN: No, no. 'Brian'.
    [slap]
    Aah!
    PILATE: Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit.
    CENTURION: Has what, sir?
    PILATE: Spiwit.
    CENTURION: Yes. He did, sir.
    PILATE: No, no. Spiwit, siw. Um, bwavado. A touch of dewwing-do.
    CENTURION: Oh. Ahh, about eleven, sir.
    PILATE: So, you dare to waid us.
    BRIAN: To what, sir?
    PILATE: Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!
    [slap]
    BRIAN: Aaah!
    CENTURION: Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?
    PILATE: What?
    CENTURION: Thwow him to the floor again, sir?
    PILATE: Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please.
    BRIAN: Aah!
    [whump]
    PILATE: Now, Jewish wapscallion.
    BRIAN: I'm not Jewish. I'm a Roman.
    PILATE: A Woman?
    BRIAN: No, no. Roman.
    [slap]
    Aah!
    PILATE: So, your father was a Woman. Who was he?
    BRIAN: He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrisons.
    PILATE: Weally? What was his name?
    BRIAN: 'Nortius Maximus'.
    CENTURION: Ahh, ha ha!
    PILATE: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?
    CENTURION: Well, no, sir.
    PILATE: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?
    CENTURION: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir,... like, uh,
    'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir.
    GUARD #4: [chuckling]
    PILATE: What's so... funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?
    CENTURION: Well, it's a joke name, sir.
    PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
    GUARD #4: [chuckling]
    PILATE: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in
    gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.
    BRIAN: Can I go now, sir?
    [slap]
    Aaah! Eh.
    PILATE: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this.
    GUARD #4: [chuckling]
    PILATE: Wight! Take him away!
    CENTURION: Oh, sir, he-- he only--
    PILATE: No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.
    CENTURION: Yes, sir. Come on, you.
    GUARD #4: Ha ha haa ha, ha ha ha. Hooo hooo hoo hoo. Hoo hoo...
    PILATE: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody
    else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...
    GUARD #1: [chuckling]
    PILATE: ...Dickus?
    GUARD #1: [chuckling]
    PILATE: What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name...
    'Biggus'...
    GUARD #3: [chuckle]
    PILATE: ...'Dickus'?
    GUARD #1 and GUARD #2: [chuckling]
    PILATE: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's
    called... 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.
    GUARDS: [laughing]
    PILATE: Stop! What is all this?
    GUARDS: Ha, ha ha ha ha ha...
    PILATE: I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence!
    Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- Seize him! Seize him!
    Blow your noses and seize him!


    This is TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Funny!!!

    I am still laughing my head off!

    Celt Centurion

  18. #18
    Wandering Historian Member eadingas's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikeus Caesar
    Hehe......give some generals the special ability of making one of their gods feet squash the enemy.....or get the special highland kamikaze squad to attack them.
    Could we have the slingers commander have a shout: 'Nobody gets to stone anyone until I blow this whistle!' ?
    I'm still not here

  19. #19
    The Idle Inquisitor Member rebelscum's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Maybe that would stop slingers standing in front of the closed gates trying to throw stones through it at the guys on the other side. (*pock pock pock* ,reload, *pock pock pock*. Keep it up lads, another million throws and we'll have these gates down)
    Last edited by rebelscum; 09-20-2005 at 13:53.
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  20. #20
    Senior Member Senior Member Vanya's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Quote Originally Posted by drone
    ...Definitely open multiple holes...
    GAH!

    Vanya sez... Penetrating multiple holes is what the game is all about! Three per edifice/object has a nice, practical ring to it... One from the front, one from the rear and finish it off up high!



    GAH!
    [Sips sake, eats popcorn]

  21. #21
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Post Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    I have been quoted by Vanya, not really sure I can top this honor!
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  22. #22
    Lesbian Rebel Member Mikeus Caesar's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    This thread has gone funny. Almost like the roman roads thread, which believe it or not did start off serious. Last time i checked, we were discussing the issue of whether or not the romans should have destroyed all life on earth through lead poisoning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranika
    I'm being assailed by a mental midget of ironically epic proportions. Quick as frozen molasses, this one. Sharp as a melted marble. It's disturbing. I've had conversations with a braying mule with more coherence.


  23. #23
    Guardian of the Fleet Senior Member Shahed's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    ROFLMFAO !
    I just woke the whole neighbourhood... this thread is CRACKING ME UP !
    Last edited by Shahed; 12-26-2004 at 01:21.
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  24. #24
    Member Member Ar7's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    You said it, I liked the part about three guards at the gates the most

  25. #25
    Member Member Didz's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    A wise man never enters a city through its gate, even if it is conveniently open.

    Tzu Sun (well he would have said it, if he had played RTW)
    Didz
    Fortis balore et armis

  26. #26

    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    When deploying at a gate-breaking party, I go in stages. Everything has to be lined up to be deployed properly, though.

    -Battering rams (always 3) lined up along one or two sides to best avoid any tower fire. Sometimes you can completly avoid it.

    -Behind the battering rams I click and drag my troops to lay out a formation only four rows across (4wide). This allows them to fit through the hole without breaking formation. Velities and Light Aux come first (to break up any defenders), then Aux (to break the inevitable horse charge), then hastati/Early Legion followed by any Legionary Cohorts in the rear.

    -The hole furthest from the actual gate is for Aux/Archers/Horses only (again, 4wide). If there are no defenders, the horses go through first to attack the defenders at the other holes from the sides.

    -When moving the 4wide formations, once they are at the gate (not through it), click and drag your final formation in the enemy encampment. No one will get hung up if you time it right.

  27. #27
    Bringing down the vulgaroisie Member King Henry V's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    I hereby propose the motion that rebelscum be declared the Org's official resident comedian!
    Last edited by King Henry V; 09-03-2005 at 20:00.
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  28. #28
    The Idle Inquisitor Member rebelscum's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Quote Originally Posted by King Henry V
    I hereby propose the motion that rebelscum be declared the Org's official resident comedian!
    I am already Emperor Umeu's court jester
    I hate my signature!

  29. #29
    One of the Undutchables Member The Stranger's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Quote Originally Posted by rebelscum
    I am already Emperor Umeu's court jester
    you are...YEAH he is, and i'm not sharing him unless look here's the you guys better be all cuz if you're no that would be very and i would have to you

    We do not sow.

  30. #30
    Member Member Celt Centurion's Avatar
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    Default Re: City gates - a right royal pain in the bum

    Greetings Folks,

    The diagram on the screen does not quite match the one I created on the screen.

    The main thing I was trying to get across which didn't seem to go on right is this.

    Put I-1 right at the gate. Then leave the space that one unit would occupy, and put I-2 there. Same with all the others. It may be parallel to the wall. It may wrap around a street corner and toward the town square. What's important is they are arranged in order of their position to the gate, and can all be marching without tripping over one another.

    Strength and Honor

    Celt Centurion

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