Asking a girl out via email: legit or not

Man I never thought I'd be making one of these kinds of threads. :help:

So I want to ask this girl out to lunch as a first date, but I don't have her cell phone number. She's an intern at the place where I'm the web admin, and so I'm very rarely actually on site (and I don't have an excuse to go visit). When I have been there I think we hit it off but I'm a big dumb idiot so I didn't ask her out then and there. I do have her work email address, but I really don't know how appropriate/inappropriate it would be to ask her to lunch through that. It seems really impersonal and weird but I can't think of another solution besides like asking her (and my) boss for her cell phone number, which seems equally questionable. Any advice?

Ask her for her phone number via email. Then ask her out.

Otherwise, be frank, and just tell her that you would prefer to ask her out in person, but you're never on site, and ask her not to judge you.

What SwordsMaster said. Ask her number and then ask her out.

E-mailing her is kind of freaky, mane. If I were you, I'd just grab any excuse possible to go back and see her.

If you are twelve and shy go for it. Otherwise, a big fat

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

NO

I'll second (third?) the get the phone number first idea.

Also, don't mention talk about going on dates on company email if you can avoid it.

That sort of stuff is best kept from the bosses and people at a company who might take it upon themselves to intrude if they feel you are doing something even mildly inappropriate.

CR

Asking for her number via email is freaky too.

Just go and ask her.

Go ask her

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Originally Posted by Alexander the Pretty Good

Man I never thought I'd be making one of these kinds of threads. :help:

So I want to ask this girl out to lunch as a first date, but I don't have her cell phone number. She's an intern at the place where I'm the web admin, and so I'm very rarely actually on site (and I don't have an excuse to go visit). When I have been there I think we hit it off but I'm a big dumb idiot so I didn't ask her out then and there. I do have her work email address, but I really don't know how appropriate/inappropriate it would be to ask her to lunch through that. It seems really impersonal and weird ...

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If it feels impersonal and weird then it almost always is. Find an excuse to get on site and strike up some conversation.

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but I can't think of another solution besides like asking her (and my) boss for her cell phone number, which seems equally questionable. Any advice?

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Yeah, don't do what you just suggested. If you want her number step up to the plate and try your luck, but don't tip-toe around behind her back trying to get it through really awkward methods.

Personally, I don't see a problem in asking someone via E-Mail.

But then again, girls are so easy to scare and intimidate, I would listen to what they say to you.

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Originally Posted by Alexander the Pretty Good

Man I never thought I'd be making one of these kinds of threads. :help:

So I want to ask this girl out to lunch as a first date, but I don't have her cell phone number. She's an intern at the place where I'm the web admin, and so I'm very rarely actually on site (and I don't have an excuse to go visit). When I have been there I think we hit it off but I'm a big dumb idiot so I didn't ask her out then and there. I do have her work email address, but I really don't know how appropriate/inappropriate it would be to ask her to lunch through that. It seems really impersonal and weird but I can't think of another solution besides like asking her (and my) boss for her cell phone number, which seems equally questionable. Any advice?

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don't be a coward. period. I say this because, even if she says no, at least she can't fault you for being one; one person (well, the only person), while she said no, did at least give me credit for not being a chicken. :clown:

as everyone else says, ask her her number, not for a date. then ask her in person.

Dont ask her out via email or AIM or facebook. Shows that you dont really care enough to sum up the courage to ask her face to face. Just my two cents.

It depends on the girl. Some don't see anything wrong with being asked out via electronic means, some will hate you for it.

The safest bet is to do it face to face.

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Originally Posted by Alexander the Pretty Good

Man I never thought I'd be making one of these kinds of threads. :help:

So I want to ask this girl out to lunch as a first date, but I don't have her cell phone number. She's an intern at the place where I'm the web admin, and so I'm very rarely actually on site (and I don't have an excuse to go visit). When I have been there I think we hit it off but I'm a big dumb idiot so I didn't ask her out then and there. I do have her work email address, but I really don't know how appropriate/inappropriate it would be to ask her to lunch through that. It seems really impersonal and weird but I can't think of another solution besides like asking her (and my) boss for her cell phone number, which seems equally questionable. Any advice?

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Hehehe, sounds like you have a very good excuse for a visit to me. Go there just before the lunch hour and ask her to go out to lunch. No need to be coy/demur, that's her job. Call me old fashioned but e-mailing/texting that request minus the face-to-face eye contact/body language/smile seems so lacking in the human animal element. Fine for making an appointment to fix the car, but not as a way to first connect with new people.

Visit her.

You: "Hi <insert her name here>. I'm here to take care of your computer problem."
Her: "Oh? What is the problem?"
You: "Well, your computer is a totally inappropriate means of asking you out for lunch, so I thought I'd come over and see to it personally. So, would you like to go out and grab a bit to eat sometime?"
Her: "That is so sweet. I want you now!"

:shrug:

I just don't see any reason to get some excuse to get to talk to her. Just go to her when you think she takes her lunch break or when her shift is over and just say that you think you hit it off earlier and you want to get to know her better. The sooner you do it the better.
The direct approach is the best.

You may just consider following her home to find out where she lives. Then, when she leaves again, go into her house and use her phone to call yourself so you have the number on caller ID. Then you can call her later and say you were just "calling her back." It is best to call her back while hiding in a tree near a window of her house.

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Originally Posted by Major Robert Dump

You may just consider following her home to find out where she lives. Then, when she leaves again, go into her house and use her phone to call yourself so you have the number on caller ID. Then you can call her later and say you were just "calling her back." It is best to call her back while hiding in a tree near a window of her house.

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Don't forget to do this while she is changing and make it clear you can see her with your binoculars.

No. Do not. Never. Never ever.

Pluck up the courage to ask her in person, your chances of success will dramatically increase from 0.01% to whatever it would be normally.

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Originally Posted by Major Robert Dump

You may just consider following her home to find out where she lives. Then, when she leaves again, go into her house and use her phone to call yourself so you have the number on caller ID. Then you can call her later and say you were just "calling her back." It is best to call her back while hiding in a tree near a window of her house.

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:laugh4:
Best advice so far.

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Originally Posted by Gregoshi

Visit her.

You: "Hi <insert her name here>. I'm here to take care of your computer problem."
Her: "Oh? What is the problem?"
You: "Well, your computer is a totally inappropriate means of asking you out for lunch, so I thought I'd come over and see to it personally. So, would you like to go out and grab a bit to eat sometime?"
Her: "That is so sweet. I want you now!"

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Bow-chick-a-bow-wow!

Send her a virus in the email, her computer stops working, you wait till she gets desperate because she can't work, you fix it and will be her hero, then you ask her out.

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Originally Posted by Skullheadhq

Send her a virus in the email, her computer stops working, you wait till she gets desperate because she can't work, you fix it and will be her hero, then you ask her out.

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Lolwut?

and if she finds out the truth? she'd give him the Montana territory treatment. which is to say: she'll corner him in a shed, shoot at it, and if that fails, used a cannon on the shed (blowing the house up), then emptyig her pistol into what's left of him, hang him to a tree, shoot at him some more, then burn his body, and let prostitutes fall on the ashes to collect any gold he had when alive.* :jester:

*all this is based on a known incident in Montana, 1864-hence the name.

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Originally Posted by Ibrahim

Lolwut?

and if she finds out the truth? she'd give him the Montana territory treatment. which is to say: she'll corner him in a shed, shoot at it, and if that fails, used a cannon on the shed (blowing the house up), then emptyig her pistol into what's left of him, hang him to a tree, shoot at him some more, then burn his body, and let prostitutes fall on the ashes to collect any gold he had when alive.* :jester:

*all this is based on a known incident in Montana, 1864-hence the name.

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proxy+fake mail, what could go wrong?

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Originally Posted by Skullheadhq

proxy+fake mail, what could go wrong?

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That's a conversation with the sysadmin I wouldn't want to have.

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Originally Posted by Monk

That's a conversation with the sysadmin I wouldn't want to have.

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He is the admin.

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Originally Posted by Skullheadhq

He is the admin.

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O tempora! O mores!

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Originally Posted by Skullheadhq

proxy+fake mail, what could go wrong?

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she stumbles on a person the fellow talked to about this. for her not to find out for certain, he'd have to fly to Leiden, Kill ye, then fly to the US and bump me, two admins, and MM off (and, well, anyone who read this). :clown:

call me paranoid, but a similar situation happened to me (no, I didn't kill anyone; I was the one finding stuff out about people and me). XD

I just hope we hear the rest of the story. I like a good love story.

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Originally Posted by Hosakawa Tito

I just hope we hear the rest of the story. I like a good cruddy love story.

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well, I may be an ****, but I'm not a murderer. I let them know what I thought, namely I either don't care, or don't think much of them (not after the methods they used). though I didn't say it that way.

but yeah, what the ladies usually did was write myspace messages (anonymously), or say stuff to my friends, hoping they'd somehow get the idea across to me. they'd often also try to get friends to set me up somehow (not unlike the virus thing mentioned here).

One person even gave me suggestive..looks, though nothing decisive. naturally, of course I figured out what was going on. And because these people didn't have the ability to just say their peace, I wouldn't be impressed. I prefer people be blunt with me, though not rude.

but I'm not going to tell you the whole story, as I don't want to embarrass them that much.

hey, welcome to the girl thread club Alexander!!!


anyway, even i wouldn't ask a girl out in an email.



see, what you gotta do is have your friends kidnap her, rough her around, and then dump her in an alley in a part of town you would go to, but usually don't. like the doctors office/dentist. then you drive by , get out of your car in clear sight of her, and when she asks why you're here, say you were coming to meet a friend. then you offer her a ride home, but you have roofies in your water bottle. give her this water. after shes knocked out, you gotta tie her up in your closet, leave her a 12-course meal and a microwave, and lock the closet from the outside. come home, tell her she just got punked, and she will laugh so hard, she can't resist going out with you!!!

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tell her she just got punked

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She's much more likely to think she just got raped or somethin, but ok, pretty sweet plan.

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Originally Posted by Prussian Iron

hey, welcome to the girl thread club Alexander!!!


anyway, even i wouldn't ask a girl out in an email.



see, what you gotta do is have your friends kidnap her, rough her around, and then dump her in an alley in a part of town you would go to, but usually don't. like the doctors office/dentist. then you drive by , get out of your car in clear sight of her, and when she asks why you're here, say you were coming to meet a friend. then you offer her a ride home, but you have roofies in your water bottle. give her this water. after shes knocked out, you gotta tie her up in your closet, leave her a 12-course meal and a microwave, and lock the closet from the outside. come home, tell her she just got punked, and she will laugh so hard, she can't resist going out with you!!!

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It puts the lotion on the skin, else it gets the hose again.

I'm a little late to the party, but has anyone suggested adding her on Facebook? Her number may be on there, and if not, asking someone out via Facebook has become socially acceptable.

Meeting her briefly then suddenly adding her as a friend on facebook would seem just a tiny bit creepy, but if you think about, I guess it could work out. But I always use verbal communication before adding someone on facebook, like:

"heeeey, I gotta get goin', but are you on facebook?"
-answer synonymous to a "yes"-
"nice, i'll add you sometime. later!"
-answer synonymous to "goodbye"

Face to face seems to be bound in the antique notions of gender roles. Dominant and missive positions. Email would seem to be a nice deviation from said notion and allow for both to be either missive or dominant at the same time or each adhering to what feels more comfortable. Courtship devoid of gender roles. Equal positions from the start, as long as both parties participate with that oh so difficult and seemingly forgotton art or honesty. Wimps of the world unite! Let us start a new trend toward a computer driven, heart felt, mutual respect!

Let it be known, my inbox is full! :P

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Originally Posted by PanzerJaeger

I'm a little late to the party, but has anyone suggested adding her on Facebook? Her number may be on there, and if not, asking someone out via Facebook has become socially acceptable.

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The one useful suggestion in this thread.

ATPG: Any news?

Nerd: Do you mean "submissive"? Otherwise I agree. Though the one time I did it, the email thread somehow turned into a discussion of "The Patriarchy" and ended with me thinking she is a raving feminist. Bullet dodged, then.

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Nerd: Do you mean "submissive"? Otherwise I agree. Though the one time I did it, the email thread somehow turned into a discussion of "The Patriarchy" and ended with me thinking she is a raving feminist. Bullet dodged, then.

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Yes I meant submissive. One must be subtle when applying my technique. If I read your post correctly, then you did everything on par, you discovered her all important personality thru honest discourse, ie. sincerity in words. On to the next one if she was unappealing, in my eyes, you lost none of your masculinity.

Lunch is supposed to be casual so why not.

Heh, fun thread.

So I emailed her for her number then called her. Had to leave a message; she got back to me and said she was interested. Played phone tag for a while (she's pretty busy with work) but we worked out a mutually acceptable time and I'm going to see her on Friday. So there you go. :D

Part of the delay (both in working out a time and place and in replying to the thread) was I was on vacation in Canada. Terrible timing lol. So, thanks for your help guys.

Excellent!:2thumbsup:

Glad to hear it. I hope things go well on Friday! :beam:

After you got to know eachother very well. You should ask her, "if i asked you out in that email, would have you said yes?"

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"if i asked you out in that email, would have you said yes?"

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Yes. I would like to know what her answer would be.

I am glad all worked out well for you!

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Originally Posted by Alexander the Pretty Good

... I was on vacation in Canada-

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Awesome! Where?

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Originally Posted by Beskar

After you got to know eachother very well. You should ask her, "if i asked you out in that email, would have you said yes?"

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We'll see. :P

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Originally Posted by Megas Methuselah

Awesome! Where?

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All the touristy places around Niagara Falls, with my family.

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All the touristy places around Niagara Falls, with my family.

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Ohhh, so romantic! Bring raincoats, and watch out for school teachers going over the falls in a barrell! :P

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Originally Posted by Alexander the Pretty Good

All the touristy places around Niagara Falls, with my family.

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Oh. Ok.

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Originally Posted by A Nerd

Ohhh, so romantic! Bring raincoats, and watch out for school teachers going over the falls in a barrell! :P

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The Falls are beautiful (and the boat tours that bring you right up to them are pretty cool) but there are too many other tourists for me to really enjoy it. :P I think my favorite place to see was Fort George but I'm a history nerd and they had a musket firing demonstration. :P

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The Falls are beautiful (and the boat tours that bring you right up to them are pretty cool) but there are too many other tourists for me to really enjoy it. :P I think my favorite place to see was Fort George but I'm a history nerd and they had a musket firing demonstration. :P

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Sounds like it will be a fun date indeed! I think dates based on historical places are the best kind! I always wanted to take a date on a Boston Harbor Cruise and visit George's Island in the harbor. The cruise is like a history lesson of the harbor, and George's Island is an old fort/Civil War prison that is supposedly haunted! Makes for a great day!

Nah man, you misunderstand. I was on vacation, past tense. :P I think the falls would be a great place to bring a lady friend, but I think an 8 hour drive is a bit much to ask for for a first date. :P

If you ever visit the American side of the Falls check out the Cave of the Winds tour. There used to be a cave behind the waterfall that has since collapsed. However every spring they erect a wooden catwalk along the base of the Falls, that you access by an elevator through the rock face. It's a pretty impressive view as you are inches away from the water, and some of the observation decks do have water cascading on them. You'll get wet, but on a hot muggy day it feels wonderful.

As a compliment to Fort George, the Fort Niagara tour is a must see also. We went when they had a reenactment battle and it was a good time. I believe the two forts are about 3-4 miles apart on the opposite sides of the Niagara river, close enough to bombard each other with their big cannon.

We did the Cave of the Winds after the Maid of the Mist (boat) tour. Pretty awesome, though it was a little misty and overcast that day so it was a little less refreshing and more just wet. :D We didn't manage to get to Fort Niagara before they closed, but we did see Fort George from the town Ft Niagara is in, so it wasn't a total loss.

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Originally Posted by Alexander the Pretty Good

The Falls are beautiful (and the boat tours that bring you right up to them are pretty cool) but there are too many other tourists for me to really enjoy it. :P I think my favorite place to see was Fort George but I'm a history nerd and they had a musket firing demonstration. :P

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I saw that too! And they had a cannon firing demonstration.

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Originally Posted by A Nerd

Yes I meant submissive. One must be subtle when applying my technique. If I read your post correctly, then you did everything on par, you discovered her all important personality thru honest discourse, ie. sincerity in words. On to the next one if she was unappealing, in my eyes, you lost none of your masculinity.

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I'm glad we agree :)